Shall I split DDs inheritance of baby 2 comes along?

[AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps]

DD is about to inherit £10,000 from my Dad.

All grandchildren were left the same amount.

We are trying for a second child. It's IVF and we have only one chance. If second child does come along. Do you think I should split DDs inheritance with her?

I think if the intention were for it to be split between the GC and it's left to you and your siblings to split it I would agree you should split it between your two children JD you have another.

Hope the IVF goes well OP

@Viviennemary

Your first post is totally misleading. You have inherited £16k from your father's estate. Some of which you have already agreed to give away to your nieces and nephews. N ow your child is to be further disadvantaged by potentially having her shared halved in case you have another child. Keep the £16k and decide how to split it in a few years when your family is complete.

I've explained and apologised aboit my first post.

By keeping the £16k, that would be going back on what we've agreed, stopping nieces and nephews getting their expected amounts, all because I might have kids one day. My SIL is only 35, she might decide to have another child this time next year. It wouldn't sit right with me and could cause bad feelings. Which I don't want.

The money (imo) shouldn't be held indefinitely.

I think this is overcomplicated. I don't know why you didn't just split the money equally between you and your siblings and then the parents get to decide how much goes to their own children. If people aren't finished having children or have different amounts it's a bit unfair. You say you don't want to deprive the other grandchildren of some money to make all grandkids have an equal amount, but is that what your father would have wanted?

While he might have expressed wishes he didn't leave a will and since there's no will, it's really up to you. It's not like your children will really understand anything about the money until they're much older. I think whether you decide on 5k or 10k though it's only fair for them to have the same sum.

My eldest received some money from my Grandma. I have kept it for her but i am adding more to my youngest child's savings so she will have the same eventually.

How much is there overall - I think they said 16k because you said 10k for your DD and 6k for you.

Frankly it should be split 3 ways and then each of you decides what to do with it.

EXACTLY how much is there in the estate and who is getting what its all quite confusing

I have RTFT and I think you should split the 10k if your IVF is successful. Future child has had no more of a relationship with grandad than existing child and as the money is coming to you it's for you to decide. I'm the oldest and I would have been absolutely mortified if I'd got a 10k fund from someone I'd never (sadly) met and my sibling had got nothing.

I would absolutely do as you want to, split your DD's inheritance between your DD and potential new child.

No.

Absolutely not - it was left to your DD! it's not yours to divide!
Give potential DC2 money from your own pocket, not your DD's, that is stealing! outrageous.

Had your DD been left the money in an actual will and/or had a relationship with your father, I'd have said the money should be given to her alone. As she missed out on getting to know him and there isn't a will, I think acting in a way that best honours his memory is the right thing to do. If your DD ends up with a sibling, then that may mean your DC sharing the money.

For now, I would look at holding the money as Premium Bonds or at investing it properly but keeping it in your name until you know your family is complete. The time to make a permanent decision about what to do with the money is once your family is complete.

We're talking much, much smaller amounts of money but my DC1 was given various sums of money from my DGM during the two years their lives overlapped. DC1 is named after her and bought a lot of joy to DGM in her final years. When DGM died, DC1, the newborn great grandchild she'd not yet met, and the one whose birth she'd been looking forward to, each received a few hundred pounds in her will. The four who've been born since, haven't received anything.

When DC2 was born, I wondered what DH and I would do and if we'd make an effort to even things up in the future but we decided not to. DGM didn't know/know about DC2 when she was alive as she was born three years after her death. DC2's name honours DGM's and I know DGM would have adored DC2 as she did all her grandchildren and great grandchildren.

It's not your money to give away. If you feel strongly, give your own money instead of your DDs, saving 10k over time for an additional sibling.

I don’t really get the point of the question. Money was left to kids, not grandkids. Kids then deciding on a way to split it - between grandkids based personal choice and interpretation of wishes. So really you can do whatever you want with it. Added to that, additional child is currently non-existent so it’s completely hypothetical!

The specifics don’t really matter. The absolute number one consideration for me as a parent would be ensuring that I treat my children fairly and equally. However you can do that (within your means) should guide your decision.

Personally, I’d put it away in an account that matures when they turn 18 and then aim to save the same for the next child to match it, as I would not be comfortable with the inequity between siblings. It could create a lot of resentment when they are older.

I don't agree that you are only taking £10k of the £16666 you are entitled to. I think you should each take your 3rd and then its up to each set of parents to distribute their share, but thats up to you and it seems you are 100% set on that decision.

With your £10k, I absolutely think that you should keep it until you have finished having children and then split the money equally between however many you end up with. I think you need to keep it fair. Any new children that come along will still be a DGC of your DF. It will be nice for each of your DC that although they never met DGF, he was still able to give them a helping hand and they might find it quite sentimental. If they put their portion towards an asset or achieving something to help their future, they will likely have that link with their DGF for the rest of their lives.

Why are you stressing so much, put the money into an account for you DD IF you have any more children just split the balance into an account for each child.
Add extra money each month so it gets topped up, so each child has 10k at 18. It's only £100 a month for 18 years.

I think you are doing your child and potentially future child a disservice here. Firstly to assume your dad wouldn't want your newborn to have a share because he didn't get to meet her... That is so sad, and I'm so sorry for that OP, but it is a really odd assumption to make. He didn't get to give her any love, of course he would want her to at least have a fair share of his inheritance. Now you are all being so insistent you don't care about the money and don't want to hold onto it any longer than absolutely essential and this isn't fair on any future grandchildren. I think you all need to be more open about this. It isn't mercenary to discuss it and it seems like you think it is. Your dad would want it to be fair. He was extremely short sighted to say grandchildren only as if he'd done things the usual way and shared it between bis three children none of you would have the stress.

The most obvious thing to do is split it three ways and you write it into your will that it is shared by your own children. Then any future children of yours or your siblings get a fair share. Please suggest this to your siblings. They may not be done having children either and be worrying about the exact same thing.

Yes. I would. I think it is in the spirit of what your father would have wanted if your second child had been in existence before he died. I'd not bother going near a solicitor. Otherwise, I'd save up to give the second child the same amount. Its not fair to set one up and not the other. My parents always believed in fair treatment above all else.

No.

My eldest has more in his savings than the youngest due to this very reason.

When both Grandparents died basically of another Grandchild was born within a year of their death then xx amount of money (the same as what was left to all living Grandchildren) was taken out of the estate. Sibling money was not divided. In my youngest cousins family. The eldest two boys have received an inheritance and the youngest two were born three and six years after my grandparents passed away so they have not received anything from my grandparent estate.

This is why money shouldn’t skip generations ... mess all around!

You are making this so complicated.

Your dad should have made a will. You don't have to follow his wishes.

If you want to then it is so simple. You have been left the money. It is all very well him saying he has £50k and wants his five grandchildren to get £10k each but the facts are, the three adult kids get an equal share then they split it equally within their own family. You have the potential for two kids so you give them half each. If another baby doesn't come along then give your dd the other half.

@Redjumper1

Just split the money three ways (between you, DS and DB) as per intestacy rules. You can then look after your own children as you see fit and filling your Dad's general wishes. This doesn't leave any future children out.

That. If there's no will, then it's split equally between the three siblings. Passing it on to their offspring is the choice (or not) of each sibling.

@Hoppinggreen

So what you actually want to know is that when you get your inheritance should you give the sum you had originally planned to your daughter or should you give her half and hold into the other half yourself for a while until you see whether you are having another child. Is that right? I would probably put £5000 in an account for her and once you have had your final attempt at IVF if it’s successful put another £5000 in an account for the new baby or if not add another £5000 to your daughters account.

I agree with this solution 😊

Good luck with your IVF treatment 🤞🏻💐

I don’t really understand OP.

In your first post it was heavily implied it was going to be split. Several drip feeds later you said it won’t be split and DD gets the full 10k. Now, again, you’re on the fence and wanting to split it again.

I think it’s entirely obvious you will split it by your whole attitude towards it. Though I do personally disagree, taking money from an already existing children for a potential one

Given all that you have said I think it makes sense to potentially split it between your dc.
I would put 5k into a specific account for Dd and 5k into an account in your name. Transfer over when dc2 Is born or into dds account if she remains an only child.
Given that it wasn't specifically left to her you are free to do that. It would be the right thing to do in my opinion.
I also think it's great that you and your siblings are in agreement about fulfilling your Dads wishes.

Unless you invest it well it will be a small sum of money by the time your DD gets to need it. Just deal with it through your will or save for a future Dc to redress the balance. Or put it in premium bonds and split the winnings.