Petty things that have put you off a book

[RosieLemonade]

I have just finished a book based in 2017. Teenagers called Tim, Paul and Sarah. It really took me out of it.
Anyone been put off a book for a petty reason?

I don’t even know what card his hair would mean!

The narrator (audio book) sounded exactly like my ex. Couldn't get into it at all.

I agree about dialect being written, as if we're so stupid we can't imagine how it would sound in that accent. I have a very regional accent with words peculiar to that area. If it was written down it would be like a foreign language.

As a pp said, a series of similarly named characters of the same sex who are insufficiently differentiated. Kate Atkinson's Transcription seemed to have an endlessly supply of vaguely tweedy Englishmen called Godfrey, Oliver and Perry, and female antagonists called Nelly and Dolly, and managed to make spying incredibly dull.

Novels where the author is determined to describe the point of view character as soon as possible in the narrative, so has them examine themselves minutely in a mirror within the first few paragraphs, often in deeply unlikely terms: 'I looked at my loose red curls, my alabaster complexion, the scattering of freckles on my tip-tilted nose, my slightly-too-curvy figure. Oh, if only I looked like skinny blonde supermodel Helen!' This often stands in for a total lack of characterisation.

As others have said, basic research. If I am talking to you, Lucy Foley you are going to have all your main characters know one another because they met at Oxford, then at least look up how the college and tutorial system works. Also, it's pretty lazy to have 'met at Oxford' be shorthand for 'total assholes'.

@ElizabethinherGermanGarden

Someone on here pointed out how many female characters 'pad' around the house and now I can't unsee it. Women are padding about everywhere!

I'm listening to Holy Island by L J Ross and I don't know whether the things that sound like glaring errors to me genuinely are, because I don't really know anything about Lindisfarne or pagan ritual or policing except from a lifetime of reading detective novels. But really, would the police employ a civilian consultant about ritual sacrifice who conflates the neolithic, the dark ages and early medieval periods? The 'expert' seems to keep it all very fluid. Also, she is shagging the policeman and her sister was murdered by a serial killer and it doesn't seem to bother her very much. AND the police had to wait while scene of crime photographs were developed on the mainland before they could look at them. It's set in 2015!

I read this book and loved it. Didn't notice anything you describe so clearly it's been written with someone like me in mind (someone with the attention span of a gnat but who also reads too quickly and obsessively but then forgets the story a few days after finishing 😂)

I read a detective novel set where I grew up in London. At one point they drive from the murder site to the police station and go completely the wrong way. Really wound me up.

@RaraRachael

If a book is set in the USA or told in the first person, I won't read it

????! That must limit your reading choices somewhat, and deny you some of the greats of English (and world) literature too.

Off the top of my head The Great Gatsby, Jane Ayre, Gulliver’s Travels, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Catcher in the Rye, Rebecca,To Kill a Mocking Bird, Treasure Island... all have first person narration.

@ichundich

Not a book, but I'm currently watching Elite on Netflix, and one character throws up a few times because she is 4 (!) weeks pregnant. Also anything paranormal makes me switch off instantly.

It does happen @ichundich. I threw up even before my period was due and carried on until bang on 11 weeks.

But I agree about paranormal. 😊

@SingToTheSky
Running her tapered fingers through it, I think, like carding wool with a comb, as we all do frequently.

There is a good subreddit called "Men writing women", with a 10 stone weight making you one of those comedy fat women who "waddle" and "heave their ponderous bulk" out of cars, and many breasts swelling luxuriantly with excitement.

Novels where the author is determined to describe the point of view character as soon as possible in the narrative, so has them examine themselves minutely in a mirror within the first few paragraphs, often in deeply unlikely terms

Ohhh yes.

I much prefer to find out gradually what they look like. Even when I sometimes have to readjust my image of them later on. It just feels so false to do that self-analysis stuff

Female characters who are not only clever and successful, but also stunningly beautiful, full of patience for their children, capable cooks usually with time for some part time sleuthing on the side and always there for their friends.

I mean it's just like reading my autobiography. Yawn

I think I've mentioned this on a similar thread but I read a book partly set in Scotland where one of the characters owned a castle on "the Perthshire Coast" with a secret tunnel to the sea. That must be some tunnel!

[quote LondonStone]@WhereHaveAllTheGoodTimesGone 🤷🏻‍♀️ I didn’t make the change.

In the first book, at one of the meal times in the there are crumpets on the table and in the American version they changed the word crumpets to English muffins.

I’m not saying they are the same thing, I’m just saying I find it weird that they change things like that as if an American couldn’t possibly comprehend anything outside of their own experience.

I read loads of American books growing up (Babysitters Club, Sweet Valley High!) and enjoyed finding out what things meant if I didn’t understand them and that was in the 90s. No excuse to not find out what crumpets are in 2009 if you don’t know.[/quote]
Ah, fair enough then. Their bad.

[quote FlosCampi]@SingToTheSky
Running her tapered fingers through it, I think, like carding wool with a comb, as we all do frequently.

There is a good subreddit called "Men writing women", with a 10 stone weight making you one of those comedy fat women who "waddle" and "heave their ponderous bulk" out of cars, and many breasts swelling luxuriantly with excitement.[/quote]
Yuck! Though that doesn't surprise me seeing as most redditors seem to be 20 year olds living in their parent's basement. Does anyone over the age of 23 even post on reddit?

[quote thosetalesofunexpected]@Blondie107

The author of that sheep pet book you read as a teenager, was obviously a visionary who could see into the future in a rather quirky way the bigger picture of how transgender issues or anything related to this topic is a Big story nowdays !😁[/quote]
Well, quite. One musn't be too quick to assume the gender of the sheep.

When the characters names are so long and unique that I haven't got a clue how to read them in my head!

I think the redditors are collating egregious writing rather than creating it, fortunately!

I read a US detective series that was free on Kindle Unlimited. The titles escape me but the main character was a detective called Joe somethingorother.

I'm not a prude but there was a lot of superfluous sexual description that added nothing whatsoever to the story. Along the lines of "Joe met Lindsay, the district attorney, in her office. Her breasts strained at her cream silk blouse. He struggled to concentrate on the murder case in hand as his mind wandering to giving her one over her mahogany desk". (This being a purely professional work encounter). Just an unnecessary eugh.

@sophs29

When the characters names are so long and unique that I haven't got a clue how to read them in my head!

I confess that I read at least the first two of the Harry Potter books using Hermy-oh-knee in my head. It's not even long or complicated!

I just finished a book where someone had performed lobotomies on their own children by sticking a knife into their eye socket and cutting the relevant part of the brain. The only visible damage was a droopy eye!

Ah thanks re the carding, I’ve never heard of it before!

:o at the genderfluid sheep. Or was it non baanery?

I hate reading descriptions of fat people in books. They always have ‘currant eyes in puddingy faces’, or worse - “piggy eyes”; they’re always waddling everywhere or heaving their bulk about, and they usually at some point are ‘shovelling’ or ‘slurping’ at food or drink. Oh and more often than not have food stains on their clothes just in case the author hasn’t quite hammered home enough how huge and disgusting fat people are

Also read a book a few years ago where the characters were constantly staring at each other.
“What?” Said Jane. Harry stared at her.
“You know what,” he replied. Jane stared at him. Sarah walked in. They both stared at her.
It actually got quite comical in the end and I had to stop reading. How does this stuff not get picked up in the edit? This was quite a renowned author.

@SingToTheSky

Novels where the author is determined to describe the point of view character as soon as possible in the narrative, so has them examine themselves minutely in a mirror within the first few paragraphs, often in deeply unlikely terms

Ohhh yes.

I much prefer to find out gradually what they look like. Even when I sometimes have to readjust my image of them later on. It just feels so false to do that self-analysis stuff

I give up on books where characters spend half the first chapter staring at themselves in bathroom mirrors too.

I remember reading an (1960s?) American science fiction novel in which the central character wasn't described. It was only very late in the book, when he had successfully travelled back in time to try to prevent whatever disaster had befallen the world, that it became apparent from the reactions of the god-fearing Southern folks he encountered that he was black. A real OMG! turn all my assumptions upside down moment. That's the way to do it.

@Asthenia

I hate reading descriptions of fat people in books. They always have ‘currant eyes in puddingy faces’, or worse - “piggy eyes”; they’re always waddling everywhere or heaving their bulk about, and they usually at some point are ‘shovelling’ or ‘slurping’ at food or drink. Oh and more often than not have food stains on their clothes just in case the author hasn’t quite hammered home enough how huge and disgusting fat people are

I hate that! I'm obese and hate getting stains on my clothes! same as any other woman. And as if we all going to be eating 24/7 in front of others, knowing as we do that even eating an apple in public gets us that tut tut judgy look...