Petty things that have put you off a book

[RosieLemonade]

I have just finished a book based in 2017. Teenagers called Tim, Paul and Sarah. It really took me out of it.
Anyone been put off a book for a petty reason?

A book which opened with a woman weighing herself, and who realised with horror she simply couldn't attend that wedding at the weekend as she weighed almost 11 stone and she would just die of shame in front of her ex.

FUCK OFF.

Also the book which misspelled Barack Obama on the first page. I mean, almost the most famous person in the world and you couldn't even get that right? Nope.

I’ve tried to read many romance novels, both historical and contemporary, by US authors set in the UK, and invariably by about page 3 there’s some glaring Americanism or cod-attempt at English slang that makes me toss the book to one side. The most recent one, bizarrely, was by a writer who’s actually English and lives in the UK, but there were casual references to Styrofoam and Xanax, a car had “plowed” into a building, and the main character falls for the “building superintendent” who objects to an old lady “shoving bollocks down your loo”, which makes her sound like a serial killer. I wondered if she’d written it aiming for a primarily US readership. Thank god for Kindle free samples, anyway.

@FoonySpucker I'm glad you thought so too!

@EineReiseDurchDieZeit

I was very amused reading an autobiography last year by an American who was VERY proud of their links to Ireland/basically considered themselves Irish

Towards the end she described Roscommon as being "just outside Dublin"

It's 80 miles away.

Also, noted this about names being wrong for the era several times but the name of the most recent offender escapes me.

That's funny, because to an American with america being so vast, it probably does seem ''just outside of''. Is roscommon only 80 miles outside of Dublin, I thought it was more!

Yes I remember that about Scarpetta. She also became such a downtrodden victim if my memory serves me correct, and we liked her as she was so strong. That was her thing!

I stopped reading a series cos it said "I pronounce you man and wife". I can't bear it! It was obviously written by a man. I couldn't read any more .

@BitOfFun

She put the bottle down and raised her arm. Lady nuzzled up to her then rolled over, clumsily, onto her back. ‘Typical woman, aren’t you?’ Kellie slurred affectionately, the buzz from the vodka lifting her midday blues. ’Just want your tits caressed.’

This was from a Peter James book. It was like a needle scratching a record: I couldn’t read another word.

Eugh. I put down a Harlan Coban book when he described a woman as ''a felony in a bikini''.

And that was coming from the main character. It wasn't the voice of a character who was presented as a sexist old perv. It was from a character who the writer based on himself. [vomit]

I can't stand it when a male writer tries to write from a female point of view. Never works.

I have a weakness for historical fiction but it’s very hard to find any that doesn’t have anachronistic female mindsets- everyone’s a feminist. Or the author completely ignores the intense religious indoctrination that guided everyday thoughts and actions in the Middle Ages.

The Outlander series was painful - particularly when Claire was crashing around French aristocratic circles and the author clearly had no idea that she would have been giving offence at every turn. Claire is supposed to be a time travelling mid-20th c English woman but actually she’s a late 20th c American.

The absolute worst was a spanking scene involving Henry VIII in a Philippa Gregory novel where a man who had courtiers to help him blow his nose, had managed to plan ahead and secrete a whip in his bed to privately humiliate the female character in a very 21st c bdsm scene. Even for Philippa Gregory that was an embarrassment.

• Eugh. I put down a Harlan Coban book when he described a woman as ''a felony in a bikini''.

And that was coming from the main character. It wasn't the voice of a character who was presented as a sexist old perv. It was from a character who the writer based on himself. [vomit]*

I really enjoy the plots in Harlan Coban books but his female characters are agonisingly shit. Every single one of them is sO bEaUtiFuL all heads turn to look at her wherever she goes! She’s a pro wrestler and she’s sassy and HOT! She’s a lawyer and she’s sassy and HOT! She’s an actress and she’s sassy and HOT!

I can't stand books written in the present tense. DS2 bought me a book for Christmas and not only are the characters unlikeable generally, it's also in the present tense. I'm gamely trying to read it but it grates so much.

Also- any author that has pet phrases. I think it was Jilly Cooper who had heroines who wore dresses that 'swooped to positive indecency' or some such. Another author used 'rushed in' as an alternative to 'replied' or 'said' etc. Very irritating once you've noticed it.

Inclusion of dialogue withou speech marks really annoys me. What is the bloody purpose of omitting just that one bit of punctuation - one that aids navigation and comprehension hugely - but retaining all the full stops, commas, question marks and all the rest? It's just ridiculous stylistic posturing.

The opening page of The Ratline by Phillips Sands has a very unfortunate ‘it’s’ which should be ‘its’, right in the middle of what is supposed to be a gripping, atmospheric intro. Embarrassing for him. I presume they will have corrected it for the paperback. There are various other signs throughout that the editor was sleeping on the job - repetition etc. Poor quality control for what’s supposed to be top notch nonfiction.

There’s a thread in classics that I started describing ridiculous things in books. Here’s one of mine. Don’t ask me what book it was from but it gave me the rage.

‘We took the central line to South Kensington and emerged to the splendid grandeur of the Royal Albert Hall’

No, you absolute twat you did not. The central line goes now where near. The PICCADILLY AND DISTRICT AND CIRCLE LINES do but you would emerge to the ‘splendid grandeur of Ben’s Cookies’.

@riotlady yeh, you're left in no doubt that the writer is very basic. He can churn out a plot ok but a woman can be anything so long as she's hot. It's so true! The dinner ladies and the cleaners weren't really women because they weren't HOT

Lynwood Barclay is just as good but not as sexist.

In the Thursday murder club, they plan to just dig up and build on a grave yard. Err you can't do that. The book is crap anyway.

In one book a father was saying to his daughter that he had supported her through her GCSEs - OK, but they were in Scotland. I don't know whether any state schools in Edinburgh offer GCSEs but that jarred with me.

A Nicholas Sparks novel where the main character loses loads of weight after his wife leaves him by taking up jogging, which he does every day by leaving his five year old at home alone.

The first time it was mentioned I flinched, but would have forgiven the apparent oversight that it's not ok to leave a five year old at home while you jog round the block, but then it felt like his morning runs were mentioned every few pages and he was marvelling at how many miles he was able to run as he improved, and I just kept thinking about how long he was leaving his child home alone for each day.

Ironically part of the book was about the wife trying to get full custody of the child. She probably would have had a strong case if she'd known how many times that child was left home alone!

Its typically completely impossible to read a novel where the main character does your job - theres often so many inaccuracies and for me (NHS clinician) I'm thinking "he'd get struck off" every second page

Continuity errors. I read a book last year that described a woman hiding a tool box in her bed room. A few paragraphs later, she was in the kitchen and reached into said toolbox.

Another one had a lengthy piece about a woman being unable to afford a car seat for her baby. She got a taxi home, then the first thing she did on getting in was prop the car seat against the sofa. Yes, that's the car seat you've just spent a page telling us she couldn't afford.

I can understand authors overlooking things like this, because I imagine the book goes through several drafts and you might change some bits and not others - but how are they not picked up by editors before the book is printed?

Also- any author that has pet phrases.

Yes, I agree with this one. I read a book recently where it was 'a beat of silence'. Every time someone paused, there was 'a beat of silence'. Fine to use once or twice but it got more and more annoying as the book went on.

@StealthPolarBear

Generally bad spelling and grammar, especially when I've paid more than a pound or so. Noticing it more and more. I was reading a book set in the North East and Darlington was shortened to 'Darly'. That just isn't how it is, darlington is shortened to 'Darlo'.

I'd have had to stop reading either way, I hate Darlo, it makes me cringe. Same got most people I know too.

A book that included a medieval castle. In America.

I couldn't read any more.

It doesnt really bother me - maybe it would if I lived there - but it's definitely not Darly!

@RaraRachael

If a book is set in the USA or told in the first person, I won't read it

Why not? That massively limits what you can read!

@TheDaydreamBelievers

Its typically completely impossible to read a novel where the main character does your job - theres often so many inaccuracies and for me (NHS clinician) I'm thinking "he'd get struck off" every second page

Have you seen greys anatomy? I love it but every episode I am appalled at the things they get away with. Every now and again they'll cite patient confidentiality and it's good to know thwy have actually heard of it. That's just one of the things I find shocking.