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Why would anyone do this? Friend related - help!

3 replies

AnabellesMummy · 20/03/2021 08:39

Not thank someone for a present? I gave a newish friend a small Christmas gift partly as a thank you for doing something for me (I didn't ask- she offered.)

Because of lockdown and her being at work, I dropped it through her letter box. She lives alone and the pets can't have destroyed it (joke.) I know her through a Spanish conversation class but we've not met in person for ages, just by video.

After I dropped the present off I assumed she'd text. Nothing. I waited for a few days and thought as it was near Christmas she may have been busy.

She still hasn't mentioned it at all. We've had 2 online meetings (with lots of other people) so I didn't want to raise it in front of the others.

I am now kicking myself that I didn't message her weeks ago. But what could I have said? I know she received it as she lives alone. I feel really snubbed. I only spent under a tenner but I did wrap it nicely and included a card.

It's making me feel really awkward. I'm struggling to understand why someone wouldn't say thank you. Without going into details, the 'favour' didn't warrant thanks, but I did it as a gesture. We aren't youngsters- both in our 50s.

WWYD? It feels far too late to ask her now, but I am really puzzled.

OP posts:
MaMaD1990 · 20/03/2021 08:43

As you say, it's too far gone now and I really wouldn't say anything or get too worked up over it. Could be several reasons why she hadn't said thank you (didn't think she needed to, thought she'd sent a message, forgot). Some people just don't say thank you (rightly or wrongly).

sonjadog · 20/03/2021 08:49

Maybe she thought she did you a favour, you gave her a gift, transaction completed. Or she was really busy when she got it and it completely slipped her mind to thank you. Or maybe she was thinking she would say thanks in person but has only seen you in the group where it wasn't really suitable to mention, and now she thinks it has gone to long to say anything. Could be anything really. If she has been behaving completely normally to you since, I would just let it go this time.

Workinghardeveryday · 20/03/2021 09:04

If it was me it would bug me too.

Can you not txt/ring her, normal conversation back and forth for a while. Then just drop into conversation, ‘I hope you liked xyz I dropped off at Christmas, sorry it wasn’t very much, just wanted to say thank you’. Then it will prompt her response without feeling awkward?

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