Phrases that give you The Rage (lighthearted)

[Saggingninja]

Often heard on Daytime TV: 'She's 85/90/years young'. It's the 'young' - so patronising and irritating. See also, 'Not being funny . . .' followed by spirit-crushing comment.

'Your mum's on the phone' biggest rage inducer I know.

Also “one on one”, when they mean “one to one”, as in tete a tete. One on one is an evenly matched combat, not a meeting.
And “arriving into” instead of arriving in.
And “stepping” foot, which should be setting foot.
Early doors, which should be early days.
Misuse of past tenses - eg he rung instead of he rang.

Period. Not meaning menstruation but when people say things like " I told DS that he couldn't go to the party. Period." It makes me irrationally angry.
The term is "full stop".(Unless you're actually American of course.)

Over the moon.
Can't stand it.

Cherchez la femme.

When someone tells you who they are, listen to them.

Very unique.

Ugh, please don’t. I just started a new job last week and I’m still feeling a bit new so keep saying these things. My mouth just spouts meaningless rubbish while my brain is trying to remember something. I even talked about giving 110% and when all’s said and done. I cringe as I say it and I suspect I’m getting a crazy cliche woman reputation.

Also “one on one”, when they mean “one to one”, as in tete a tete. One on one is an evenly matched combat, not a meeting.

In fairness, 1-2-1s with my old manager were like a form of combat. Probably most closely resembling the scene on GoT when one of Danny’s dragons unexpectedly flambés a sheep.

Myself and yourself when not used by either the Irish or in the reflexive sense.

My mother calling Covid-19 'Comvit'

You'd have thought that after spending all day on Youtube watching conspiracy theory videos about how its all a hoax and the vaccine is an elaborate ploy to implant us all with microchips that she'd know how its fucking pronounced.

More generally...
"Let's circle back". Nope, convoluted.
"Womxn". Nope, it's 'women'
"Tinkly laugh". Nope, middle-class, MN bullshit.
"Sip". Nope, trying to make yourself sound ladylike, it's 'drink'

People who say "like" randomly as they're talking. Stop it. Think before you speak and be articulate.

@Mamamamasaurus "a pop of colour ". I can.not.stand.it.

My truth
Sweet treats

Not phrases, but
Brung
Brekkie
Leccie

Ending a sentence with 'you know what I mean?'
Yes of course I know what you bloody mean

'Every parents worse nightmare'

Doesnt matter what it is,
Child fallen down well
Child fallen into industrial meat grinder
Child eaten by savage penguins
Childs fingers stuck up their nose

Red flag. It is such a Mumsnet cliche. And, yes, 'when some one shows you...'. Usually flourished as if the user themselves had thought of it.

Early doors, which should be early days Early doors is correct though.

I think most of my have been listed...
"Myself" - one of my workmates used to do this repeatedly. Once I had noticed it used to drive me mad.
"All day long" - overused
"Making memories" - also known as being alive.

This one is a bit random and specific to MN - "hot, buttered toast". I'm bloody glad you said that! I was going to have cold, dry toast!

Most of the above!😶

Moving forward...a favourite at meetings, which makes me want to pettishly point out that moving backwards is not currently possible with our concept of time.

Awesome...used for something perfectly commonplace.

Anyone who uses ‘See/C U Next Tuesday, instead of either using the word cunt proudly, or choosing something they are happy to say aloud.

"It's not you, it's me. I need to find myself/sort my head out".

Deployed by commitment phobic men - usually after they've got they wanted and just before they disappear into the sunset, never to be heard from again.

@HedgeSparrows

Staycation. It means staying at home and having day trips out. It does not mean going on holiday in the UK - the word for that is holiday.

This!!

And anyone who says gotten

For some reason the phrase 'speak to', as in, Bob is going to speak to these slides/this issue, perhaps it is perfectly reasonable corporate speak but whenever this is said in a meeting, I internally yell 'talk about, Bob is going to bloody talk about this issue with HR not speak to it' irritates me for the rest of the meeting.

It is what it is - defeatist nonsense

I love the bones of him/them/whoever - strangely sinister

Liking something 'of' an evening - jarring

Dislike the word 'veggies' - they're vegetables!

At work it’s all about increasing “self gifting” sales.

Oh and “newness”.

Both of these can fuck off.

Oh and “female founder” or “mumpreneur”. I hate both of these with a passion.

Veggies
Roasties
Yorkies

It’s vegetables, roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings for gods sake!!!!!!