What childcare / getting to school options do we have?

[speedywotsit]

Need some help seeing the obvious here....

I work full time, set hours 8-4, 30 mins drive away. Niche job. No other options available. Love my job.

9yo autistic son goes to SEN school 1.7miles away in opposite direction to work - leaves 8.45 and returns 3.55 with DH who gave up work a few years ago when things were REALLY bad in mainstream school and we were all falling apart.

Dh has applied for a full time job now things are really settled for DS. He would need to be out the house 7.30-5.00. Getting his career back is really important.

Major stumbling block....DS around school times. I can drop 1 day and a bit of family help another day but we would struggle for 3 days a week

• not eligible for school transport, would need to go in the car
• too far for DS to walk safely. We would never let him walk alone anyway
• no wraparound care. Not a thing at SEN schools

I'm thinking our only option is some sort of childcare person to sit in our house for an hour before school and after....is that a thing? And do a school run in the car to a SEN placement....with SEN experience...do such people exist wanting this sort of thing?

DS is going to really struggle anywhere except home and school and with new people so needs to be stable

Am I missing something obvious?? Is this a disaster and it'll be my turn to give up work now....

No-one will want to do an hour before and after school, plus drive.
An au spot might be an option, but it’s very difficult to get one at the moment and you’d need to provide a car.
Could you get a supervised taxi service and have a family member at home?
Otherwise you’d need to offer more hours to make it attractive .

Is there a teaching assistant at school who may want some extra hours paid as a Personal Assistant? That could definitely do the start of the days although the end of the days may be an issue with staff meetings etc.

I don’t think you are missing anything, unfortunately it’s why a lot of Sen parents aren’t able to work. Even if you could get someone I think it would be hard to then also get the right person. I’ve been lucky as my mum will have my ds for me but if I didn’t have her one or the other of us would have to give up work. Also what are you doing school holidays? There’s not usually the opinion of just putting them in a holiday club like parents of nt children have

@underneaththeash

No-one will want to do an hour before and after school, plus drive. An au spot might be an option, but it’s very difficult to get one at the moment and you’d need to provide a car. Could you get a supervised taxi service and have a family member at home? Otherwise you’d need to offer more hours to make it attractive .

That's what I thought....not very attractive really.

There's no one (family) who can sit in - they have to come from too far away and only happy to come 1 day a week.

We can't get school transport but are looking into whether we can pay for it ourselves maybe. Would still need a hours childcare before it arrives in the morning.

It's so difficult. This is what wraparound care is for. Just doesn't seem to apply to the already difficult world of SEN ☹️

Your partner will have to start work later surely?

@Luckypoppy

Is there a teaching assistant at school who may want some extra hours paid as a Personal Assistant? That could definitely do the start of the days although the end of the days may be an issue with staff meetings etc.

This was our first thought and have discussed it a bit with school but it didnt seem to be something they would encourage and wouldn't really discuss it. Will try again though. Or advertise someone??

DH is going back to teaching so static hours as well but school holidays off.

Both of us are have non negotiable hours with zero flexibility.

Very few part time teacher jobs and I can only drop 1 day.

Teaching is all he knows so has been trying for other jobs with no success. He tutors anyway but it's not enough money long term at all. We'd have to sell the house causing more disruption etc. Being a single income family was only meant to be for a few years while we got DS assessed and settled etc.

There really aren't any..... Its why so many parents are trapped at home and its a disgrace. SEN schools don't even have breakfast and after school clubs 🙄
What I'd do is ring around a few childminders and see if they can offer anything, I'd advertise on Facebook. A young student doing a childcare course maybe be interested in earning some money. And depending on how capable he is could you look at organising your own taxi to take him each day?

You could advertise on the childcare website for a nanny (preferably with SEN experience... there are some, I’m a Nanny who know a few who do before and after school with experience). But you may have to make it more enticing by offering some more hours... could the Nanny change the children’s beds, fold some clothes, do some errands for you for a few extra hours a week?
Just an option worth exploring maybe.

Can you try and find a CM near DS's school? Your husband could drop off before work and you pick up when you finish. They could do the school run on foot then. However, it would make DS's day much longer , would he cope with that?

I used to have a before and after school nanny, but her dc was at the same school as mine. Actually she is currently out of work and would probably consider what you are suggesting, as her DC are older. You might be surprised, people might be interested, eg early retiree, SAHP whose kids are older and likes middle of the day at home? Different person in morning to afternoon?

You’d have to pay more than a normal hourly rate as it’s so few hours, and possibly have all the hassle of being employer (use nanny payroll agency), but there could be people who would do it. I’d try the Facebook route too but be very careful with interviewing.

In your home so no ofsted hassle, but employment law and tax apply.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

Can you try and find a CM near DS's school? Your husband could drop off before work and you pick up when you finish. They could do the school run on foot then. However, it would make DS's day much longer , would he cope with that?

I like this idea for ease but DS doesn't mix well with non autistic others so it would only work if he was there alone. I would guess childminders have a raft of children?

That said, I really like the idea of finding someone by his school. I wonder if any TAs live in walking distance and want a few extra hours that's not actually to do with school.....I was thinking of him staying at school but this could be a good alternative.

I disagree that no one will want to do this. While people might not be queuing up to do it, there are people who want this sort of thing. Think retirees who want to get out the house and top up their pension or sometimes people have their own business and like a bit of regular income on the side. I’m just thinking of the sorts of people that used to escort the transport when I worked in special school which was the same sort of thing really hours wise and these were the demographics it attracted. Doesn’t hurt to put out an advert.

@ILovemyCatsSoSoMuch

I used to have a before and after school nanny, but her dc was at the same school as mine. Actually she is currently out of work and would probably consider what you are suggesting, as her DC are older. You might be surprised, people might be interested, eg early retiree, SAHP whose kids are older and likes middle of the day at home? Different person in morning to afternoon?

You’d have to pay more than a normal hourly rate as it’s so few hours, and possibly have all the hassle of being employer (use nanny payroll agency), but there could be people who would do it. I’d try the Facebook route too but be very careful with interviewing.

In your home so no ofsted hassle, but employment law and tax apply.

Thank you - all things I've not got to the point of thinking about but really good advice.

Asking around for a TA from school is a good idea. Again, when I worked in special school several TAs did this for different children. You will need to make sure you do it properly though, ask the headteacher to put and advert up in the staff room and pay them proper paye (not cash in hand).

There are definitely people who do this. I have someone who picks my schedule up after school and stays with them until I get home. An older lady. She would do the morning too if I needed it.

Maybe a housekeeper kind of person might do it. Come over, walk DS to school, stick a wash on, do the beds and then come back in the afternoon. Pick him up, give him a snack and put some dinner on for you.

No-one will want to do an hour before and after school, plus drive.

An education/early years/child psychology student might. When I was at uni a friend was an 'after school nanny' for a few hours after lectures...getting DC home, giving them a snack, and getting them started on homework. Morning might be trickier if they have 9am lectures.

My sister in law works at an SEN school and she has three children from the school that she regularly looks after for respite/childcare.

In fact she has one who is dropped off at her house as the parent is off to work on a morning and I assume she then takes the little girl to school. I think this was set up as an informal arrangement initially but she's been doing this for a few years now. I would try and speak to the staff.

Advertise on local mag or make up little advert and walk round where you live posting it. You need someone local who wouldn't mind a few hours at the beginning and end of day
I got lucky and pay the lady who is my daughters taxi escort. But it is tricky. You will also need to pay a good hourly rate to make it attractive.

Thanks everyone - lots to think about here. Really appreciate the advice!

Where are you in the country? In London Koru Kids offer this kind of service. I think you and DH need to sit down and work out the max amount you're able to pay on childcare (including the tax) as you may as well try to find someone who can do full days within the school holidays as well. Or two someones.

Also ask every single person you know. You need a sensible retired person and/or a student or recent graduate struggling for work.

DH should also speak to his employer. There's a huge teacher shortage and the school could almost certainly timetable him from break onwards for a couple of days a week, with notice. But talk to them NOW because this is when staffing and timetabling is finalised.

Sorry - point about school holidays is that DH"s and DS's won't entirely match.

I had this problem but for non SEN children.. and we both managed with full time jobs, so don’t think about giving up work.
For three years we had au pairs that worked out well and at other times we had before and after school care at home, but on an expensive hourly rate (quite right when you’re only offering a few hours).
Sometimes a nanny housekeeper would also consider this at a decent hourly rate.. so look after DS, do some cooking and cleaning or whatever.
Don’t give up

Ask the teacher whether any of the TAs do care work outside of school. We’ve just asked as we’ve been awarded a generous (!) 8 hours of carer time a week in school holidays and the school have said yes they do so we are waiting to hear whether anyone can help.

Are you absolutely sure you don’t qualify for school transport? It’s very unlikely you don’t unless there was a closer suitable school, but even then there would have to be a serious cost discrepancy for them to refuse. Try speaking to SENTAS to make sure. Unless of course you agreed that you would transport if they named the school? They can’t hold you to this as your circumstances have now changed. If that’s the case definitely get advice.

Would a care agency be able to help?