Met a lovely man who I really get on with. When we speak it’s for hours at a time and when we meet it’s great.
I have a history of huge insecurity about being abandoned (continually dealt with in therapy but still struggling with it). Any little thing can set me off in my mind but I rarely communicate it. It means I never know if something is a red flag or if I’m the red flag.
My last relationship started well, only to find out 6 months later that he was EXTREMELY hung up on his ex. Had basically been stalking her the entire time, even taken me to restaurants in the hope he would see her. It’s made me look at every relationship since for signs of similar behaviour as the whole thing took me by surprise.
This new chap is so nice. But I’ve got this insecurity going again over something that sounds ridiculous but feels real to me. We are supposed to me meeting this weekend. We spoke about it on the phone on Monday, discussed that he may stay over both sort of agreed that was the general plan. He then text last night to say looking forward to seeing me sat evening. I said me too. Then today I messaged to ask if he had any food preferences and did he want to stay the night...he read it hours ago and has been online since and not replied. I have this sense that he is either interested in someone else and that’s why he’s online and not bothering to reply or he’s generally not that interested.
I know that you shouldn’t check last online etc etc but it’s there and I have and do. I’m not a stalker, if he closed off that information I wouldn’t try and seek it out, it’s there for the world to see.
Is my feeling right do you think? I want to send a message saying I’m not feeling this anymore and all the best...but that’s classic me throwing in a grenade as soon as I feel vulnerable. Would appreciate any advice.