I might be pregnant and I have no idea how I feel.

[SilentPanic]

Am 5 days late. Usually like clockwork, but there are other factors that could cause this. I have never before been 5 days late.
I had unprotected sex. It's complicated, but I didn't mean for it to happen and I got carried away. That is not an excuse, I know it was really bloody stupid. Please don't berate me for that bit, I feel bad enough already.
The man is lovely but we're only six months in, and if I am pregnant, he will not feel ready. I have 2DC from a previous relationship and could cope financially. But I am 38 and feel old (I had my DC young.)
I'm trying to convince myself I'm not pg, but it's looking unlikely to be anything else isn't it?

Why would anyone berate you OP? You're an adult and random people online aren't your parents to be telling you off . These things happen, and part of that is accepting that there are consequences for your own choices (unprotected sex). Was there any reason why you chose not to acquire the morning after pill etc if you weren't planning a pregnancy?

As you say the late period could be a number of things. I think really at this point you need to take a breath, remove the negative blame cycle from things and test for pregnancy to find out either way then you can go from there. Don't assume your DP won't be ready or whatever else, talk to him about it instead. If the relationship is going to go the distance you'll both need to cope with things like this and have open conversations. Remember that it was also him that chose to have unprotected sex, it is everyones situation to deal with. You're not the first couple to be in this boat and you won't be the last!

Only you will know what you want to do, but you can't make meaningful decisions until you know the facts, when you do maybe things will seem a bit clearer.

Thank you. I guess I berate myself and so I expect others to do the same. It's probably misleading to say it was completely unprotected- am on the pill but I'd thrown it up almost straight away. I have an ED which has been under control but has flared up recently.
I do need to test, don't I? Five days late isn't too early is it?

Five days late definitely isn't too early to test. I'd get one straight away - you need to know either way.