Ivs just cried down the phone to my manager

[BLTLover]

I'm so embarrassed. I've had a crap weekend with online dating and I've decided thats it I cant cope with it. My kids nursery is closed. I'm doing a course at uni and i turned up and i was turned away as I hadn't had a covid swab. The course is online and it's a nightmare. Fuck this shit

No theres no one else really. I was meant to have a date today but I cant be bothered.

Give up on OLD for now. You don’t have time, and it’s putting too much pressure on you. As well as that, who the fuck needs continual disappointment? Let that one go... you can pick it up again later, when you have time, and you’re happier - if you need to.
You are doing so much already, this course as well as study AND being a Mum. All this with the pressure of lockdown. I don’t even know you, and I’m so fucking proud of you!!! I’m in awe of your power. Being able to break down to your boss was actually one of your strengths, too. Give yourself a pat on the back for recognizing that you’re a human and something’s got to give. X

Thanks. I have given up online dating. He was the last one who had my number but he hasnt texted so I'll just leave it. It's my 1st childfree weekend in a month so I wanted plans but oh well

How about you do some things you can’t do with your child around? Bath with a glass of wine and an audiobook? Proper home mani pedi? Walk down to the supermarket and get a luxe dessert and eat the whole thing for dinner in front of Magic Mike with a hair treatment on?

I eat far too much sugar as it is. I'm surprised I'm not diabetic

Well.... Maybe make some veggie soup? (Not as much fun!)

I spend so much time alone. I love my own company but even for me this is too odd

Alone is a double-edged sword. Nothing worse than the loneliness of an unhappy relationship.

I was in an unhappy marriage and that was hell. I'm so glad to be away from that crap but being alone or with my 3 year old 70 percent of the time is hard

I'm never the priorty. I'm thr 3rd wheel. Never the one people pick 1st. Never anyones bridesmaid. Even in my marriages his job or his family or the gym came 1st whilst I paid for everything and wanted to have an affair I was so bored

This is your depression talking, so don't make any big decisions until you have weaned over to cut slip ram from sertraline and see if this works for you. Your DD will be more demanding of your time because she sees you unhappy . Everything will be 100% better once your depression is under control. If citalopram isn't the right one after a month go back to the gp.
Use your free weekend to firstly rest and then to catch up on uni work or something around the house. Go for a walk, eat something you love. Making yourself physically active will release endorphins which will help n the short term. It is tough, but you can do this when you are well. Once you are well you won't even remember what it was like to be so fed up.
All the best.

I hate being a parent. It's too much work.

I get you, OP, I really do.

Tries to go for a run I couldn't be arsed