There's something I want to do which requires a small move of location. (Not in UK!)
I feel that once I get there it'll be enriching and lovely - I feel at an instinctive level it's a great move, that it could open so many possibilities and ways of thinking/being. But every time I think of doing one of the steps to get there - eg sending an accommodation enquiry, or even envisioning eventually getting in my car and driving there - I get this overwhelming sense of foreboding. Literally a physical, visceral No. I have talked myself and thought myself into coming so close to making one of the aforementioned steps, but, consistently, that body level reaction has stopped me. It's like a kind of burning sensation in my body if that doesn't sound too weird!
I've hardly any time left to decide, and I feel kind of paralysed and the paralysis feels awful - like I'm watching the window of opportunity close in slow motion, like watching a car crash I can do nothing about; and I can't help but reprimand my lack of courage or being a scaredy cat, and a what seems (another, contradictory!) gut level instinctive sense that things, and very possibly my life course, will fester, or at least be very much less nourished, without this opportunity, and I shall always regret it.
I can't seem to separate out which feeling I should follow!
I wondered whether anyone has any thoughts or went through anything with similar feelings involved, and how you sorted the feelings and look back at the outcome in retrospect, even if your situation was vastly different.