How many kids you wanted when younger vs now

[BellamyBells]

Inspired by another thread.

I grew up in the 90s in London. In my friendship group (mixed, so some very wealthy and some working class) most of my friends were one of 3 of 4 kids! I think a lot of the mums were SAHMs which is obviously less common now (not saying this is a bad thing! Just a very marked change). Also houses way less affordable now haha, everything more expensive in general and everyone having kids later in life. So nowadays my friendship groups are choosing not to have kids or they have one or 2. I dont know anyone having more than 2!

As a kid I assumed I would have 3 or 4. I'm currently still on one but hoping for a second!

Did you end up doing what you thought?

When I was a kid I assumed I'd have 2 because that's what everyone did (I was born mid 90s so slightly younger than you). Now I'm thinking 1 is enough

I wanted 3.

After DS was born I realised I didn't want any more. Pregnancy and the baby stage was too hard.

As a child in school I always said I didn't want any at all. Met DH at 18 and for some reason at 20 a flip just switched and I decided I wanted a child asap. We had to wait a few years for various practical reasons, we both knew we wanted at least 2 with a 'we'll see', mentality about any more. I'm pregnant with no.2 now. I think unlikely we will have more for financial reasons but not ruling it out for now.

Wanted - 0
Had - 3

Happy to have a fourth, but I'm 45 so unlikely!

Never wanted any, don't have any (I'm in my 40s).

Didn't want any through teens and twenties. Had one DC in my 30s and very happy with one.

Wanted 4. Dh agreed (eventually) to compromise with 3 but I couldn’t get pregnant a third time so now we just have the two. I’m so grateful for the children I have but do feel sad that I couldn’t have more.

@Arewenearly

I was definitely, in no way, shape or form having children. No way.

I have 2

Sounds very familiar! Are you me?

I always wanted 4, mainly because I would have loved more siblings when I was growing up. Now I'd be happy just to have one.

Always said I didn’t want children. Met my now dh at just turned 18 and had ds1 at just turned 21.
Now have three dc.
Would have happily stick at one but decided when ds1 was 3 to try for number 2 who came along when ds1 was 4.5 and dc3 was a surprise.

There was a point when the youngest was small that I thought about having another but she was dead against it and so got a vasectomy as that was my answer. If he really didn’t want another, I was done being on the pill so it was his responsibility to do something about it.

Always imagined myself having 2.
Didn't feel 'finished' at 2 so we had a 3rd.
If we were making the decision now (rather than 12 years ago), we'd probably have stopped at 2 for environmental reasons.

Wanted 0
Have 1

Definitely no more

I wanted 3. I am from a family of 3 and so is husband. But we have 2. It was probably the right number. But sometimes.....

Wanted 0
Have 1

Never wanted any and had 2 , both now adult and I’m not fussed about having grandchildren either .

I wanted 6.
I have 1 and it’s increasingly looking like it will be an only.

Age 16 I wanted 6!
Age 30 I wanted 3 by age 36

I have 3 (two are twins) - I have 2 more embryos frozen from IVF and would happily transfer them - i feel like having 4 would complete our family (not sure DH would agree through 🤣!)

Didn’t want any. Now have one and seriously considering a second!

I wanted none. Ended up with two. 1st husband didn't want a second after DD1. We divorced when DD1 was 6.I remarried and had DD2 who is now DS, but that's a whole other story.

Wanted two when I was younger - just replicating my family set up really. Now I want 3, but DH and I are taking it one child at a time! (First is currently 7 months)

I wanted 3 because I'm one of 3 and loved it - I have 2.

I go back and forth on a 3rd - some days I think "wouldn't it be lovely" but then I remember that there's nobody missing from our family and I don't actually want another one 😆

@Ilovechoc12

Wanted none - loved working partying round London and nice holidays Got 4 now 🤪

Haha! Do you feel you miss out on a lot of that now?

I sometimes think I'd love 4, then I think 2 with holidays would be tempting.

I wanted two and DH wanted two, maybe three. Had two. Happy with two. There won’t be a third, which both of us are happy with.

I was about 14 when I first thought ‘that sounds awful’ and decided never to have kids

DH and I will both turn 31 in a few weeks and we don’t have children. Occasionally we discuss it and we’ve both said it might be nice to have one in a few years, but I think in those moments we’re looking at it like ‘having a kid would be cute on Christmas morning’ when I think about the day to day work that having a child involves, I really don’t want one. Maybe I’ll borrow one for Christmas