Problems in reception DD

[backinthedhss]

I just wanted to pick jive mind. DD started reception this year. Obviously missed a lot, but she's formed a close friendship with a girl who was at nursery with her.

The girl is very dominating. She doesn't let my daughter play with anyone else and says she's mean if she does. I get the impression that she finds comfort in the exclusivity of one person.
The girl in question had a similar friendship in nursery with another child and the two were separated when reception started. Incidentally these two girls would never let my dd join in at nursery.

My DD obviously gets something out of this friendship. She has fun with her. She always talk about this one girl but also says that she isn't allowed to play with anyone else and that it's like this child has hypnotised her.

We've spoken to the teacher who is very aware of the situation and has tried to do things to help. But they gravitate to each other and have fun, so there's only so much the teacher can do at this point.

If anyone has been through similar, does it resolve as they go up the school? If not should we think of trying to ask the school to put anything else in place?

I don't want my DD early relationships to be over shadowed by an element of coercive control.

We’ve had this a bit but until now it wasn’t an issue as there were only 4 girls in the class. This year, there are 11 and they’re all trying to find their place.
Invite others over.
Encourage and teach her to play games which need more than one person.
Suggest she plays with others so she still has someone to play with if this girl is ill.
Talk to the mum, what does her daughter say.

Also teach her how to respond. My DD went clumsily with “you can’t play, I’m playing with M”. Friend upset.
I told her to rephrase it and say “M and I are playing this, do you want to join in.”

How many classes are there and when do they mix? If they mix classes for next year I might be tempted to ask if they could be split. They’d probably still see each other at playtime but it might take the intensity out a little.

If you know parents of any other girls in the class I’d also be arranging park meet ups over Easter and eventually play dates (once allowed) with other children to try and broaden her social circle.

Don’t worry about your daughter she will pull away from the other child and make other friends. However from experience the dominant child will go thru various other children in a similar pattern. It’s probably best it happens within ks1 as in KS2 the dominant child is likely to develop bullying traits and become a little mean.

Thanks all for coming back with suggestions.

It's so hard because of the pandemic I don't really know many other parents, and my daughter really hasn't expanded her friendship group so I've struggled to reach out. I did try before the new lockdown, and we went to the playground. Seemed to go really well, but once they're back at school the usual dynamic of dd and this girl continues.

I'll keep trying to reach out.

It's a big school with other classes but they don't generally mix them.