Just does not do as she is told!

[Justdowhatyouweretold]

I'm at the end of my teather!

DD is 9 and really pushing my boundaries. She is rude, she doesn't listen, she refuses to do her homework and reading.

She gets told off and will perhaps get told to go to her room but she flatly refuses. She literally does nothing I ask until such time as I lose my temper. She pushes and pushes and pushes and I really don't know where to go next.

Even just reading 1 chapter of her school book means she fucks about for as long as humanly possible. She demands that we sit with her whilst she reads (in her head). Often she reads when we are just tidying away after tea. She refuses to read earlier and just puts it off.

I feel she is controlling as she will only do things if we sit there like a lemon whilst she does it.

We have explained that if she is to do what she needs to do it leaves us more time to spend together doing other things. But that there are times that we need to do other things like tidy up and cook dinner etc.

No way should you sit next to her while she reads at that age. She's trying to control you. I'd give her a time when you're happy to sit reading or on your phone while she does some work - I'd choose a time I could do consistently - but I would not have her dictating to me the rest of the time.

Yes she is definitely controlling the more I think about it. It drives us both up the wall.

DH had a lot more patience than me so she plays on him so much more. It takes a lot to make him upset but daily at the moment he is getting cross with her.

What does she like the most? It's gone untill shes done her homework / reading.

In our house its tech time. It's amazing how that homework gets done when he risks losing it vs the whining and 'I'm too tired' and 'I dont know how to do it ' when he was allowed to have it before. It's the same with anything no play dates, no trips to the park, no going swimming ect untill it's done
Hes just turned 9 but yep they can be pretty good at pushing buttons.

It's definitely tech she wants, she is so different without it.

She barely has it anymore though as she keeps losing her screen time.

It may be that shes looking for attention ( same problem we have with ours)
So we prioritise quality time and tell him this. So when your finished your homework we will play cards together or we will do some baking. That way your replacing the negative attention with positive

@Aimee1987 I very much suspect you are right. The problem is that she makes herself so unpleasant to be around it means we don't always want to.

She gets plenty of time with us, and often those times we aren't with her is because she is off playing on mine raft or Roblox.

But definitely point noted, we do probably need to involve her in things.

She likes baking but will get bored and walk away half way through.