Lonely FTM. If you had a heavy baby please talk to me!

[Tokyo2004]

My DS is 8.5 months and in the top percentile and I'm a FTM. He is wearing clothes for 2yo and is very heavy! (He was born in top percentile so no change). Due to Covid I've never met any other new mums or babies, and our health visitor didn't visit either. I spend the whole time googling things because I have nothing to compare to and I've no idea if I'm doing it right. So I'd love to hear a few comparisons with other mums who have or had big babies to see if my DS is developing 'normally' and if there are any useful tips or hacks for having a big baby that I can find out about!

At the moment he is nowhere near crawling. Fine sitting up etc but doesn't really do much during tummy time?- just flaps his arms and legs like a frog on its belly! My DH suggested it might be because he's so heavy? Is there any link between weight and crawling development?

He is drinking 3 massive bottles a day (he is FF after BF problems), so a huge 400ml bottle before morning nap, lunch nap and bed. (Usually takes full bottle, sometimes stops at 300ml). Never seems hungry for milk first thing in the morning. Due to sleep regression he's suddenly also been waking up for feeds 3 x a night but will take about 100ml. He used to wake up only once a night. Again is this normal? (Quantities and frequency?) This is alongside 3 meals a day obviously.

I'm also confused about how and when to be weaning him off the milk. NHS website is so vague.

Finally my back is so sore all the time from lifting him. I gave up using our sling months ago as I could barely walk with it. We were thinking about getting one of those very structured carriers you wear on your back like a rucksack for walks as it might be easier for a heavy baby. Has anyone got any tips around this?

Thanks so much!

Bumping

My first wasn't particularly big but at 8.5 months she was sitting up but not doing anything else, not even rolling. She never crawled and went straight to walking at about 15 months.
I don't think there is a link between weight and crawling because their muscles are built to propel their own body so will be just right for their own weight.

My DC wasn't as big as your ds, but they didn't really move until just before the first birthday, same for talking. Was weaned at about 6 months. Stopped having afternoon naps at about 1, refused to use a pram after 18 months.

Posted too soon!
We also had a very lightweight carrier as I am very small and struggled to carry the normal ones for any length of time with the baby in it. I'll try and find a similar link online.
Finally the food thing, as you introduce more food in bigger quantities, he should need less milk and will gradually drop the milk.
Hopefully someone else who has weaned more recently than me will come along with some more helpful advice!

My second dc was 10lb 10oz. He crawled for a long time and then walked at 18 months. I can’t remember how many bottles he was taking at your baby’s age but he was mainly bf. Would your health visitor chat over the phone?

I had a heavy baby, she was late-ish to crawl and walk, around 15 months to walk. I also remember struggling to get her into or out of a baby carrier by around 9 months, which was a pain. Just got a pram though, I think the rigid carriers would have been equally difficult to lift her into. Later on I couldn't lift her into a supermarket trolley seat! She was overweight when she started school but at 10 is now slim. My only hack would be just don't worry about it.

My son was 4.3kg when he was born and carried on being very big. Re the milk - as long as you don’t coax him to finish, should be okay. Milk is more useful for him than other food at this age.

A friend had a sort of shelf thing that went round her waist to make carrying her son a bit easier. I’ll Google.

Babies are all different.
My DN was simialr size to your ds.
He had a huge appetite.

My dd was on 25 th to 50th centile. Ate loads too all homemade . Walked at 9m.

However my ds 14m is tiny. 19lb. Eats NOTHING other than yoghurts and a few baby dish foods.. He is no where near where dd was at his age.

If you're concerned maybe call you HV. but if he's not hungry for his morning milk. Drop it.
Maybe make smaller bottles especially if he's eating 3 meals a day

As for the night. My teen was like thay as a baby. I literally just made tiny bottles he wasn't hungry it was habit.

If your baby carrier is hurting your back, it's not on correctly.
I found the massive walking rucksacks awful and really uncomfortable.
Get a structured carrier (I recommend the ergo 360) which spreads the weight over your waist and hips.

Don't worry about crawling, they all do it in their own time.

My now 10yo was so heavy, didn’t walk until 18 months and didn’t crawl until after his first birthday (he was very frustrated).

I couldn’t use a sling after a few months, it was just so uncomfortable, and ended up having arms of steel for years. He also didn’t blooming potty train until he was nearly 4 🤦🏻‍♀️

He also ate very well!!!!

Now, not to brag just to reassure, he’s so lean now. He’s still heavy - I think it’s his head and his bones 🤣🤣 he still has a huge appetite.

I always told myself they pick their own time to develop and tried not to worry, but he was my second and I know it’s easier said than done! Maybe call your HV? X

My DS was born on the 50th, shot up to the 99.6th by 8 weeks. He crawled from 7 months and walked from 1 year so his weight definitely didn’t stop him moving. He was an extremely active toddler (and an extremely active child!) and is now slim, average height and weight for his age.

So from my own personal experience his weight didn’t stop him moving and hasn’t meant he is a bigger child.

Good suggestion with lots of tummy time.

Hello Tokyo
Blimey this thread takes me back
10lb 9oz DS...fortunately DC number 2 so I was a bit more confident.
Hoovered breast milk until 16 weeks. Day and night every 2 hours. Otherwise a doddle but the sleep deprivation was grim.
This was back when we all weaned at 16 weeks. Unlike older child (couldn’t really get her interested until 6 months) he got the idea within a day, rejected even the offer of latching on and wanted the mush. I had no idea what was going on but HV was pretty chill and just advised pumping for as long as I wanted and to keep going with solids.
Development wise, was STRONG and was somehow moving by 6 months, walked long before one year (ages ago, can’t remember exactly when). Hardly said a word until he was about three, though.
Sleep - I was back at work by 6 months and I cannot cope with sleep disturbance so lifted him at 10pm with a 240ml bottle of formula - he used to down it and go back to sleep. I was very happy to be a presence cotside after that, wouldn’t dream of withholding comfort from a baby, would pat a back and help settle but wouldn’t lift unless for a nappy change.
I really hope this thread has shown how different every baby is! Think of the adults around you - babies are adults in baby suits really.
DS is now hulking great young adult and has evolved from picky toddler to adventurous cook. Exams etc have all been fine.
Honestly can’t imagine what it must be like without the usual baby groups etc just to realise how different every baby is! You sound like you’re doing a great job.
Oh, and I am pretty strong and I binned the carrier etc. Got a really solid three wheel buggy long before they were A Thing. It was an absolute tank but massive DS in buggy and DD on a buggy board, at least I could get out.

Wow this is all really helpful, thank you. As @Fazabulous says, not having baby groups etc means I really feel in the dark about comparisons! This thread shows how hugely different they all are!!

It's scary and I do wish there was a manual! But so far we've done ok and he's a happy little thing so that's what matters! He seems to evolve into the next steps by himself without me pushing it (eg dropping 3rd nap, sleep routine etc) so I'm hoping that he will just start to need less milk naturally in the coming months without me needing to ration. I don't want to be the cause of an obese child and that's a worry but at the same time he's a big tall boy and if he's hungry he's hungry!

Re my back I think I'll just need to start doing Pilates and get stronger. He's not getting any lighter!

X