50/50 Care

[DavyCrocket]

Need some opinions please guys.

I've just talked at length with the ex about the prospect of changing our arrangements from flexible/ad hoc where we, split the children up on two of four weekends for solo time and the other two weekends they are together meaning each parent gets an empty weekend.

Currently one parent has the children living with them and is fifteen minutes walk from school and pretty much has all school activities. The other parent sees the children pretty much as described with zero contact in-between even though the children know they can see and speak to the other parent when ever they would like to. They just segment the time they have so time with one parent is best limited.

The proposition is to change to fifty fifty which would mean the children need a car journey to and from school on alternate weeks and this would take around 30-40 minutes in the morning and the same in the evening.

The children are 8 girl and boy 6.

The question is this and in general. Do you think the children would benefit in changing to a 50/50 arrangement?

No

It's difficult for us to say. It does sound as though they are not getting that much input and attention from one of the parents, and they may well benefit from more. After all, both parents will bring different skills and interests to the family which can benefit the kids. Against that, currently they have one home and having two may be discombobulating. Being further away from school is not ideal, it makes play dates etc more difficult, but not impossible. Will the parent who currently sees them less truly step up and add to their lives?

The parent that sees them less would have no choice but to step up. This is one of the reasons to change. Stepping up is impossible without the fifty fifty arrangement and they're not significant enough on their lives. The daughter is really struggling with the relationship whereas the son is zoning out.

I don't see how a parent couldn't step up if they increase the living arrangements. It would be impossible but to, wouldn't it?