Random weird things your parents say/believe

[Zofloramummy]

Just rang my mum and dad for a chat and Happy Mother’s Day. We got talking about Nazanin Zaghari-Radcliffe being called back to court. I told them about the link with the money allegedly owed Iran from Britain in the early seventies. They then tried to figure out who would have been PM and told me it was Neil Kinnock!!!

I said as far as I am aware he has never been PM in this country. They argued he was and it would be news to him that he hadn’t been!

What random facts/beliefs do your parents have that you can’t argue (despite knowing the truth)

My mum once said that unicorns were extinct rather than mythical.

My mum used to say 'a piece of cheese between her knees and chitlings round her hat' if the word cheese or hat came up and she'd laugh
I've no idea what that was about
She would've been 92 now

My mum is, and has been for many years, convinced that my DD is a “poor eater”. It’s completely not true; she was always, since being a baby, keen to try different food and has always had a decent appetite. Despite this, every time her name comes up in connection with food or mealtimes, out comes “...she’s always been a poor eater”. I’ve given up arguing.

That Lucozade will cure any ailment. COVID-19 made you ill? Have Lucozade. Arm fallen off? Have Lucozade.
I told them once that it’s not going to help anymore than Coca-Cola and they were angry and wouldn’t believe me.

Mine have always sworn by homeopathy, and I suffered it my whole life. A while back my son was prescribed antibiotics for a serious post operative infection, DM was wittering on about belladona or something, I snapped, "don't think that's going to fix him right now though is it?!" First time in my life I ever challenged the whole thing, was a bit awkward. We're close, but you can't expect to agree on everything.

That there is NOTHING that can't be cured with a 'mug of hot sweet tea'. Nothing.

I don't mind a cup of tea but sweet tea? That would only make things worse!

We should leave the EU so we can take back our sovereignty and be great again while not being able to name a single law that needs to change.

Now we have left the EU, there is a conspiracy with China, they are 'up to something'. It's all so abstract.

My parents are anti Vaxxers. I went my whole childhood unprotected from serious childhood disease!
As soon as I was old enough to consent I went and got bloody everything. I felt so vulnerable as a kid though.
I asked them why they were anti Vax and apparently I went ‘funny’ after my first ever jab.
No medical issue noted on my records. Had jabs as an adult no issues at all.

My mother simply won’t believe that the Child of Prague is actually Jesus. She thinks he’s some entirely different saint.

My mum genuinely believes that gay people are only gay because they are too unattractive to find a partner of the opposite sex.

My friend Ryan is gag and exceptionally handsome. It is a source of eternal confusion to my mother that he cannot find a woman.

• gay