How do your weekends with your DH/DP look?

[TreeDice]

I've been having a chat with a friend going through a break up. One of her key issues is that she doesnt think he puts enough effort in and one of the examples she used was that over the weekend, the default for him would be up and out/doing his own thing. The issue wasnt that he wouldn't do things with her if she asked but that in her mind, his default/assumption should be spending time together because he should want to.

They live together with no DC.

Does your relationship work like that? You assume you'll be together all weekend unless something specific comes up?

And by weekend, I guess I mean any free time

I work weekend and he doesn’t so it’s very rare we spent it together. On the rare occasion we are together, we just go with the flow. If we have plan then great, if not great. If he’s busy and I’m not that’s also fine

Guess it depends what he is up and out doing and who with tbh

I don't live with my DP so we don't spend every minute together and tbh I wouldn't want to! I'm a strange sort though tbh!

Thanks Prisonbreak.

I think we're similar. In fact, our default is probably the other way around from my friend and I'm wondering whether we're the odd ones out!

Thanks CLPS.

There was no suspicion of cheating or anything like that but he'd get up on a Saturday morning, have breakfast and go and do his own thing in the garage/study/out and about. My friend took this as he didnt want to spend downtime with her and I've never thought about it like that ...

We don’t really have any set ideas of how the weekend is spent.
I’d be suffocated if dh thought we should spend every weekend together unless we had pre booked in plans.
We both like having the freedom.
We’ve obviously spent many weekends together (with the dc) at home this past year, we potter about doing our own thing really. We aren’t a very ‘coupley’ couple, don’t watch tv or films together anyway, no cuddling up on the sofa or whatever. We go out for walks if one of us suggests it and the other wants to.
But basically we’re both very independent (I don’t know if that’s the right word, what I mean is that we both have our different circles of friends and socialise with them more than we do each other), don’t spend too much time together even when both at home.
Works for us.
My friend says her dh gets stroppy if he’s watching a film and she’s reading a book, he likes her to be watching it with him. If he’s out in the garden he likes her to be out in the garden too. I find it weirdly controlling and it wouldn’t work for us but they seem happy.
People are different. Everyone’s relationships are different.

I think everyone is different but we have been married 12 years and we don’t really have a friendship group apart from people who we either chat to at work (dhs case) or who I occasionally have coffee with - my case. So for us we spend all weekend every weekend together and we like that. I was married to someone before who was very social and wanted to be out almost every day with friends and it drove me insane. I am very much an introvert and like a peaceful, homebody type life. Thankfully dh is the same. We have two dc, one has special needs and we just tend to do stuff as a family - go for walks, have lunch out, cinema (obviously pre Covid) etc.

I should say though that even though we are together a lot we both enjoy quiet space away from each other - we are very comfortable just sitting together pissing about on our phones in silence with the tv on or me going to bed early and dh watching a film downstairs etc.

Thanks all. I guess during a pandemic probably isnt the best time to be doing this thinking ...

My DP and I have set "together" dates/plans but outside of those, I'd probably say we assume we'll be doing our own thing separately than doing something together. Although sometimes we'll join in with one another watching a film/going out for a walk etc