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Does my gran need to see a doctor?

7 replies

isthisdementia · 14/03/2021 16:26

My aunt, age 85 . She’s fiercely independent . Lost her husband several years ago - this broke her and she’s never really recovered .

Every single time we speak to her; she’s depressed, lonely, unhappy, miserable, bored .

We have tried everything we can within restrictions . Several of us and go and see her anyway, she’s still driving (for now), she’s able to watch TV, use FaceTime and zoom, she’s able to read, she has a beautiful garden, lots of hobbies, magazine deliveries, we help with shopping, have offered to go for walks, we give her new recipes to try, sometimes I just pop her on FaceTime while I potter .... sometimes sleep over some nights .

She is very unhappy whatever we do - seems very angry and sad much of the time . She’s now started to argue, in a way that’s unusual for her - a bit disinhibited - and doing odd things like hoarding, that she’s never done before.

She’s also a big drinker - ie multiple litres a week .

My work hat is telling me she needs a GP review - either she’s depressed, or she’s at the beginning of dementia - either way, she needs a review .

Her parents died of Alzheimer’s . Afaik they were dead before they were her age .

She’s dividing up her possessions quite rapidly and talks often about dying, heaven, Jesus etc - it’s quite disconcerting as she talks as it it’s a bus trip she’s going on .

She needs a GP at minimum doesn’t she?

OP posts:
isthisdementia · 14/03/2021 16:29

Sorry, just realised I’ve typed wrong relative in the title!

OP posts:
partyatthepalace · 15/03/2021 08:39

Yes she does.

Need to try and improve things or it will take her faster into dementia. The drinking is going to be tough to stop, but at least you can get a GP review.

SnuggyBuggy · 15/03/2021 08:41

I'd go with your gut and get a GP to review her. It sounds like a really difficult situation.

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Dinkydody · 15/03/2021 10:43

She definitely needs a review. Thinking practically does she go to church? It’s not uncommon for anyone her age to think of their mortality. She sounds like she has some belief in God. If she hasn’t been to church in some time maybe you could connect her with one.

StoneColdBitch · 15/03/2021 13:19

At 85 it is rational to be aware of one's own mortality. She is going to die - we all are - her, probably in the next few years. I wouldn't pathologise that bit. I agree with a PP who suggested linking her in with a faith community if she is religious.

The low mood and excessive drinking are of concern. Older adults often develop depression, and depression can cause memory issues and confusion (particularly in this age group), so I think it would be sensible to speak to her GP about your concerns.

DownWhichOfLate · 15/03/2021 13:21

Drinking litres and still driving would be a cause for concern even without the other things. Yes, she needs help. Good luck.

Oldsu · 15/03/2021 13:33

She may need a review and it looks like she does but her GP will most likely say that any requests for one needs to come from her and may not be able to discuss anything with you due to confidentiality, maybe contract your local ageuk branch for advice

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