Anti vaxx family and feeling abandoned

123andwhereismyChoc · 2021-03-14T12:29:45+00:00

Did anyone grow up in an anti vaxx household? I think my dm was quite ‘progressive’ for her time if you can call it that. Spent a good part of my adult life catching up on vaccinations once I looked into everything. Had my covid jab 2 weeks ago and being told I’m probably ‘shedding’ so they won’t see me, that I need to do a ‘vaccine detox’ That I’ll probably be infertile now and just generally a load of shit. I know they are wrong. But it’s getting to me. Did anyone else grow up like this

Original poster

123andwhereismyChoc · 14/03/2021 12:31

It’s nearly as bad as when I had my catch up mmr 2 years ago
And I know I could do it and not tell them but I feel like I want to tell them because it annoys the hell out of me the stance they all have

OP posts:

partyatthepalace · 14/03/2021 12:42

I didn’t, but there is a lot of vaccine fear with this one, so I guess you won’t be on your own.

SunInTheSkyYouKnowHowIFeel · 14/03/2021 12:44

Wow. What a family OP. Well done for making your own mind up about vaccines and doing your own thing, must have been hard to break away from such strong propaganda from your family.

I wouldn't call your mums views 'progressive' though, since the fist vaccine was invested there have always been anti vaxxers & probably always will be. It's interesting hearing from someone growing up in this environment.

How do you feel about seeing them? I've seen a few posts from people reluctant to see in vaccinated family members, so wondering if you feel the same.

Hope things smooth out with your family soon. The vaccine detox sounds bonkers!

AmberItsACertainty · 14/03/2021 12:57

What happens when they say this sort of thing? Do you call them out on it? We're all entitled to our opinions but we must respect others rights to their opinions too.

They're not being respectful of your life choices. They could choose to keep their thoughts to themselves, you telling them you're being vaccinated doesn't require a response. Or they could try to be nice, say something like hope you don't get side effects or well you know we disagree so we won't be having it, then move on with the conversation. If they can't agree to be less confrontational and show respect for your choices your only options are to limit the information you give them or go further and limit how often you see/speak to them.

It's not about vaccinations it's about respect.

Original poster

123andwhereismyChoc · 14/03/2021 13:15

@SunInTheSkyYouKnowHowIFeel

Wow. What a family OP. Well done for making your own mind up about vaccines and doing your own thing, must have been hard to break away from such strong propaganda from your family.

I wouldn't call your mums views 'progressive' though, since the fist vaccine was invested there have always been anti vaxxers & probably always will be. It's interesting hearing from someone growing up in this environment.

How do you feel about seeing them? I've seen a few posts from people reluctant to see in vaccinated family members, so wondering if you feel the same.

Hope things smooth out with your family soon. The vaccine detox sounds bonkers!

Progressive as in she was ahead of her time (for all the wrong reasons)

It’s just a battle to get through to anyone. Even more so explaining that I do actually have a kind of my own and haven’t been brainwashed

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RosemarysCat · 14/03/2021 13:17

Wtf is shedding?

Frazzled2207 · 14/03/2021 13:18

Blimey how upsetting. Well done for making up your own mind and doing 100% the right thing.
Hopefully in the future you can just agree to disagree and not discuss it. I’d find it very hard though. I can almost not bare to be in the same room as someone who supports brexit.

Original poster

123andwhereismyChoc · 14/03/2021 13:19

@AmberItsACertainty

What happens when they say this sort of thing? Do you call them out on it? We're all entitled to our opinions but we must respect others rights to their opinions too.

They're not being respectful of your life choices. They could choose to keep their thoughts to themselves, you telling them you're being vaccinated doesn't require a response. Or they could try to be nice, say something like hope you don't get side effects or well you know we disagree so we won't be having it, then move on with the conversation. If they can't agree to be less confrontational and show respect for your choices your only options are to limit the information you give them or go further and limit how often you see/speak to them.

It's not about vaccinations it's about respect.

I just get told how I’m blindly following I have asked her was she not scared when I was little ? That I’d end up seriously ill ? Apparently not - and even her gp agreed with her 😖

It’s just infuriating and all I’ve had today is stuff sent to me about blood clots and covid vaccine but I’ve pointed out there’s no link found yet there is an actual and massive like to actual covid and blood clots but it’s like arguing with a brick wall

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Original poster

123andwhereismyChoc · 14/03/2021 13:20

@RosemarysCat

Wtf is shedding?

Oh goodness ‘shedding’ apparently this happens with vaccines ‘especially the flu one’ and if I go near any of them after it I could shed the vaccine strain near them 🤯

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Original poster

123andwhereismyChoc · 14/03/2021 13:22

@Frazzled2207

Blimey how upsetting. Well done for making up your own mind and doing 100% the right thing. Hopefully in the future you can just agree to disagree and not discuss it. I’d find it very hard though. I can almost not bare to be in the same room as someone who supports brexit.

It just upsets me and I feel very grateful I managed to avoid the risks as a child. It could have gone so wrong though if I’d caught something and been really ill

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Original poster

123andwhereismyChoc · 14/03/2021 13:25

If anyone was part of a family like this I want you to know there are catch up programmes for all missed vaccinations

My gp was brilliant. It’s a massive inconvenience though but finally up to date with it all

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IndecentCakes · 14/03/2021 13:25

The C19 vaccine isn't 'live'. It's possible to shed a live vax in stuff like poo, say, a dirty nappy.
I'm guessing the OP's mom isn't still changing her, but even if she was, all's well ;)

Original poster

123andwhereismyChoc · 14/03/2021 13:30

@IndecentCakes

The C19 vaccine isn't 'live'. It's possible to shed a live vax in stuff like poo, say, a dirty nappy. I'm guessing the OP's mom isn't still changing her, but even if she was, all's well ;)

Oh she thinks all vaccines ‘shed’ and the worst ‘is the nasal flu’ so each when my dc had it she was going on and on it was ridiculous

I know you have to be careful with the rotavirus ones for babies but that’s it I think and washing hands is hardly a big deal. She makes it out like they were all mobile porton down units

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TrufflyPig · 14/03/2021 13:38

We're all entitled to our opinions but we must respect others rights to their opinions too

I have very little respect for anti vaxx opinions (not even sorry about that) so it must be hard for OP to hear this from family members.

I have a colleague who grew up with a mother like this OP, her dad had her vaccinated in secret and to this day the mother doesn't know. She just doesn't keep her in the loop when it comes to vaccinations for herself and her children.

It does seem toxic that they are saying things like 'you'll probably be infertile now', is going no contact until the dust settles an option OP?

candycane222 · 14/03/2021 14:13

Yeah, I really wouldn't be talking ethem about this, I think you've made your position very clear and chances are if you sow doubt in their minds with, you know, actual facts, they will have just enough discomfoyprovoked to send them on yet another hunt for alternative "facts". They'll just double down. I really doubt if there is anything you can do apart from steer clear of the subject. If they showed any curiosity or self-doubt it might be different, but as it is,they sound deeply deeply invested in this stance , and doubtless delighted that numerous more recent ",converts" are coming round to theit poingt of view. I think you should be kind to yourself and not even mention the subject (and refuse to discuss it). It will only upset you, without making anything any better.

murbblurb · 14/03/2021 14:33

Well done for escaping your neglectful parents and not being brainwashed by their foolishness. They clearly ignored any schooling and have no reasoning or critical thinking skills. 'detox' - don't they know any basic biology?

Cut off and live your life free as you deserve.

AmberItsACertainty · 16/03/2021 18:27

OP try saying to them you've done your research, you're happy with your decision and you won't be discussing it with them any more. They don't have to agree with your opinion/decision but they do have to respect it.

You can respect their opinions by asking them how long they think you'd be shedding for and agreeing not to meet up with them during that period. Or, after you've had the vaccine and assuming they know the date, just asking if you should come see them and letting them decide each time, if they think you're shedding they'll say no.

If they won't respect your decision not to talk about it with them, then I'd end the conversation/visit every time it happens. They'll learn that if they want your company they'll need to respect you, if they won't respect you your relationship will break down and you'll end up almost NC. It'll be their choice, although they'll blame it on you. Disrespectful families are awful.