Finding mothers day hard

[tigerbread20]

My DM died of sudden cardiac arrest 2 weeks ago, no warning, otherwise fit and well and only 53.
Since then I've avoided the shops, emails and online shopping as to not be reminded of what day it is tomorrow. I was really holding it together as have 2 young DC who are excited and have made cards and gifts etc at nursery, but today its hit me, I can't stop crying and I'm really really missing her. I don't know how I'm going to get through tomorrow and go and see MIL (in our bubble) when I just want to hug my own mum or sit and cry by myself. Does it get easier? Or is every year going to be this hard
Thinking of everyone else who finds it hard for whatever reason

DH lost his mum aged 18, and he still finds Mothers Day hard

I'm so so sorry for your loss . Go easy on yourself and don't make yourself do anything you're uncomfortable with.

I lost my eldest son to cancer aged 18 seven years ago. Lost my mum to cancer the following year. I still find Mothers Day hard, I don't have my mum and nor do I feel like a full mum as one of my children is missing.

It's not so raw as it was. There are harder days. But I try and ignore the adverts/ shops/posts on Facebook. I try not to think too hard about it.

It's such very early days for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. 53 is such a young age (my age) and you should have had more time with your mum.

Your children will want to spoil you. You are grieving for your Mum. It's a very tricky road to journey on. Be gentle on yourself.

Oh and I'd let your OH take the children to see your MIL. Use that time alone to be be alone.

I’m so sorry, that must have been a huge shock to you to lose your Mum at such a young age. It’s only been 2 weeks, no wonder you’re finding tomorrow so hard. I agree in letting your DH take the children to MiL tomorrow. Stay at home and have some alone time. I doubt that you’ve had any of that with two young children and sometimes you need it to collect your thoughts and grieve. Be kind to yourself and rest up. Light a candle for your Mum, cuddle up on the sofa, have a good cry, do whatever you need to.
It will get better although it’s a long and lonely road getting there and just when you think you’re doing ok grief can come out of nowhere and catch you out. I always describe it as a punch in the stomach that takes your breath away.
It’s 6years since Dad died, I find the few weeks in the lead up to special dates the worst, whereas the day itself passes ok. Two weeks is no time at all, I think I was still in shock at that point and for a few months after.
I strongly recommend you read the threads on the bereavement topic. I took comfort from the experiences and comments from posters. They described exactly how I was feeling and gave fantastic advice and that was so comforting. It really helped me through as I felt very much alone, grief is such a horrible feeling and no one can share it with you, it’s all yours, I didn’t feel DH had a clue how I felt.
Sending you love

Sent DH off with the kids to MIL and I'm snuggled in bed with a pot of tea.
I think it's a case of getting through today rather than making it a mother's day like we are used to.

glad you are taking time for yourself today. Thinking of you

And my own dear late mother , especially today.

I'm sorry OP. This must be such a hard time for you.

In my experience it does get easier but it takes time. I also find the build up to significant days is much worse than the actual day itself.

Having said that I had a bit of a sob last week because I wanted to buy my DM a mother's day card but couldn't.

I'm so sorry op. I lost my mum 8 years ago and lost my dad in Jan. Mum was ill but her death still came as a shock. I can't imagine how awful it must feel to lose your mum out of the blue so young. Please look after yourself. It gets easier eventually but take each day, or year, as it comes

For me, Mother’s Day is about my mum. All I want is to go to her grave and put some daffodils down.