Are you happy with how your life has turned out?

[lionmouse1]

Just thinking about this I'm mid 40s good job but should really be at a higher level. Ok house but nothing special husband is kind but tendency to be a bit grumpy and has lost his get up and go
Amazing dc but wish we had more.
A few nice friends but no one really close
Amazing parents but haven't seen them for so long
So all ok but feel I could have done better!

Most importantly we are all healthy and that's the man thing I know so very grateful for that

Hahaha, no.

But I never stood a chance really. Crap parents who used to laugh at me for showing any emotion, no encouragement, always told I was crap at every thing, bullied for some reason or other throughout school by pupils and teachers.

By the age of 15 I'd already had enough of life. I got married to the first person who would have me when I was 21 as I just didn't want to be alone anymore.

I'm 41 and I've really tried at times to do something with my love.. But everything I've ever tried I've failed at.

I went back to college at 33 but as it turns out that was a waste of time. I was so proud of myself as I smashed it, got the highest marks they had ever seen. Turns out it was a btec that, as a teacher acquaintance put it, "the thick kids at school who we know will fail GCSEs are told to do" as she fell about laughing at me. Oh, and it didn't help, turns out I could have just done the minimum wage care work without it.

I find life a relentless slog. I try to be positive but honestly, every year just gets worse and brings a new set of problems.

I look at my life and fucking laugh sometimes. It's relentless. Everytime I try to improve things I get knocked down in some way.

In almost every way, yes, have been very lucky and privileged - parents who loved me and looked after me, able to earn my living all my working life, great extended family, loads of friends, the best DP I could wish for for the last 20 years, v nice house in an area I (mostly) enjoy, retired at 60 due to financial luck . . but having been very healthy all my life, I was diagnosed with cancer in 2019 and the future is very uncertain. Despite that, I know I have still been very fortunate.

Yes, I am. On paper my life is not desirable to most people but I love it.

Parent of one DC and I'm single. Very happy being single and don't want a partner. DC's dad is involved and a good father. We get on great. I don't want any more children.

Own my own house, just a 2 bed semi but I don't desire a big house. Mortgage is small as housing is cheap here, I am lucky.

Don't have a "career" type job and don't want one. I'm low paid but my outgoings are also very low so we don't struggle and I have enough spare money for treats, holidays, days out. Work/life balance is great, I do my job and forget about it when I leave for the day.

Most importantly I have good health, a great family and great friends. I have a really good social life (in non Covid times) and get plenty of down time from parenting when DS goes to his dad's house.

I'm only early 30s so maybe I need more life experience but every day I'm grateful for how lucky I am to be so happy. I have wonderful children, loving supportive hardworking husband, I've never suffered with mental health problems of any kind or any I'll health. In the two days before my period I get anxious that it will all come crashing down at some point because maybe I dont deserve to be so happy

I was thinking yesterday that my biggest regret in life is not seeing Oasis live. So I guess that shows I've made the right choices

I constantly plan for the future though and I'm not the sort of person who falls into a career or relationship. Any time I've not felt satisfied or fulfilled I've done something to change it.

There are obviously things out of my control I wish were different. Losing my DM to a horrible disease before her time is one.

If I take the whole thing as a package, defo. Lovely kids, lovely area to live in, happy with our house, nice friends. Day to day life a bit groundhog day due to COVID but that's temporary.

If I look at individual aspects -

Wish I had a different relationship with my mum. OTOH, it's not bad, it's just confusing. And I think part of the reason it's odd is distance but I love everything else about living here - just wish I didn't feel guilty about family.

Wish I had studied differently after school and been able to get more qualified and had better paid jobs. OTOH lucky to be able to (just about!) live off DH's income and have somewhat of a plan for going forward. I do feel a bit frustratingly like I could be using this time differently and I will regret it in the future, but I need to be in the future to be able to look back and see what I should have been doing!

Could have a better relationship with DS1. OTOH, it's OK from his side, which is the part that matters. I just wish I was a bit less shit and lazy and felt more enthusiastic about spending time with him.

Would love to be closer to my friends. Miss having the kind of friends you can just drop in on at a moment's notice. Would love to have couple/family friends and DH is not the most sociable. OTOH, I have hopes that post-COVID will be a time we can reevaluate those connections and strengthen the important ones.

I would like to have my ADHD a bit more under control and contribute to the house being nice rather than being the main cause of destruction in it most of the time!

No. Would happily be shot of it TBH.

It depends where I look at it from. From when I was in my early 20s and planning what I wanted to do, no, not at all. From ten years ago, when I was an addict and homeless having been forced into prostitution by an "ex" then yes, the life I've got now is better than I could have ever imagined, and it's beautiful, even though all it is really is a council flat and being a single parent.

Yes, I am so grateful for my life. A great DH who I genuinely like. Two wonderful kids that I’m so proud of. Nice home. A fab circle of lovely friends who I see a lot of.

And now my DB and his partner are moving back here from the other side of the world, for good.

I lost both my parents relatively young, so there are some things missing. But I’m so grateful for how things have turned out, grateful to them for the love and stability they provided. And keep wondering when / if things will go wrong. 😬 I’m late 40s.

Yes.. I could be smug, and write about all the good things in my life, but I’m very aware they have only come about through a very large dollop of luck. Yes, DH and I have worked hard, but we have also had good fortune.

On paper yes. In reality not really. Have the high paid job, husband (who I love less each day), nice home but constantly being ruined by a man child who is a disgusting slob, no real close friends, family a bit all dysfunctional but I'm trying to make amends on that as the last year I've felt so lonely.

Have one DC who is the only sunshine in my life but wracked with anxiety that his future is bleak and I'm not giving him the best in life.

Desperately want to leave DH and honestly can't stand the sight of him. So no life could be a lot better.

This time last year, yes. I had a lovely, happy life.

But in the last 12 months I’m going through divorce due to an affair I would never have considered a possibility, bereavement and the loss of my job due to covid.

It’s scary how quickly things can fall apart. I’m so sad inside right now but putting my brave face on for the world and trying to survive day by day.

I'm 62 and very happy. Yet I didn't have the career that I'd hoped for - just "a job" really, nothing special. House is small but is all that we need these days. Two grown-up DCs who give me a lot of joy, and four DGCs who give me even more. Lovely DH who came into my life when I was 49 and who makes me very happy.

A lot of my old friends are gone, either moved far away or left this earth. So I'm happy for just being here now !

I'm 35 and I don't have the big house, lovely husband, high paid job, or 2.5 children... I could have had all that but I walked away from it because it didn't feel right for me. I've never wanted to be mother; I found having a big house to be a chore; and I've eschewed high paying jobs in favour of lower paid charity work where it feels I'm making a difference. Since I was a little girl I've always aimed to live with simplicity; only taking what I need, and trying to have fewer and fewer posessions because the planet can't handle it. Balance, wisdom and integrity are the values that I've chosen to orient my life around, rather than external measures like a nice car. I feel like I fall short every day, and yet that's also part of the quest. The closer I move towards living my values the more content I feel. At 35 I can see how my life choices have led me to where I am now. It feels difficult to go against the grain of society's expectations, but I feel a huge amount of contentedness in my exploring, learning and growth. I realise that I've always been very impatient to 'achieve' and now I am more interested in exploring each day, each action, each decision as it comes. It feels like life is a dance between what our soul craves and the circumstances in which we find ourselves. It changes moment to moment and constantly renews. There's a grace to be found in the interplay... and that's the bit I'm aiming for in life. There's a long way to go, and yet there's also no where to get to! Life is beautiful and perplexing indeed.

I’m 50 and still feel like I’m getting there.

Awful parents, neglect and abuse. Despite that, did well and school and now have a really good and fulfilling career. 2 DCs who I adore. Some good friends, though have also realised during COVID that not all my relationships are healthy.

Came out an emotionally abusive marriage 18 months ago after 15 hellish years. Have a lovely house now, but still picking myself up emotionally and financially. DS has anxiety issues from his time when we lived as a family.

Overall some bits have played out as I hoped - the kids, the job, the house sort of - but I’m still working on the rest. Life is a journey, right?!

Yes. I have a beautiful ds, a wonderful husband, lovely house, we're all healthy and financially comfortable.
I wish I could just get pregnant again though.

I, and my kids, are healthy.
I'm financially okay, although this is still something which I'm (unreasonably I think) concerned about.
I live in a nice house, in an area I enjoy.
My parents live nearby, are in reasonably good health still and we have a close and mutually enjoyable relationship. I miss spending time with them at the moment due to covid.
I've got a few good friends, who have proven through some life difficulties that they are there to support me - and I hope I can do the same for them if needs be.
I have a couple of hobbies I enjoy (normally - dog agility is hopefully restarting soon, not sure about bridge club 😕).
I work part time in a job I enjoy and am valued by my bosses and juniors (and peers I think but I don't actually know that).
I've travelled fair amount and been to a number of places people mention as bucket-list.

Life hasn't always worked out how I'd have liked it to though, mainly with regard to romantic partners.
1st H left our marriage when the kids were young and 2nd DH died before our 1st wedding anniversary.

Generally, yes I'm happy (but I do miss DH).

Yes, incredibly. Love my job, adore my DH, have as many children as I wanted and they are just fabulous; the lights of my life. Coming out of the baby and toddler stage now so things are getting easier and we’re making lots of plans for this summer to do all the things we’ve missed out on over the last year! Moved last year to our forever house, will have to extend at some point but v happy here and totally fine for us for now. Have had some shit times and I’m always busy and tired but I know I’m so, so lucky. Have a deep sense of contentment and while I sometimes wish for a bit more time for me, I never truly wish to change anything at all. Quite the opposite - sometimes I get that squeezy heart feeling knowing how much I’m going to miss these times one day ❤️

I am happily married, have our own large detached house (with a manageable mortgage due to the area) and have DC2 on the way. In a normal year, we would have 2 abroad holidays plus 1 in the UK seeing family. I drive a 5yo estate car and love it. I have a number of hobbies that I enjoy, although DS/COVID have temporarily put a hold on them or stopped me doing as much as I would like.

I'm not career driven, but I have a job that pays well enough, is interesting (although frequently frustrating) and I can forget about at 5pm. There are plenty of opportunities for development, but I'm not interested in management and the stress that brings. I would rather a smaller pay packet and a better work/life balance right now, maybe I'll feel differently when the DC are older.

I think the majority of humans are intrinsically never happy. We always want more more more. That's what has driven us out of caves and ruined the planet, I guess.

Oh man I didn't even mention "stuff" in my response. People mentioning houses.

I have nothing. I own nothing but a few shitty bits of clothing that were from eBay and years old. Shitty rented house to shitty rented house everytime a landlord wants to raise the rent or sell. My kids don't go without but it's all eBay. I don't think I've ever bought them an item of new clothing, most toys and books are charity shop.

I know it's my fault. Plenty of people didn't have a great start in life (unlike my kids I had material thing but no love or support which they have in spades), but managed to make something of themselves.

I'm 41 and have nothing to show for it (I know people say "but you have your children" - any idiot can have kids, it's not a marker of anything).

I keep trying to dig myself out of it. Courses, own business, freelance work - everything I touch turns to shit it's almost funny.

No. I totally messed it up. Zero self esteem means I settled for far less than I deserved. Too late now.

No. From the outside, I have two lovely children, and nice big house, a husband who makes me laugh and a part time job that gives me time to see friends etc and then spend weekends with my family.

But. We moved from London when I was pregnant with DC1, and that was effectively the end of my career. I loved my job and was brilliant at it, and I look at my peers and want what they have. I feel stuck, and overwhelmed.

I am very happy. Looking back, I got everything I ever thought to want as a child, plus more. Great husband, beautiful kids, pets, big house, plenty of money, nice expat lifestyle, lots of travel, good friendship circle etc all present and accounted for. The biggest downer for me (there is always a flip side!) is that I feel my potential is wasted as a SAHM. I am a trailing expat spouse, and although me being home does afford my family and I a great lifestyle, but I know I could do more. In the next year or two, I plan to go back to university to retrain in a field that interests me.

@Ghostlyglow

No. I totally messed it up. Zero self esteem means I settled for far less than I deserved. Too late now.

Same

Not really. On the plus side we are wealthy, on the downside I should never have given up my career when the children were small. Also dh doesn't make me happy, but I am trapped in a gilded cage. Finally 18 year old dd is on track to lead a limited life, due to severe anxiety making her unable to properly participate in life and take opportunities