Stimming?

[cartwheelsteel]

I posted about this a while ago in one of the other boards, but didn't get any replies so thought I'd try again here.

I'm a bit concerned about my 3 year old and trying to gauge if her behaviour is 'normal' or I should be concerned. For as long as I can remember she has a habit of making repetitive noises (she will grit her teeth, rock slightly and make a sort of grunting noise). She can do this for a little while, it's often not possible to break her away from doing it. She tends to reach for certain objects at the same time (if we are walking in winter it is my gloves and she will rub her head on them constantly, or at home it is my hair, she has to hold it and rub it).

I've been worried about it for a while, but in most other ways I can't see any huge flags for concern aside from her disinterest in other children. She plays with her older sibling, but has only really played with another child a handful of times (she just has no interest whatsoever really and never has, she's happier on her own, although she's not shy). Obviously in the past year she hasn't had much chance at all though, so it could well just be that. There's a few other little things, but nothing I can quite put my finger on if that makes sense.

I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill, but I just have a feeling it's a bit off and I saw the description of stimming and I feel like it fits her behaviour perfectly. Really grateful for any thoughts.

Hi @cartwheelsteel would it be worth a chat with a health visitor or nursery to gain additional information and to se did they've noticed anything?
Sorry I can't help, but I am going through similar with my 2 year old, however he also has speech delay. Hopefully someone will be along soon with advice.

Thanks @enjoythemoment. She's not at nursery at the moment, so it's just me and DH that see it - that worries me a bit as I think sometimes it's hard to see these things in your own kids as you just get used to it if that makes sense?! We are looking into nursery for her though to give her some opportunities for social interaction, as I think the last year with all the groups being closed it has had a big impact for her.

We mentioned it on our phone appointment with an HV a while ago and they didn't really say anything about it, just something along the lines of 'keep an eye on it'. I'm not quite sure what other behaviours I should be keeping an eye out for if that makes sense though? Whether we should just wait or if there's anything we should be doing.

Hope you are able to get to the bottom of things with your DS too.

If you are worried and can afford it, a private Occupational Therapist specialising in sensory issues might be a useful first step. You can book an assessment and they would listen to you, play with your daughter, pick up on what if anything is unusual for a child her age. And then prescribe you some exercises to do and help find other ways of meeting any sensory needs.

It might be she’s rocking and grunting because other things are overwhelming to her, in which case, a pair of ear defenders might help. If she likes you rubbing her head, she may be craving gentle pressure, and an OT could show you how to give it safely.

@cartwheelsteel it's hard when you are around them all the time. It's only since my DS has started nursery that we are finally getting support and assessments so I completely understand how you feel.
I would keep pushing for someone to see your child, even if it is just for peace of mind for you.

I'd reach out to support services in your area, perhaps a children's centre or your GP, they should be able to tell you what support is available and get referrals in place, unfortunately I can't recommend any specific services as we're currently in the same position of trying to get our son assessed and the pandemic set us back by months.

Our son is 2 and also grits his teeth, occasionally rocks and regularly grunts. But he's also as of yet not talking, flaps his hands, bags his head, covers his ears at noises and displays a lot of other behaviours that we worry about.

It is really hard to pinpoint these things at this age as some of them can be age related but your gut is saying not.

For example, age 3 is really the beginning of playing 'with' other children, so it isn't that unusual, especially given the last year, that she hasn't quite got there yet.

But your gut is saying hmm, doesn't quite feel right.
I would say as a parent, do follow that gut feeling, as it is much better to check and find everything is fine, that be playing catch up later

How is her speech?
Sleep?
Eating?
Any sensory issues?

I think if you feel something is not right then it’s best to push for an assessment through gp. Write down anything that is concerning you.

Your health visitor or your doctor is your best bet, no one online can advise you what your DD is doing. We can tell you about our child’s stimming and our child’s behaviours at that age but no one at all can tell you whether that’s what your DD is doing

@Lovemusic33

How is her speech? Sleep? Eating? Any sensory issues?

I think if you feel something is not right then it’s best to push for an assessment through gp. Write down anything that is concerning you.

This. Exactly this.

Kids can do the oddest things, you can't see the woman in the girl! So please be kind to yourself and don't worry, lockdown definitely contributes to anxiety and stress. You're being a wonderful mama keeping an eye on things

Thanks everyone, this is all really helpful.

@Lovemusic33 her speech is ok. Sleep was always been terrible and very interrupted, but is now much improved, though she won't stay in her own bed, but nothing abnormal for her age. Eating is pretty fussy and she constantly makes a strange humming noise whilst eating. Until recently she would hold food in her mouth for long periods of time after eating, but this seems to have stopped lately (I did mention that to the HV and she just said she'd never heard of it). She's fussy about certain clothes feeling 'scratchy' but not in a way that really affects things day to day. Potty training initially went well last year but then backwards, and is now hit and miss but improving a bit. We went to the Dr to rule out a UTI.

She's a real lover of routine and likes things in a certain way - but maybe she gets that from me! She will happily colour in, do a jigsaw, play games with us all at home. Like others have said, it's hard to pinpoint and I'm not sure if I'm making a fuss over nothing but yesterday she was gritting her teeth, making her noise / rubbing her head constantly against my gloves for the duration of the walk to pick up her sibling from school (it's about 40 minutes there and back at toddler snail pace) and I couldn't help thinking that this doesn't feel quite right.

I'll see if I look up whether there's a local childrens centre and see if there's anyone to see face to face as it's really hard to describe.

Thanks @ChancesWhatChances you're absolutely right. I just needed a bit of reassurance that a Dr wouldn't laugh me out of the building!

I'd talk to the Health Visitor again and ask to discuss it further. You're absolutely doing the right thing to raise it.

My dd does the humming thing when eating though she has grown out of it now (at the age of 15). It’s so hard to say what things they will quickly grow out of and what they won’t. Both my DD’s were diagnosed with Autism before the age of 3, both had a couple traits you mention, dd was and still is a stimmer and a flapper but dd1 wasn’t, dd1 was the fussy eater, the poor sleeper and the unsettled baby, her sister was a dream baby but didn’t speak until she was 4 where as dd1 was talking at 10 months old. I picked up in dd1’s traits pretty early in but her sister was totally different and my gp picked it up at her 18 month/2 year check up, dd2 turned out to be more severely autistic than dd1. Dd1 was diagnosed at the age of 3 (almost 4) and dd2 was 2.5.

Keep a diary of anything you think is a concern, even video her when she’s stimming to show the gp your concerns, push for a appointment with the paediatrician.

Some children do present with these trades and do grow out of them by the time they start schools it maybe nothing but it’s always good to keep an eye on these hints and already be in the system so to speak.