58, old and creaky, with no mojo.... need to turn this around...

[Miljea]

I'm 58, overweight and a bit overwhelmed by life.

I'm an HCP now working 33% more hours than pre-Covid (so 4 x 9-5 days), but luckily tho patient facing, it's not heavy work.

I'm overweight (BMI 32-33); My spine is knackered (collapsed T11 for no discernible reason, but that's why I do minimal manual handling); I do all but no exercise, and tend to get home, bath, do dinner, then doze on the sofa. Which wrecks my night's sleep (5 continuous hours is a good night, for me!).

I'm on HRT, but post-menopause, I have no get up and go. I find I just can't be arsed to do much!

I tend to sit in bed til noon on my days off, reading.

I am naturally quite anxious about things, way more than I used to be! I do wonder if I have a bit of borderline depression (but am very keen to acknowledge I don't mean proper, clinical depression, more an inability to feel particularly positive about things).

If I awaken with a burst of energy, I have to apply that to washing, cleaning, ironing, food shopping etc, so the bit I might have given over to gardening is by then expended.

I may be able to stop work in 2.5 years' time when youngest finishes uni. I wish I felt excited at the prospect.

However, I am aware that I need to get out of this rut!

Any advice?

I need:

To get moving (C25K is out of the question with my back and creaky joints!); I fancy yoga with Adrienne, but am a bit overwhelmed by the sheer number of videos (and I want a class, not a hippy lecture...)

To find a way of reigniting my interest in hobbies (I used to paint, tho DH is wfh in that room!); sew (ditto, tho I have no interest in making my own clothes as I'm too fat to look good in any of it, now)

To not be constantly tired!

To maybe eat better, although my diet isn't that bad, but I do need less wine in my life!

Need an action plan!

I've posted in Chat because I wasn't sure where else to put it!

No real advice to give but I understand how you feel. I'm 59, slightly overweight, work as a cleaner in a school and am knackered. I don't have hobbies as such but enjoy going out for walks with our dog. We get out as much as possible. It's what keeps me going. I try to look forward to things, even if it's just a glass of wine at the weekend. I would love to stop working but must keep going for now. DD is at Uni so we are still helping to fund her.

Try to plan something just for you, however small.

This may sound like a slightly insane suggestion! I am your age and last Jan gt into the Miracle Morning movement. I didn't get up super early like some people and you might find you have a shorter version for working days (I also work PT). The trick is to compile the routine so that you actually enjoy it and it sets you up as motivated for the day.

miraclemorning.com/

When was the last time you had to engage in serious study?

I'm even beginning to bore myself on this topic, but I cannot emphasise enough just how revitalising a spell of academic challenge at university / conservatoire / art school can be when one feels stuck in a mid-life rut.

Forget all the other stuff. Lockdown is hardly the best time to reform one's habits or forgo the things that make life less stressful.

But, I would question the sacrifice of painting and sewing to someone else's apparently greater need. Can you really not find another space? Or time share that room? Is your DH aware that something you want has had to be curtailed for his benefit?

Long story short - start working on a plan for your own intellectual re-booting. You'll lose plenty of weight competing with students half your age, and racing to complete a portfolio for your end of year show.

(And please tell me you're not ironing for anyone else ...?)

Not what you want to hear, but... You need to lose a lot of weight, the mojo etc. will return.
The easiest would be intermittent fasting; start with 16:8 for a couple of weeks, then, 18:6, then 20:4. It works.

No, I want to hear it all, complete with warts! And weight loss!

Thanks so much for replying.

Regarding my DH using the spare bedroom to WFH, which was my arty/crafty space, the thing is, I can still do most of my things in there; the sewing table is still all set up, and I'd've had to have pulled the art table out and set it up anyway, before lockdown; I can access the room from 5.30 every day and all weekend. It's more I can't be arsed to! I have no mojo.

Am looking into the morning thing. I so wish I was naturally a morning person. It gives you more time and some ooomph, I know!

I actually feel better already for articulating my thoughts here on MN!

And yes, I iron for others 😂 but equally DH will iron for us all, too, and run the vacuum cleaner around etc. I don't feel I do an unfair state of the chores as I do work 4 days a week, not 5. And in these odd times, I have DS1 at home, WFH in his year out in industry from Y3 uni, and DS2 at home from his first year at uni! They'll do the dishwasher, peel veg, make a cuppa etc. I don't feel lost in drudgery, as such- it's just that there are enough hours in the day for my share of the housework plus 'me' stuff, but I can't be arsed to do the me-stuff!

I am not a morning person - but I stopped drinking (wine was my vice) and that really made a difference to my mornings!

Also - second the intermittent fasting. It has a lot of health benefits apart from weight loss. It's easier to organise than other kinds of dieting too - around otherwise family meals.

I totally get the feeling of wanting to do me stuff but lacking the oomph and motivation.

What sort of fasting works for you, can I ask?

And yes, the 🍷 😏

post chemo with dreadfully stiff knee joints. Started taking vitamin D. A few months later realised that I didn't have to pause at the top of the stairs first thing in the morning before heading down them. Worth a punt if you're not already taking it

I've done the 5-2 style diet. I didn't always do it 100% - should be 2 days/week of 500 calories. I tended to do 700 calories as 500 was just a bridge too far - and sometimes 1 day not 2! So I lost weight rather slowly but the key thing is it did come off steadily but slowly. So fast days just had lunch (c200 calories) and dinner (4-500) - but you could do it differently. There's tons of stuff online now about it and other patterns like the every day style pp mentioned (I prefer making a bigger effort just 2 days).

@mrwalkensir I'm finishing chemo soon (end Mar!!) and also taking vitamin D.

You see, I couldn't ever count the calories and all that faff; I want to eat nice things and I like my drink. For me not eating a part of the day is so much easier and it's a lifestyle now for the past year and a half. I don't want to lose any more weight so am having some nuts and boiled eggs during my fasting hours. I usually eat within 4-hour window from 4pm -8pm, however that can change.
I started off with 6-hour eating window.
I have never been a binger so there was never a worry of gorging myself during my eating hours.

I just have a few easy lunch/dinner options I rotate so I'm not constantly working out calories. I might try the other method though.

Yoga with Adriene is a good start and she's not overly "om". If you search "beginners" there is a series, random videos and "foundation" videos that make a good start. Alternatively add 5/10/15 minutes or morning to the search and they're all quite straight forwards. Just try something, there's no "right" place to start.

I've been sleeping very deeply since lockdown and now have to put my alarm at the far end of the room to wake me because I have to move to shut it up. My watch is set to vibrate a bit earlier to stir me more gently first.

Getting out moving and walking is also good for activating energy levels. It's a good time of year to start as daylight lengthens out.

Again, many thanks for the input, everyone!

Maybe try cutting alcohol for a period. Roughly the same age and I had to do that as felt so bad next morning even after a smallish amount. It also affected me getting to sleep. Don't know myself. Sleep well and up early.
I also took up some circuit training which l can't do at the moment due to lockdown but plenty of walking. Exercise is a great lifter of mood. Even a walk around the block.

And begin a course of vitamins including magnesium. Supposed to help mood.

Thanks! I know you're definitely right about the alcohol! I do drink too much.