Just asked my 17yo what he'd do if aware of sexual harassment

[ThighsofSteel]

If he was aware a woman was being harassed at work or if a friend was harassing a woman socially.

He's 17 and a timid little thing, speaking up doesn't come easily to him, but he does have a strong sense of justice and has been known to stick up for the underdog in the past.

Anyway, he didn't think much about his responses, but said at work he'd report it to someone who can help, that's what they're told to do in their diversity training.

Socially he'd tell the friend to "dial it back a notch".

Is that enough?

It's a good start. I suppose the next question is what if the friend didn't dial it back a notch? A lot of these situations occur because men know they won't be challenged on their behaviour, and there won't be consequences within their peer groups. Would he be willing to remain friends with someone who continued to harass women? And does he know what harassment actually looks like to call it out in the first place?

I actually think the bigger issue is at what "level" do young men recognise it as harassment

I was very encourage by what he said about work. He's doing an apprenticeship in a large company, with monthy reviews. At every review, he's specifically asked if there are any diversity issues he needs to report.

I think that's the issue, will young men realise that what they are seeing might look fun to them but can be deeply unpleasant or scary for women. At least you are talking to him about it, that's the right thing to do, to help him learn. Maybe get him to ask some of his female friends what they would want to happen if they were being harassed?

‘Dial it back a notch’? Sorry pal, the word is ‘stop’. And then you ditch the ‘friend’.

We will never have equality while we have such low standards for the ‘good’ men in our lives. I am not impressed by this answer at all, and no, I don’t think it’s enough.

"That's not okay" and "stop it", and "no, that behaviour is unacceptable to me" are better that "dial it back a notch" which implies some harassment is ok.

And yes, an issue is recognising it in the first instance and I would say further, reconciling it with what they know of the "great guy" and not wanting to "ruin a good guy's life".