The Undefrostable Turkey

[AnaisNun]

I bought one of those M&S extra special bacon wrapped gluten free stuffed rubbed in butter, seasonedw with pure gold with diamond giblets numbers for Christmas.

Christmas came and I moved house, my oven broke, my sons father couldn’t travel due to covid and I couldn’t face cooking a 3 kilo Turkey crown for me, my DM and the kid.

So I froze out.

Now it’s day has come.

It’s still me, DM and DS tackling the blasted thing, but I need the freezer space and it’ll only get freezer burn if I leave it much longer. So I thought-

I’ll make a “Christmas” lunch on Saturday. Why the fuck not.

Except I took the blasted thing out of the freezer and put it in the fridge on Wednesday. It has some slightly squishy areas of skin, but otherwise remains frozen solid.

HOW LONG WILL THIS TAKE!!??

I fucking hate turkey as it goes.

It'll never defrost in the fridge. Put it in a cool room, on a tray to catch the water.

Just leave it on the counter today, it’ll be thawed out by dinner time.

No advice but

Why do they say “48 hours in the fridge” on the packet then?! Why do that?! How many Christmasses have they ruined, setting the defrost bar at 48 hours?

Honestly this is why I don’t cook Turkey unless it’s under sufferance. Very inconvenient sort of bird.

When it's cold, I never defost in the fridge. There is no need.

Put in a cool place and let it defrost there. When it is nearly defrosted, maybe 30% to go, I put it in the fridge then.

Leave it out all day today and you'll be nearly there

I don’t really have a cool room. Except the cellar, which is a cool mouldy room.

It’ll have to go into the coal hole outside. If a fox gets it, I’ll consider it a blessing.

Also- are you all sage older women? How do you know this? How did I get to 33- having lived alone for 15 years- without knowing that turkeys don’t defrost in fridges?

What else should I know?! What are the unknown unknowns here?!

I defrost on the kitchen worktop and then put in the fridge or cook

😂

My utility room is always quite cold, I put my turkey in there!

Beginning to wish we had a turkey!

Stick it in a bucket of water. I've done that for the last 30 years. That'll do it.

My mum always defrosted our turkey in the bath.

Even smaller things don't defrost in my fridge. I always defrost out of the fridge on the worktop. My kitchen stay quite cold anyway

@MrsPussinBoots

Presumably took it out if you children needed to get in?!

It’s going in the coal hole imminently with my chatting potatoes for company

Chitting*

Although chatting potatoes is more whimsical...

tbh
I cooked a chicken from frozen this christmas for the same reason. bastard thing was still rock solidly frozen after 48h in fridge as per instruction.
I used a meat thermometer though to mske sure it was cooked through and I didn't pre-heat the oven to give it time to slowly heat up.

Yes you can cook it from frozen too but as pp said it’s better to do that if you have a meat thermometer so you can be absolutely sure it’s come to temperature.