So anxious, its exhausting

[PrincessTuna]

My mental health seems such a fine balance. I was really happy a fortnight ago. No particular reason just upbeat and content

The past few days I have felt terrible. I'm really anxious about someone at work making me feel insecure. This change in work atmosphere has totally preoccupied me. I cant sleep. I'm tearful. I'm not giving my son my full attention. I want to obsessively check work email. I know I've been annoying by emailing other people just to get acknowledged.

I dont have anyone to talk to in any depth. And because I am alone at nights I go back to obsessing about it.

Would antidepressants help me? I feel exhausted and sick of trying self help stuff at home, they seem to be sticking plasters for bigger issues.

I have no idea why I am like this. Never sought help.

Make an appointment with your GP to discuss the anxiety and whether they think medication is indicated.
Then discuss the work situation with someone senior - do you have a mentor, or sympathetic manager? Is it a bullying issue, which you can take to HR?
A lot of us who live alone are struggling with mental health issues due to lockdown. Perhaps the easing of restrictions (which is starting now) may help you, by providing a little more social contact.

Can I ask if you use hormonal contraception OP? I’ve recently come off the pill after ten years and the difference in my mental health is unbelievable. I felt pretty much like you did for years and have been on and off ADs in that time, never realising it was the pill making me feel that way.

Thanks both.

No hormonal contraception but I'm at the stage of life where every symptom makes me wonder if the menopause has started.

With the work issue I think my biggest problem is I dont know if it's all in my head and I will look ridiculous if I raise it. When I've described my complaints to friends I start wondering if it sounds pathetic. I don't want to raise something, create ripples that cause further anxiety.

I think lockdown is a big factor. Everything has been flat and predictable. Suddenly a dynamic changes and I cant handle it.

Thanks so much for replying

It isn't ridiculous, if you are feeling this way please reach out for help. I found ADs helped with my anxiety, but a GP should be able to go through options with you :)

Look up Haynes Menopause Manual by Louise Newson. Anxiety is super common in perimenopause/menopause and the book has information on work issues too.

I've ordered the book thanks. It mentions migraines in the synopsis and I've been having them lately, last suffered them when I was around 12 years old. Ah the joys...

sounds awful OP

No wise advice OP but I am exactly the same. Close to walking out on my job - I had an ovary removed in November and have been struggling terribly ever since. It is mainly hormonal but let's face it it's been an awful 12 months for almost everyone in one way or another.

There have been too many changes in my job this year and now our old horrible vindictive manager has returned - thought we'd got rid of him for good but his new boss saw through him and got rid of him, so now we have the joy and delights of his vile ways all over again. It's a bit too much for me and I am quite ready to walk out.

Thinking of you anyway

Awful isnt is @Cailleach. It's been a long time since I had sunday night fear, but it is back.

I feel sick when I turn on my laptop on Monday mornings. Most morning actually.

A new job might be in order. But if this is a mental health issue then maybe my anxiety would move with me.