My mum is the least helpful person in the most infuriating ways

[MrsCommuter]

We're currently isolating as DS tested positive.

She's turned up every day since he was sent home from school and lingered about waiting for a chat. I've basically been shouting 'GO AWAY' with the door cracked open an inch.

Today she said she was going to M&S and did we need anything. I said no, not really, but if she saw one of the nice oaty loaves with eight or so slices in the brown plastic wrapping, that'd be great.

She turns up with a plain loaf, three scones (there's five of us, we all like scones) and a baguette. 'They had the one you asked for but I didn't think you wanted it,'

Haha at least you have some bread to eat hope you're better soon

My mum is like this. Makes clothes for my son (very kind), asks me my opinions on what material/colour/style, which takes up time because its always a lengthy whatsapp convo, then ignores me anyway and goes with what she wants. Which im fine with (I appreciate the kindness) but whats the point in even asking in the first place.

My mum.
“ What would you like for your birthday?”
Me. “ Ooh, some posh bubble bath or shower gel would be nice”.
Mum. “ I’ve decided you need new windows”
Me. “ We don’t “
Mum. “ Right, new carpet it is then”

And repeat....

FIL “what would kid like for his birthday?”
Me “how about these books (giving a list of a few that he can choose from) or this specific thing that he would like for his hobby”
FIL “great!”

Birthday arrives “oh look grandad and granny got me a t shirt with a dinosaur on it and a calligraphy set”

Every year they buy totally niche gifts and then ask through the year how they’re getting on with them (think harmonica, learning French book)

I honestly don’t understand it but I figure it teaches the kids a good lesson about white lies and showing gratitude.

All you can do is laugh right? My mum isn't to bad but we did have this unusual conversation:
DM - I've bought you an iPhone cover.
Me - Thanks but actually I have a Samsung.
DM - I know

My mum buys clothes and if she doesn't like them for whatever reason, insists I have them and wear them as they're suitable for me. Never mind we're not the same size, my boobs are ten times bigger and we're completely different heights, or have the same tastes.

That is just bizarre. “They had the bread you asked for but I didn’t think you wanted it” but you asked for it?!!

My nan is like that though she’s better now.

It used to be
“What do kids want for Christmas”
“Oh they would really like XX and yyy”
Turns up with piles of TTT that is cheap tat that breaks on first use.

Now it’s “can you reserve something in Argos for around x amount for kids and I’ll pick it up and pay”

Brilliant