I feel underwhelmed with life, is this normal?

[Chelsea8376]

I just feel so underwhelmed with my life, is this normal? I’m 24, I don’t have any real money worries, have a job, a nice boyfriend, good friends and I get on well with my family. I don’t think I really have anything to complain at but I just feel so bored all of the time, does anyone else feel like this? Even when I’m happy or enjoying something, I have an awareness that the event will be over soon and I’ll just return to the dullness. I know no one is happy all the time but I don’t feel like my life is going anywhere or I’m achieving anything. I don’t even know why I’m writing this.

What are you going to do about this? Feeling that life is dull is really normal, especially right now. But the only person who can add spice to your life is you.

I agree it’s normal especially now. I mean what have we got to enjoy right outside our own home right now? No meals out with friends, no holidays or day trips, not even stuff like swimming or yoga class or whatever.

And we’ve had such a long winter where we’ve felt like anything we plan might just be taken away from us again if the numbers go back up and they change the rules. I’ve started living in the moment and not just in the good way. I find it so hard to care about anything beyond the stresses of Right Now because it feels pointless, it feels so utterly detached from lockdown, like it’s not even real in a way.

DH suggested we treat ourselves to something soon. I couldn’t even think what to suggest - takeaways are a bit more frequent anyway as it’s one of the few bits of excitement in life (sad huh?), I can’t think of anything else that we’d all enjoy and it just seemed like too much effort to think of something that wouldn’t then be old news within a few days.

I did realise later though, what would make me happy right now. Achieving something. That’s what I’m really craving. I just finished my last assignment on the second short course since lockdown 1 and I miss it already. I’m trying to build my life back up though (I haven’t worked for a while for various reasons) and am applying for an OU degree soon, and got some volunteer work that I’ll have training for from next week.

Is there some kind of achievement you can get from something? Not necessarily work related if you’re happy in your job.

Maybe you need a more exciting job? Seems sad to be bored at 24.

Yep. I'm 27 and life is a fucking slog. Pray you discover contentment or a swift early death.

Seems sad to bored so young. Are you passionate about your career or is not just a job? Would you look into volunteering, something that takes you from your comfort zone? At 24, I was backpacking through Australia with hardly a penny to my name, I learned so much from that experience and made so many weird and wonderful friends whom I still meet up when travelling permits. Perhaps you need to find your passion, your zest for life?

Try something new. Cook a different meal wear a new outfit, walk a different route. Then try a class or hobby.

Thank you all for your thoughts, I did start some hobbies, I go running three times a week and have tried painting although can’t say I’m that good haha! I’m also currently undertaking a short month long course at weekends to distract myself a bit. I do like my job and it is providing a good foundation in my chosen career so I am genuinely trying to do stuff to remove this feeling but I still feel it. A few have suggested it could be due to lockdown which is a really good point, hopefully I’ll be able to look into some alternative hobbies after this lockdown is over which may help I hope x

Yeah- life is really boring at the moment due to covid. Makes me veery happy I wasn't born in the 1700s or something. Plus, I remember being your age and finding the idea of working till I was 65 with only 4 weeks off a year impossible to get my head around. Then either I got used to it or I started finding work more rewarding..... not really sure which!

I'm pretty sure this is thanks to lockdown tbh. We're all fed up of groundhog day! I think many of us are 'hobbied out'. If it doesn't improve when life is back on track, then I'd be revisiting it. When I was 24 I was doing a PhD - that's both the most boring and the most interesting thing to do

Do you have an idea of what feeling you are looking for? Do you come from a stable or volatile background? What is your job like and the place you live - did you pick them because you love them or because they were sensible choices?

In your situation, with no obvious problems, I would maybe do a little thinking/reading/talking to someone about what you want.

I think it is quite helpful to feel you did what you wanted whilst young, as later life is naturally more constrained.

Although as pp have mentioned - covid life is not normal life.

Life is REALLY dull at the moment OP.

I think your life sounds depressing, as does the fact you say you’ve ‘noting to complain about’. Assuming that the boredom is a more general thing, not purely COVID-related, why not change everything? You don’t have any binding ties, and you’re 24. When travel is possible, go and live in a different country? If you imagine a life that would genuinely make you want to get up in the morning, what does that life look like?

I come from quite a volatile background (this is the most stable my life has been ironically) job wise, this is the career I want to be in (currently in a junior role with the outlook of working up to a more senior role, I also have a masters course offer for next year if I wish to take it) so career wise I’m where I thought I would be and where I want to be, albeit I’d like to be managing a team rather than a junior member but I know you have to work up to this.

You’ve made an interesting point about location, currently here due to necessity, whilst it is a beautiful place it is very quiet and never where I saw myself living for any extended period of time. I would like to move to a city so I will continue to research this and look into how I can make this happen for myself

@Chelsea8376

I come from quite a volatile background (this is the most stable my life has been ironically) job wise, this is the career I want to be in (currently in a junior role with the outlook of working up to a more senior role, I also have a masters course offer for next year if I wish to take it) so career wise I’m where I thought I would be and where I want to be, albeit I’d like to be managing a team rather than a junior member but I know you have to work up to this.

You’ve made an interesting point about location, currently here due to necessity, whilst it is a beautiful place it is very quiet and never where I saw myself living for any extended period of time. I would like to move to a city so I will continue to research this and look into how I can make this happen for myself

Then maybe you should both pat yourself on the back for achieving stability (I mean, assuming you want it) and think about moving somewhere more exciting!?

I suppose my earlier post came down to the fact that I certainly didn’t need or want that kind of stability at 24. For me, that was the time to take weird jobs and go with my whims — now-DH and I tutored on a film set in Mexico, I lived by myself on a remote uninhabited island, and during the writing up period of my MA, I went to live in a commune in the US. I spent a summer on an archaeology dig. This may all sound deeply unappealing to you, but you don’t sound engaged by your own life either, and it certainly wouldn’t have been for me at 24.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

Hi - I asked the question about a volatile background because it is common to mistake calm for boredom if you grew up with volatility. The absence of stress and disruption feels as though something is missing. People who grow up near railway tracks find it hard to sleep in the countryside.

I recommend counseling about this as you may be about to sabotage your life, to get back to the volatility you grew up with.

So speaks an older person who has trodden that path, anyway!!

I’ve been listening to a really good podcast called the happiness half hour. Give it ago. It might help.

Did you ever do anything before settling down at work etc??

Like go off travelling for a year? Do a years working visa for another country for a bit?

You need to do something about this - it won’t get better if you just sit around living the same life that makes you unhappy!

I went to Canada for 2 years when I was 21 and lived in 5 different cities

Packed everything up again when I was 24 and went backpacking in Asia for 6 months then South America for 4 months the following year

never regretted any of it

Life is short change things up - the only reason your life is full is because of choices you make

If travel isn’t your thing then you need to find something else

What do you wish you could do? What hobbies do you enjoy?

It’s great you have a career etc - but maybe working at a beach bar in another country for a bit might be more enjoyable

I initially thought lockdown boredom which most definitely is a thing for many. But then you wrote one sentence about your childhood and that stood out for me.,

Children brought up in volatile atmospheres often though not always don’t understand calmness very well. They are tuned in to highs and lows, it’s their normal and that can in itself be a danger to a successful life. It’s linked to why some people have addiction issues or stay in awful relationships. They end up self sabotaging their lives.

On reflection life is a lot of work, study and chores. Then there is the readily available fun out of lockdown like seeing friends, taking a hobby class, meeting family for lunch, cocktails after work. Sort of lower level fun stuff that you can do whilst you live your regular life. Then there is the big stuff long haul holidays, buying a home or other big purchases, falling in love, marrying, having dc, achievements that are personal ambitions to you as an individual. Mine was setting up a charity, my friends was get a book published.

I have had the thrill of climbing mountains but I also enjoy sitting under the fruit tree in my garden in summer doing the crossword with DH. They both bring something to my life.

I agree with what other posters are saying about stability. I too would not have wanted this much stability at 24, I’m even struggle with the thoughts of it now at 33. We all have different personalities so you need to think about excites you and just do it.

If it wasn’t irresponsible I’d say have a baby

Very good point about the chaos vs stability. My DH grew up in an unstable home including lots of moves (dad in RAF) and he found it hard to be stable with jobs etc until he was about 40. His sister moves house/town a lot for similar reasons.

It’s so good to recognise these things about ourselves - whether you choose to go along with it or try and change it, there’s no right or wrong as long as you’re content with your life and the plans you make!

Please don’t have a baby because you’re bored, please don’t. Is this the only reason people have children, due to boredom? If you do that your life will still empty in 18 years when they go off to college. Don’t do that.

It sounds as though you're already doing lots of stuff .The only thought I can offer is getting into reading . I find books can really transport me and offer relief from boredom .( sorry ,seems a bit low key! )