Coping with constructive criticism on placement

[iwasntlying]

I’m doing an online placement for uni (so entirely at home) and a bit thrown as have just been given some advice on things that came across as criticism ... It’s a very minor issue, more around the technology I’m using (iPad isn’t working great so interferes a bit with ability to video conference).

I know the point of placement is to learn and I know that’s what I’m doing and they have to provide criticism or I’ll never learn - but I feel a bit wobbly and stupidly tearful . (Placement don’t know that - I’m not going to tell them)

How best can I learn from this going forward - what’s the best way to handle constructive criticism without being a bit of a numpty (ie what I’m doing right now) ?

Oh God ignore username, that was for another thread entirely - I haven’t told uni or placement any lies about anything!!

Well, I think you’re doing well to objectively realise it’s advice not criticism.

Can you think of reasons why you might take it personally or find it disproportionately upsetting? Because dealing with that root cause might be the answer.

If I can be really OTT: if you had an over bearing parent who told you for years that you were shit, over the slightest thing - that might cause you to struggle with any slight perceived criticism and the action to help - full on therapy.

Maybe think about why the person said it, and how you turn it round. A skype message to the person who said your connection was bad, thanking them for letting you know - and asking if they have a moment for you to call and test if it’s better now, as you’ve got a WiFi booster. Take the sting out of it - it wasn’t criticism, it was a colleague helping you out.

It’s hard to say without knowing what the “criticisms” were... but do try to actively say to yourself - it’s not personal.

Maybe your reaction is simply because it’s your first day and you’re nervous - in which case, just be kind to yourself!

Oh and if it was actually delivered in a mean spirited critically way, you’re allowed to roll your eyes off camera and think, “well aren’t you a peach?” 🙄

Get those feelings directed externally!

Try and remember that someone who has given you constructive input has taken time out to do so, at no or minimal benefit to them. It's much easier to roll your eyes or be annoyed at someone but stay silent than it is to say something constructive. That person has given you the gift of their time and attention because they want you to do well and grow.

If you're able to make that shift in seeing their intent, it may help. Otherwise... Fake it until you make it! Say (or email if you're too wobbly in the moment), "Thanks very much for your time and your feedback. It was really helpful. I'm going to think on it/take X action." It gets easier.

I was the worst in the world for taking professional feedback personally but I did a short eLearning module through work on it and it was really beneficial. Totally changed my outlook on it. I bet Coursera or similar have free versions you could possibly try?

Nobody lands in any job able to do it. I'm in a new one and am totally reliant on two people to learn it. Just be of the attitude that you will master this job and keep moving forward. Take notes, read through them, ask questions. The criticism isn't criticism. Its pointers. As a pp said, people who don't care about you or the work don't bother. Thank them. Ask more questions. Build a relationship with them. But be like a bull battling forwards. You are not expected to be perfect. Just open to learning.