Do you feel sad when you imagine your kids being grown up

[KettleWentBang]

I have a teen a 3 year old and 1 year old.
The teen to 3 is a huge gap. And she was very much planned via treatment as told we couldn't conceive naturally.
Then out of the blue it happened when she was just over 1.
I have more patience in some ways being an older mum now. But in others I miss the stupid things like a house that stays hoovered more than 2 mins.
I find it stressful just planning to get out of the door. Changing bag etc
I said to dh I can't wait until the days of no pushchair /changing bag. Or when I tidy it stays relatively tidy. Not for example if 3year old leaves a book the 1 year old ripping it. Constantly chasing my ass.
And he said I was being grumpy. Which I know I am to a certain extent.
Don't get me wrong. I love them this age. Learning new things and being so innocent. But i feel run ragged. Dh works 6 days a week so it's pretty much just me. Which so has many others I'm not complaining in any way.

So for me I don't feel that sad about them growing up but I have mum guilt that I'm kind of wishing their years away

Am I alone in this.

I mean it happened and we expected ds when dd was just over 1

Personally, I can't wait for the 15 yo to bugger off and leave.

But it's been a difficult year with him at home, refusing to work, arguing, shouting and being surly. It feels like being trapped in a relationship I don't want to be in, frankly.

I'm sure he'll outgrow it at some point. The thought doesn't make me sad...

I feel your pain. Mine is the same age. And I couldn't wait for the return to school just so I don't have to have the homeschooling argument

I do and I don't. I'm quite excited to see what they do with their lives, the younger they are the less they can surprise you because you choose everything. I will miss them though when the last one has moved out.

I have 3 older children, 23, 19 and 18, and 2 young ones, 5 and 3. I love my children, but cannot wait until my older boys move out. My eldest has already been through Uni and moved out.
My boys just eat, and make a mess wherever they go. I'm so lucky, as my boys are lovely, but my goodness, they just dollop around, especially since lock down. Gyms are closed, but their appetites are not. It's protein protein protein. They are so clean, they shower before any exercise and take forever in the bathroom. Not to mention the towel usage, and the constant change of outfits. Both boys look at me as though I'm from a different planet. Sometimes, I wonder 😁.
I have no privacy at all, but they demand full privacy.
I am very proud of my children, but secretly, I can't wait to visit their homes and get my revenge.
If your dh thinks you are grumpy, then book yourself a little weekend away, and leave him to it. Then we will see who's grumpy and run ragged. x

@NovemberR I was awful to my parents at 15,a total bitch.I managed to turn it around once I started work and matured at 18.I hope you experience the same

Wishing their years away doesn't actually make their years pass faster. We lack such powers. No guilt required.

I'm probably not cut out to be a parent. Having so many people so dependent on me is a huge burden. Especially their emotional dependence. I hate organising their lives. I hate feeling guilty about their character defects. I will love the freedom in my future (before I may become a burden on them).

Sometimes you don't figure all that out until you're in middle of it. As long as I do my duty, I can feel little guilt that not every moment is a joy.

Yes I do. I hope we will always be a close as we are now but I'm worried what will happen when he hits his teens.

@BrownEyedGirl80

Oh me too! My DM once said I hope you have a child, just like you! and even then I thought it a nasty thing to wish on someone.

I have been well served. And this is the last teen still at home - the rest are all in their 20s and long gone.

@NovemberR onwards and upwards then mines 7 going on 17

@NovemberR, my mum's parenting advice to me was that the toddler years are there to make you glad when they eventually go to school and the teen years are nature's way of making sure you don't miss them too much when they eventually fly the nest.

I was having this conversation with my mum today.

DD is 16 and I really didn't enjoy pregnancy or the first 6 months, but since then I've been lucky that I've really enjoyed every stage of her growing up.

I'm really excited for her going to sixth form then on to uni and we chat sometimes about how our relationship might be when she's older. Apparently she reckons she'll be texting me multiple times a day and was horrified when I told her I wouldn't be moving to London (where she is determined she will live) when she has babies to be grannying on demand !

I’ve got a 2 year old and a baby and since having the baby I could cry at how fast they are both growing, especially the baby. That first year can be hellish but it goes so fast. Once past a year or so, the sadness sort of passes and I look back with major rose tinted glasses.

Some days though, I dream of me and dh laying on a beach somewhere glorious without small children to worry about.

That saying is true though, ‘the days are long, but the years are short’.

@FoxyTheFox

That's a very wise saying!

Very. Infact I think about this a lot. I worry about them both, especially my eldest and how she will cope with adulthood

As I plan to live a very long time
I feel sad at the thought of them going grey and getting old themselves.

They are currently 44 and 40

No I don't. I want them to grow up. They are growing up, it's all good.