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Original poster

Last fucking straw

591 replies

sarahC40 · 09/03/2021 15:34

Handhold please and advice (on how not to utterly lose my shit or get arrested for this). It’s not been a great lockdown.

Saving Grace: my garden. Lovely tree, probably in the wrong place but predates the houses, was cut down without warning, so that my view, which was of said lovely tree, is now of the back of someone’s house. They have now closed all of their blinds because, yes, we are now overlooking each other.

The tree is in no man’s land between the gardens - it doesn’t belong to them. They’ve got down everything that overhung my garden (my son woke up to find men climbing over my fence and most of tree gone) and they’ve left a twenty foot high stump. My other neighbours were open mouthed in shock, so this isn’t just me sounding off; it’s horrendous.

I know there’s nothing that I can do, but I would like some vengeful suggestions that I won’t act on but will help me as I try to stop crying at the fucking awful sight of their fugly house.

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MrMucker · 10/03/2021 21:08

@SchadenfreudePersonified

sarah - your neighbour thinks that if she can avoid you for a week then you will let it go.

Don't let it go. I wouldn't let it go. If it takes a decade, pull her on this.

Let her fear stepping out of doors for the rest of her life.

Let her never be able to put out her washing without checking in every direction to make sure you aren't lurking behind the fence ready to remind her what a sly cow she is.

Get what's left of the tree protected so she can't cut more bits off if it regenerates.

And plant something fast growing and messy where it is likely toself-seed all over her lawn.

What, you mean like another ash tree?
mumofthemonsters808 · 10/03/2021 21:20

I find it so upsetting seeing trees being cut down, get very emotional just witnessing their destruction.Some people don’t deserve the joys of nature. I”d get planting.

PhoenixandtheRug · 10/03/2021 22:14

Sarah I, among many, understand. Ignore the utter dickheads,,.they shame themselves only.

My parents have died, fairly recently to one another, and the trees they planted have revived my soul in a way I can't explain. If someone was to cut them down, well I can't even describe my emotions about it..

Jamboree01 · 10/03/2021 23:04

Sorry, I’m a bit slow. Has the tree been cut down? Or trimmed back? Because I’ve never heard of a 20ft stump?

timeisnotaline · 10/03/2021 23:05

Avoiding you? Spineless coward. I’d lean on her doorbell/knocker every few hours until I had a chance to convey keep the fuck out of my garden, I’m putting bear traps in it and you can pay your next illegal tree surgeons hospital bills.

Jamboree01 · 10/03/2021 23:05

Maybe a giant redwood stump

Original poster
sarahC40 · 10/03/2021 23:50

@PhoenixandtheRug

Sarah I, among many, understand. Ignore the utter dickheads,,.they shame themselves only.

My parents have died, fairly recently to one another, and the trees they planted have revived my soul in a way I can't explain. If someone was to cut them down, well I can't even describe my emotions about it..

I totally get that. I am sorry for your loss and so cheered my your sense of connection. This is a thing with trees. My parents planted trees for every single grandchild’s birth - oaks. I’m never going to be able to sell their house when they’re gone, am I?
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Original poster
sarahC40 · 10/03/2021 23:52

@Jamboree01

Sorry, I’m a bit slow. Has the tree been cut down? Or trimmed back? Because I’ve never heard of a 20ft stump?
Imagine something as tall as your house, with random stumpy branches left jutting out at all angles, with no discernible crown. It’s difficult to say it’s been pruned, topped or pollarded. It doesn’t seem to have a crown reduction, because there’s no crown left. I’m really not convinced they knew what they were doing.
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Original poster
sarahC40 · 10/03/2021 23:54

@mumofthemonsters808

I find it so upsetting seeing trees being cut down, get very emotional just witnessing their destruction.Some people don’t deserve the joys of nature. I”d get planting.
We’ve been proactive this evening and some mature silver birches are being investigated for me. There’s some other lovely suggestions on here to consider and I will enjoy throwing myself into that. My 17 year old suggested that we buy something with plenty of seeds 😂
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MrMucker · 10/03/2021 23:58

"Imagine something as tall as your house, with random stumpy branches left jutting out at all angles, with no discernible crown. "

You complete narna-you've just described any pollarded tree in early March.

Jamboree01 · 11/03/2021 00:05

This is what I was thinking...

Not the ‘narna’ bit though 🤣

Jamboree01 · 11/03/2021 01:17

The other thing- the hysteria about seeds- we ain’t jack and the beanstalk- the seed doesn’t just hit the ground and produce a tree in 10 seconds flat.

Some of this thread has been mad.

theoldtrout01876 · 11/03/2021 02:35

Try one of these dragon/empress tree. I can attest to fast growing, Im in the northern USA and this thing grew 10 feet the first year. It started as a 3 inch high stick the thickness if a childs pinky, by fall it was 10 foot tall with HUGE leaves. You can cut them back every year to the ground and just let it grow that size again if you want. Because they grow so fast the new growth is hollow, I lost the top half of mine in a hurricane so just took the rest down. Even if you just use it for privacy till your chosen tree is tall enough to hide the buggers.

Jamboree01 · 11/03/2021 02:40

But the other tree is still there? It’s only been cut back/ pollarded.

Original poster
sarahC40 · 11/03/2021 07:13

@MrMucker

"Imagine something as tall as your house, with random stumpy branches left jutting out at all angles, with no discernible crown. "

You complete narna-you've just described any pollarded tree in early March.

No dear, I’m not. It’s been butchered. They’ve also removed all of the tree that provided my privacy. Really grateful that you bothered to post - invaluable really, but don’t bother to trouble yourself again 😘
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Original poster
sarahC40 · 11/03/2021 07:14

@theoldtrout01876

Try one of these dragon/empress tree. I can attest to fast growing, Im in the northern USA and this thing grew 10 feet the first year. It started as a 3 inch high stick the thickness if a childs pinky, by fall it was 10 foot tall with HUGE leaves. You can cut them back every year to the ground and just let it grow that size again if you want. Because they grow so fast the new growth is hollow, I lost the top half of mine in a hurricane so just took the rest down. Even if you just use it for privacy till your chosen tree is tall enough to hide the buggers.
Thanks for the suggestion. Am starting to enjoy tree shopping 👍
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Original poster
sarahC40 · 11/03/2021 07:18

@Jamboree01

But the other tree is still there? It’s only been cut back/ pollarded.
I’m loving the idea that it may have been pollarded but from my reading around it’s very damaging to do this to a 100 ish year old tree.never mind that, the issue is now all the beautiful canopy has gone I’m left with looking into every single one of my neighbours rooms so don’t feel particularly cheerful. It can’t grow back that side because they’ve got a massive chunk off that to the base and I will be dead before it grew back to cover that view. We will be planting - it’ll be fine.
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Original poster
sarahC40 · 11/03/2021 07:20

@Jamboree01

The other thing- the hysteria about seeds- we ain’t jack and the beanstalk- the seed doesn’t just hit the ground and produce a tree in 10 seconds flat.

Some of this thread has been mad.

I think that people are a bit bored. That’s ok. I’m a bit tired of their faux concern though. I know that everyone who has seen in where I live has been left open mouthed and people have responded with a variety of expletives. I’m not even being hyperbolic - wish I was.
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Deathraystare · 11/03/2021 07:43

Just plant triffids and point them in the right direction!

Deathraystare · 11/03/2021 07:44

Oh and it is possibly illegal now but razor wire on top of your fence.

SoupDragon · 11/03/2021 07:53

@Jamboree01

The other thing- the hysteria about seeds- we ain’t jack and the beanstalk- the seed doesn’t just hit the ground and produce a tree in 10 seconds flat.

Some of this thread has been mad.

It seems to if it's a fucking sycamore. It sheds thousands of decoy seeds that you pull up making you miss the one that is suddenly a deep rooted tree at the back of the border next spring.
DancingInTheGarden · 11/03/2021 09:20

@sarahC40 I completely understand your devastation. We have a railway line near our house and Network rail felled ALL of the mature trees on the embankments. 50+ year old oaks and sycamore trees - gone in an afternoon. I was devastated.
And the loss of privacy is so depressing.

justilou1 · 11/03/2021 10:14

I live in Aus and grew up on the side of a mountain in a lovely, green, forresty area with environmental protection orders. Everyone who lived there loved their big trees. The elderly people in the house behind us (higher up the hill) had an organic garden with raised garden beds, deep with rich compost and lots of tropical fruit trees. The people that bought their place, illegally raised everything and built a giant tennis court complete with huge lights right behind my parents. The lights shone into EVERYONE’s houses, and when these people were asked to maybe be a little bit considerate, they were aggressive. All the neighbours banded together to plant three kinds of fast-growing native fruit trees that all matured at the same time, and attracted flying foxes (aka fruit bats). The fruit bats were attracted to the lights on the tennis courts and when the trees all produced fruit, began shitting red, white and blue all over the fucking thing as well. The idiots then complained to the council about everyone ELSE’S trees affecting the tennis court that they didn’t have permission to build, and guess what? They were fined for breaching the Environmental Protection Order AND had to pull down the lights, pull up the tennis court, and re-plant the block!!! 🤩🤩🤩

giletrouge · 11/03/2021 11:07

justilou1 brilliant! Absolutely love it. StarStarStarStarStar

ArcheryAnnie · 11/03/2021 11:23

@justilou1

I live in Aus and grew up on the side of a mountain in a lovely, green, forresty area with environmental protection orders. Everyone who lived there loved their big trees. The elderly people in the house behind us (higher up the hill) had an organic garden with raised garden beds, deep with rich compost and lots of tropical fruit trees. The people that bought their place, illegally raised everything and built a giant tennis court complete with huge lights right behind my parents. The lights shone into EVERYONE’s houses, and when these people were asked to maybe be a little bit considerate, they were aggressive. All the neighbours banded together to plant three kinds of fast-growing native fruit trees that all matured at the same time, and attracted flying foxes (aka fruit bats). The fruit bats were attracted to the lights on the tennis courts and when the trees all produced fruit, began shitting red, white and blue all over the fucking thing as well. The idiots then complained to the council about everyone ELSE’S trees affecting the tennis court that they didn’t have permission to build, and guess what? They were fined for breaching the Environmental Protection Order AND had to pull down the lights, pull up the tennis court, and re-plant the block!!! 🤩🤩🤩
Magnificent!