DS is overweight - what can I do?

[AIOR]

Weighed DS last night and he's overweight, nearing the obese category. He's nearly 9. I'm not sure where I'm going wrong so wondered if anyone could help me please?

Today's food for example is as follows;
Breakfast - one Weetabix with semi skimmed milk and a low fat standard sized yoghurt
Morning snack - plum
Lunch - ham and cream cheese roll (2 slices of thin ham, white sliced roll and 50% reduced fat cream cheese), packet of onion ring crisps, cucumber and carrot sticks and small pack of iced gem biscuits.
Dinner - meatballs (4) in tomato sauce with pasta tubes (I'd guess at approx 30 tubes) and 12 grapes for dessert.

He drinks mainly water with the occasional squash drink. Very very rarely he'll have a fanta - maybe 4 times a year.

40 minutes walking a day plus an hour or 2 in the park about 3 times a week where he is on the go constantly. Was doing weekly swimming lessons pre covid.

His younger brother eats the same sized portions and is right in the middle of the healthy weight bracket. I'm not sure what to try to help reduce the weight back into a healthy zone.

He doesn't really ever ask for snacks so I can't really cut them out, I can't fit more exercise into our day very easily. He's with his dad every other weekend where I know he doesn't eat the same but could that every other weekend really be making so much difference to his weight?

Sorry it's so long. I'm just feeling a bit rubbish tonight that I haven't picked up on this before it got to this stage.😔

Has it been gradual gain or sudden?

Low fat yoghurts are often quite sugary - best to have full fat in moderation imo.

More protein esp at breakfast (e.g. egg) could be worth a try. Or porridge? Maybe crisps or iced gems instead of both at lunch. Very little veg in what you have listed above (appreciate it is just one day).

I think it's fairly gradual and so I haven't noticed. Last night trying his trousers on for school highlighted the issue.

What kind of yoghurt would be better? He doesn't like plain yoghurt, the low fat ones are fruit ones.

Can definitely take one of the items out at lunch - either the iced gems or crisps although combined they are 188 calories so don't seem horrendous.

He'd definitely eat boiled egg for breakfast on a slice of toast, not so keen on porridge unless it's got sugar or syrup on!

The tomato sauce had quite a lot of veg in, sorry I didn't put that. I'm on a diet myself after eating too much bread, pasta and chocolate in lockdown so I always pack pasta sauces with loads of veg!

Should I pay attention to calories so closely for a child? I do for myself as that's what works. I've just worked his out and he's had 1580 calories today, not sure if that's good or bad for his age to be honest. It's more than I've eaten!

Either that day is not typical or I’d be worried about what he’s eating at his dad’s or elsewhere. What you’ve described doesn’t seem a huge amount although pretty sugary. I’d be knocking out the ice gems. One weetabix is nothing. My 2yo would have two.

www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/childrens-health/how-many-calories-does-a-child-of-7-10-need/

NHS website says he should have 1,840 so if you have counted accurately then it would be worthwhile keeping a note for the next couple of weeks because he can’t be under eating calories every day yet putting on weight so there must be something portion wise/ calorie wise he is having at some point.

Is the pasta white or wholemeal? Pasta is calorific so unless it’s weighed he could be eating more calories than you think there. Would the toast be white or wholemeal? If you add butter on it may not be as good as weetabix tbh.

The iced gems and crisps may not be a lot of calories combined but could be setting a habit of having crisps and a sweet thing which isn’t really needed. It makes his lunch high carb low protein when you consider he’s having a roll as well.

I think you'd be better looking at a weeks average of what he eats, I appreciate it's difficult with him being at his Dads and not knowing what he's having, but if what you've listed is typical then it could be his weekend food pushing it up.

I would definitely let him choose crisp or iced gems though.

Also he may be due a growth spurt, my DSs went out a bit before suddenly waking up a few inches taller

Yeah he won’t be getting fat on that menu. Do you have a good relationship with his dad so you can talk about it? Any chance he’s spending pocket money on chocolate?

Surely this is to do with moving about much less during lockdown? I imagine there's plenty of children in this situation, they've not had PE in months or any of their usual activities.

If you find overweight yourself without knowing why chances are the portion sizes generally could be too generous.
Do you get takeaways or pizzas at the weekend? Does he drink glasses of milk.
His younger brother is not a good comparison as kids often get bigger as they get older. 2 treats at lunch is too much. It just trains them to expect two everyday.

He should not be putting on weight if that's all he eats on a daily basis.

Is he eating other stuff at school/ friends/ dads?

Definitely more protein to fill him up especially at breakfast - scrambled eggs? omelette? Boiled eggs? Hummus wrap? Roast chicken pieces in the packed lunch? Cheese cubes? Babybels? Almonds? Apple slices dipped in peanut butter?

Could he be heading for a growth spurt? One of my kids always puts weight on before a growth spurt then he seems to stretch upwards and go all slim again!

Quite a lot of sugar & carbs in that lot. Low fat yoghurts are full of sugar, Greek yoghurt 0% fat would be a good choice & add fruit for flavour or kvarg ones are filling and have nice flavours.

Swap to wholemeal bread & pasta and watch portion size on pasta.

My DS would get a small cake, packet of crisps or biscuits in his lunch not 2 of them.

I would try and up the exercise, which may be easier now back at school

Yep agree with low fat, as sugar is used to compensate. Fat actually makes you feel full, sugar doesn't. My DS (8) was looking chunky at Christmas, he is a big boy anyway but I've been really careful with him and, as his football hasn't been on, taken him running with me. You probably need to up his exercise as well. But, he's probably due à growth spurt, which will help.

My kids eat more than that in a day, and more 'junk' food but are all slim. Maybe it's just how he processes calories and stores fat, a growth spurt and puberty might help him get lean, I think children often get a bit of puppy fat before hitting puberty, maybe it's a hormone thing?
I wouldn't make it an issue, don't create a food eating problem, watch and see what happens over the next year, hopefully with more activities over summer it might help

My 9 year old DGS would eat 3 weetabix.

Regardless of how much sugar is there, it's not that much food, not that many calories.

Has he grown upwards much? He could very easily have a growth spurt and slim down.

From today's food, I'd be more inclined to give 2 weetabix. No yogurt.

Then give the yogurt with either crisps or iced gems at lunch. I'd use granary bread if he'll eat it. But I'm.not sure how much difference that will make, it's really not much food!. As a comparison, my 4 yr old has eaten
2 weetabix, whole milk, Apple juice. 2 walnuts, 4 almonds.
Ham sandwich (1 slice granary, 1 slice ham, butter) handful spiral crisps, cucumber sticks.
Dinner was 1/2 fillet of salmon, carrots (1/2 large), green beans (4) , rice (2 big dessert spoonfuls ) muller corner (not usual) 2 bite sized choc mini rolls.
He also had a very small milky bar, sone Smarties (about 6) and a mini pack of love hearts

My son is tall (91st centile) but not overweight at all.

Look for the hidden Calories. Eg weigh the pasta and calculate calories.

Reduce the treat stuff to one a day.

Recalculate his weight. I managed to put the wrong number in the BMI calculator.

Mine occasionally get thicker around the middle, I try to grow them out by gradually reducing treats and increasing veg to carbs ratio. One has found the sweet shop on the way home from school. Money is put straight on Dinnermoney account now so less temptation. Still buys shit at school but less bad than sweets.

You’d be better off seeking proper advice via your GP. Children should not be put on restrictive diets without medical supervision.

What does he do when he isn’t on the 40min walk? Is he quite active? It is probably lockdown. Out of lockdown the exercise really adds up. My son walks to and from school 15mins each way, 30mins running around at break, 45 running round at lunch, 3sports lessons a week, after sports school club 1hr, swimming twice a week 30mins per session. Walks with me at the weekend and playing in the park. He is quite keen on sport but even if he wasn’t, a lot of the activity is part of a child’s normal non-lockdown day.

I would drop the morning yogurt as there’s dairy with the milk. Lunchtime I would drop the crisps and iced gems. You already have bread, so I’d put the yogurt in there. I’d swap out some pasta for veg.
Lockdown has caused a lot of people to gain weight so I would just try to get him moving as much as possible and keep it fun

It really doesn’t sound like a huge amount of food unless you’re severely underestimating portion sizes on things like the pasta and cream cheese . It’s possible he’s about to have a growth spurt, maybe just keep an eye for a while?

Thank you for all of your comments, I will try and answer the questions.

I will order some different yoghurts with our shopping this week and search out the full fat ones. I know one Weetabix isn't much but that's what he chooses, if he is hungrier he'll have 2 but that isn't often.

Will also take out one of the treat foods at lunch and replace it with a yoghurt then (skipping the yoghurt at breakfast)

We have wholemeal bread for toast or sandwiches usually. I was delivered white rolls as a substitute so they're not usual. None of us like wholemeal pasta though so I am very careful with portions of it. I don't think I'm overfeeding him with portions.

I definitely don't want to make a big deal about it to him and I don't want to restrict his food. He tells me he's not hungry so the amount he eats is his choice, I control what we eat but he has access to a full fruit bowl, rice cakes and cheese sticks if he ever feels hungry but he just doesn't snack!

I'm sure his activity levels have dropped over lockdown, although we do walk a lot, probably 6-7 miles a day on the weekends. School is 20 minutes each way, break time and lunchtime will be spent charging about, park for 1-2 hours every other day. If it's raining we walk instead of going to the park.

Unfortunately his dad isn't really open to any conversation. A typical weekend there involves at least 2 takeaways and adult sized portions. Would this really cause him to be so overweight when it's every other weekend?

We don't have takeaways here as I can't afford it and I'm trying to be careful about my weight too. DS definitely isn't getting food anywhere else, he doesn't go out alone ever, I occasionally buy him the small packs of Haribo as a treat, probably eats 2 per week I would say.

Hopefully he's just due a growth spurt. I'll try and work out calories over the week and see if I'm missing something.

Agree with PP that you need medical advice before changing his diet significantly, some of the suggestions on here sound like a lot of fibre for a little boy! I would keep a food diary (that he’s not aware of) over a longer period of time and weigh him again in a month. If it still doesn’t look right, talk to your GP.

I think it's really difficult to say. I'd be inclined to wait and see what happens. Presume he's back at school this week. I don't think you can limit his food from what he has.

I will definitely take the comments on board and keep an eye over the next month or two, fingers crossed he'll shoot up a bit and things will even out. Looking at his red book he's not grown much over the last 12 months so maybe that is it. I'll tweak a couple of bits in his diet but won't do anything drastic.

He's a happy little boy although he sometimes suffers with a lack of confidence so I'd like to deal with this now, quietly and calmly before he's a teenager and subject to any cruel comments by others.

Let him grow without making any issue over food or weight. Encourage lots of exercise (which has been really difficult over lockdown) and serve nutritious tasty meals. The takeaways at his dads will not make him obese, and even if he's eating larger portions there it's not a habit he continues when he returns to you.
My DS was quite tubby at 9, now 11 and very tall and lean. We've never restricted food, just talked about a healthy balance of food occasionally when his portions started getting rather large.