Feels like a bomb has dropped after birth of second child

[faithfulbird20]

Did anyone else feel like that? We already have dd3 and although I love my second child everything has been turned upside down. My mood goes down thinking about how much fun we used to have with one child. It was a very cosy world, we had just built up a family routine ... now we're back to the baby stages...beastfeeding and changing nappies... it's only been a week since my second child's birth and it's still a shock to the system....

Breastfeeding *

I get this, maybe I sound awful but I'm wishing away time until my 2nd is older and we can all do more together.

Yes, my second is now 7 weeks and I completely feel the same. My marriage broke down when I was 11 weeks pregnant, and juggling 2 on my own is much trickier. I am confident it will pass though, we adore her, she just needs so much more of my time just now and I feel bad for my first.

Oh bless you OP it's only been a week. Hormones will still be raging and I can imagine the feeling of going backwards is really hard. I only have one so I can't help much, but some people find the transition from 0 to 1 child hard, others find 1 to 2 harder. I suspect I'll be in the second camp, so although we're planning a second I'm a bit worried about it.

It's super early days though, you'll find your new rhythm.

I remember feeling that way. First child was three and fairly easy going. The new baby came along and it was like a whirlwind. DH took on a lot with first child and the housework when he could and left me with the baby. We cut corners a lot - lots of ready meals and takeaways in the first few weeks & basic housework only. Now is not the time to start any DIY projects or worry about the garden. It does get easier as you adjust to having two. It's a case of being highly organised and creating a routine of sorts, then you start to feel like you start to have some control over the situation. When baby slept I sat with the older one and watched TV. It gave me a break. When baby starts toddling around the two of them will start to amuse each other and it will get easier.

There's 15 months between my boys and it was a shock at first - lots of guilt due to not giving DS1 all my attention. Now they're 5 and 4 and the best of friends, it's wonderful.

Keep an eye on this - it might be PND. If it goes on for another week or you start feeling hopeless, pointless and overwhelmed, PLEASE TELL SOMEONE IRL.

It gets easier, just try not to give yourself impossible ideals to meet. There is no requirement for you to have your shit together at this stage at all. If the house is a mess and you are still in your PJ's at 5pm it doesn't matter, if your 3 year old watches more TV and hasn't had a bath for a few days it doesn't matter, if you haven't managed to leave the house yet because every time you try to get ready to leave someone poos or is hungry it doesn't matter. When your baby is sleeping you rest or cuddle up with your 3 year old. Is your partner helping with meals and keeping 3 year old entertained?

I found one baby fine (quite a chilled baby and good sleeper) but a baby and toddler really hard and a huge shock to the system. Dd2 was a very highly strung baby and a poor sleeper. So for us it was due to temperament.
Things got easier as they got older and they are quite easy teenagers now. Despite dd2 being a challenging baby they both turned out lovely, but I really sympathise with people finding it hard with a baby and toddler