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In An Ideal World...

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User454876584 · 05/03/2021 19:15

This is meant to be light hearted and probably highlights many first world problems but in my ideal world I would have/be:

Financially self sufficient with an interesting small business that involved a lot of creativity.

A teen who is not afflicted by low self esteem but has aspirations and radiates confidence.

My own self assurance instead of being riddled with anxiety and most likely co-dependent.

A partner who is smart, affectionate, loving, emotionally available as well as romantic.

A close circle of friends with whom I could tell anything.

A lovely supported extended family (instead of the dysfunctional, abusive mess they are).

This doesn't mean to say I'm not grateful for what I do have...relative good health, food on the table etc. but I'm staving off depression and have the opposite of the above, living in a kind of limbo state. Sometimes it becomes tiring being grateful for everything when fundamentally, decent relationships are missing in your life. It's not something you can just conjure up either. Needless to say, I am awaiting some therapy when covid eases.

OP posts:
User454876584 · 05/03/2021 21:47

Sorry, I realise how negative this all sounds and whining about the things I don't feel I have. I've been waiting for therapy for a good while (pre covid but then covid struck). I probably just needed a good moan instead of just getting on with things like I usually do. The thing is sometimes things are beyond our control and you can get into an 'if only' way of thinking. It's sad that I feel so dissatisfied about life (mainly about different relationships or lack of them). I am only just learning how to give myself compassion and self care...when I think I've just done nothing but give/be a carer throughout my life.

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