DS7 terrified of bees -just ran blindly into road,

[Thewishingchair123]

Hi there - just posting for advice really.
Just walking back from dropping a present off to a friend earlier this afternoon. We were walking on the pavement of a busy main road near to where we live, where cars go at high speed.
DS was holding my hand, we were chatting away happily and then we saw a large bumble bee about a metre away. I thought he would be okay as he was holding my hand but he panicked, let go of my hand and ran blindly into the road (almost half way into the lane). Car approaching had to brake heavily. Felt like DS was a split second away from being killed.
DS was clearly in a blind panic. I was aware he didn’t like bees at all, but his response has terrified me. I also feel responsible as I have a phobia of wasps (lesser extent with bees) and whilst I have tried hard to behave rationally when eg a wasp is in the house, I feel he has learned his behaviour from me.
Is there anything I can do, to help him get better techniques in place to deal with this going forward. It has scared the hell out of me. Anyone else had something similar and any advice hugely welcome. Thank you in advance.

Nothing helpful, sorry, but I wanted to give you a virtual hug as that must have been terrifying.

DD was like this last summer, out of nowhere.

One day we were in the garden and she honestly started screaming like she was being stabbed to death, all the neighbours came running! I was so shocked that I was very abrupt with her and basically told her she had to get a grip, that screaming the place down was way over the top.

May not have been the best parenting but it seems to have done the trick, and she seemed to realise she'd let it get out of proportion in her mind.

I actually think it was tied into other anxieties at the time (lockdown etc) as she's never been like it before or since.

Oh gosh. How scary for you. I guess for now you need to be super vigilant with him near roads.
No advice really except maybe can you contact the local beekeeper association for some safe exposure therapy and perhaps they will do a workshop? Or even have some useful advice.

@TheSockMonster thank you so much, that is very kind. Feel terrible and want to help him deal with it to prevent it ever happening again x

@GirlLovesWorld thank you. It’s definitely out of proportion with DS. I did not anticipate he would react like that and it has really shaken me up. Yes could be linked with other anxieties too related to lockdown. Thank you.
@YoComoManzanas thank you so much too. Contacting a local beekeeper is a really good idea re safe exposure therapy.

Yes he has learnt it from you , so many adults freak out around wasps and the kids copy . Can you explain that bees die if they sting you and they obviously won't do that unless that absolutely have to .. I always tell children who do it that the flapping and screaming scares them and they are much more likely to sting ( which I believe is true ) teach them to love bugs and not kill anything and to respect they have a place in the world too ( especially how important bees are ) !

Obviously so all this when there are no bees in the situation in a quiet moment .

Perhaps you could take him to talk to a bee keeper or something, to learn about bees. But don't confront him with a bee or lots of bees, just talk with an expert first.

@huuuuunnnndderrricks thank you - will definitely have that conversation. I and DP have previously made him aware that they only sting if they are afraid, but clearly this needs reinstating and I need to help him form a more proportionate response.

@ChameleonClara - thank you, great idea, I will look into this.

@SandSeaBeach - thank you too for such a helpful response. It is reassuring to know this this is something that can be ‘grown out of’. Thank you x

Poor you and your poor boy! This is something that a Clinical Psychologist could sort out in a few sessions. I'm a CP, and I love working with "simple" phobias - the treatment works quickly and it makes such a huge difference for patients. Please do find a local CP.

Maddie Moate did a video on her YouTube channel about how bees make honey - we have a lampshade with bees and DS developed a random interest so we watched it quite a few times. Does your DS like her on CBeebies? Perhaps he might get interested in them with the safety of knowing they are on a screen rather than right there - they are fascinating little things.

Big hugs to you op, it must have been so scary

That must have so terrifying for you it’s so hard to be rational when you are in a panic. I’m scared of wasps and once when I was little I fell from quite high up in a barn I was playing in flapping to get away from one.
Luckily just badly bruised and sprained wrist.
It could really help to learn about bees and what helpful little creatures they are and how they die when sting so they really don’t go about looking to sting someone.
Some good ideas about meeting a local bee keeper or similar.

DD was similar, such a phobia of them, spent half the summer running inside. I kept showing her clips / articles of bees collecting pollen and how important they are to the environment and ultimately our survival. (I just googled and added ks1 / ks2 into the search so it was age appropriate, luckily there’s lots out there from a planet protection point of view).

We’ve even planted loads of Bee / butterfly friendly seeds in our front garden now, which will hopefully flower this year. She now understands if they have a place to go they’ll be happy and not come near her

She’s still frightened of them, but can at least stay out in the garden without running away now. She realises they’re not likely to sting her.

I don't think I'd overreact here. There's a lot to be said for just maintaining calm and role modelling behaviour.

Waaahhh bee!

Oh yes, so there is, just ignore it, oh look there's a bird/friend/whatever. And repeat until you've proven to them that it's nothing to panic about.