If you have or have had a nanny...

[Bluemandm]

What would the one piece of advice be you’d give someone about to start the interview process? We’re using an agency but totally new to nannies and this wasn’t our original childcare plan but needs must!

I had a nanny and I’m going to say something here that is probably bloody mean but here goes. I interviewed her she seemed very nice and I employed her and I gave her a contract she said oh you haven’t added anything about maternity leave onto the contract, I thought hmm at the time but added it. Almost as soon as I employed her she then became promptly pregnant and then even though she only worked three days a week had a maternity appointment whenever she had the children. Of course I couldn’t say anything because it I would have been discriminating against her. At that point I had to engage a second childminder on standby to cover her maternity appts and then her leave.
I was a single parent on a shitty low income and ended up paying out a fortune for someone who I felt took me for a ride. I know I seem mean and bitter but I had impressed on her in the interview how my children had been through a lot and needed stability. Two weeks before end maternity leave of course she resigned. It left a really nasty taste in my mouth and yet what could I do apart from look like a discriminatory bitch. Yeah I just read that back I sound like a bitch.

I do think @Wellthisisjustfuckingbrilliant has a point actually - nannies are employees just like everyone else and have the same employment rights as any other woman. The days of “domestic servants” are long gone.

Only become an employer if you are willing and able to take on all the responsibilities that comes with. Also make sure you can afford it! Not just the nanny’s salary but food, extra heating/electric, mileage, expenses, maternity pay, sick pay, payroll, insurance, legal advice.

There are many other cheaper and easier childcare options where you simply use a service rather than take responsibility for employing someone.

@minniemango exactly and I think that was on me to actually get to the bottom of what does it mean to take on that cost. I saw it as no longer having to get the kids out of bed at 6am to drag them to a childminders for 6.45. And initially it was cheaper but then once I added all the other bills on top it cost me a small fortune. And I really wasn’t in the salary band where I could afford it properly.

Yes, it is really expensive. I sometimes see posts on here saying “I have three kids, childminder is £5 an hour so if I offer a nanny £13 an hour I actually make saving”.
Firstly, that’s a basic salary of £33k!
Have you factored in feeding the nanny meals & snacks?
Providing a car or paying mileage?
Wear and tear in your home?
Groups & clubs for the children?
Pension, maternity pay, sick pay?
Payroll costs?
Insurance?

It’s a lot of money and you also don’t want to be quibbling every time the nanny takes kids to soft play and buys herself a coffee, or invites another nanny and three kids over and cooks them all lunch.

Thank you these are all really helpful! I can understand the frustration with the maternity leave thing but am I right in thinking you can claim back maternity pay from the government so that shouldn’t leave me too out of pocket if that happens?

Unfortunately because we need a really long day (I work on front line NHS) a nanny is really our only current option. I know I’m going to need to use payroll, I’ll need some insurance and I’m hoping to support them to register with ofsted so I can use tax free childcare, is there any other huge costs ive overlooked?

Definitely agree with checking references yourself, and ask about how much time they took off sick.
Make sure you have a good contract in place that they sign etc, nanny tax and nanny paye have good templates.
They need to be able to cook healthy nutritious food for your children if you are going to be out all day, so they idea of asking them to make a simple white sauce is a good one. I've ask so asked for example weekly meal plans in interviews, to get an idea of what they can cook.
Definitely definitely do a full day trial shift. Doesn't matter if nannies don't like it. If they aren't prepared to show you how good they are don't hire them. There are a LOT of talented nannies around looking for work at the moment so you won't be short. Also from their point of view, I don't understand why they wouldn't want to do a trial shift to get to know their employer rather than grabbing the first offer, they want to know it's a good fit too!
The maternity leave thing sounds like a nightmare sorry that happened. Be aware of what life stage people are in etc as you want someone stable and long term. You actually can't claim the mat leave back :( I looked into this as it could have been a potential problem for us. I think I would find the disruption worse than having to pay mat leave though as statutory isn't very much.

@Bluemandm

Thank you these are all really helpful! I can understand the frustration with the maternity leave thing but am I right in thinking you can claim back maternity pay from the government so that shouldn’t leave me too out of pocket if that happens?

Yes that’s right but it’s more about the disruption to your family, the children in particular. If they’ve just got used to one nanny, then have to get used to a temp. Then the original nanny again (if they’re young they will have forgotten!).

You actually can't claim the mat leave back sad I looked into this as it could have been a potential problem for us. I think I would find the disruption worse than having to pay mat leave though as statutory isn't very much.

You definitely can claim statutory maternity pay back. I did this last year.

You can claim it back that’s right, however when financially you aren’t in a position to pay out twice (ie once mat leave then once to the replacement nanny) then wait for a rebate it can make life tough and then don’t forget at the end of their maternity leave they have accrued holiday, so again that’s more money to fork out. Plus if you are claiming for tax credits you may have to pay for them to be ofsted registered, I renewed and paid for her ofsted registration before she went off on mat leave so again that felt like another waste of money.

Ah okay we were told we couldn't but better if you can!
Yeah it's more about the disruption to the children... plus once they have their own, would they even come back? I will openly admit that I avoid women of childbearing age for this reason. It sounds so awful but I don't want the disruption.

Always always always follow your gut instinct. It's tempting when you get a bit desperate to overlook nagging doubts but they are always for good reason where your kids are concerned. I had some horrors - neglect, theft, smoking and coming into work hungover. Also agencies really aren't always interested in checking references as thoroughly as they might and I ended up falling out with one when they wouldn't believe me... it was a real lesson.

Think about the things that are important to you - be specific as it's easier than having to back track a month in when you discover they can't cook or whatever.

You don’t wait for a rebate. HMRC pay you (the employer) the equivalent of full maternity pay entitlement up front. So if the nanny returns early you have to pay the difference back to HMRC.

I use nanny tax and they arranged it all for me.

Ah see I had to claim a rebate, it was about 9 years ago now so can’t remember reasons behind it but for some reason there were delays.

@Bluemandm

Unfortunately because we need a really long day (I work on front line NHS) a nanny is really our only current option. I know I’m going to need to use payroll, I’ll need some insurance and I’m hoping to support them to register with ofsted so I can use tax free childcare, is there any other huge costs ive overlooked?

You can claim the statutory mat pay back, but make sure you budget for holiday pay for the nanny on mat leave and recruitment/agency costs for a temp to replace, and any cover needed for antenatal appointments.

Keep in mind that tax free childcare is a max of £2k a year.

Other costs - food, mileage, kitty for activities.

@Bluemandm

Thank you these are all really helpful! I can understand the frustration with the maternity leave thing but am I right in thinking you can claim back maternity pay from the government so that shouldn’t leave me too out of pocket if that happens?

You can claim back SMP, OP, but not holiday pay which of course you have to pay as employees accrue holiday pay whilst on maternity leave. You also need to pay a basic pension.

I would say, OP, also only contract to statutory sick pay, and enable anything else to be at your discretion.

There are some amazing, career nannies that are worth every penny, but there are also some that aren't. Start off on the terms that mean you are least out of pocket, and then your can always increase when your nanny proves to be reliable / excellent.

The hidden cost of nannies can be substantial. Consider things like:

• employers NI
• employers pension contributions
• holiday pay (quite a few nannies wanted more than statutory but don’t want to take less salary, I didn’t mind when people were upfront but a lot expected just to get extra days off when they wanted them)
• sick pay (a couple of our nannies had extended sick leave, we paid fully for one where we had a good relationship but it’s not cheap)
• electricity (our heating bill went up considerably)
• food
• activities for the children (couple of quid for a toddler group to begin with but older children cost much more, especially when they started to want to join school friends in full time holiday camps)
• travel for the nanny (kids are free in London but adults are not so ended up paying for a bus pass)

There are also male nannies, so don't rule them out.

@nannynick used to be a great source of info on here.

Like a previous poster, we also had a nanny who let us know she was pregnant very soon after she started.

We had hired as as 'nanny with own child' in that instance as the hours we were offering weren't very attractive to someone wanting a full time job. She had a three year old DS that she brought with her.

To be honest, it really landed us in it as I had two small ones at the time and she then took time off for appointments, wouldn't cook various things because of morning sickness nor pick up the children etc.

She was then very affronted when we said we wouldn't be allowing her to return with her DS AND the new baby.

Check out if she smiles.... I dislike grumpy / miserable nannies so do my children (makes you want to hide in your bedroom)
See if she is flexible if you need to work late on the odd occasion / b sit
Ive done a probation period which was good
Will she help you around the house (empty dishwasher) some will only deal with kids stuff nothing else
Check on last employer and how many sick days ....
I’ve had a very flakey one - Will the person have childcare issues if she has children - what happens when her children are sick ...

Oh shit!! I just remembered I also asked her to babysit obviously paying her extra and she sent me a message she meant to send to her other half saying well I’m never fucking doing this again its too much for me.

Yeah we weren’t meant to be.