If you're British and live abroad, do you think you'll ever go back?

[lifesnotaspectatorsport]

I left the U.K. in 2015 for what we thought would be a couple of years' adventure living overseas. But as time has gone on, and our lives have changed (new countries, new jobs, kids), somehow the idea of going 'home' doesn't remotely interest me any more. We don't even discuss it as an option.

I feel distant emotionally as well as physically - not helped by Brexit (which I'm pretty sure is going to tear the U.K. apart in due course) or the numerous awful governments that have done nothing to fix inequality, poverty, food banks, hollowed out high streets etc. Of course I miss my friends and family but in normal non-Covid times we can travel to see them regularly. And there just don't seem to be any other reasons to go back!

I wondered if anyone else who's been out of the U.K. a long time has started to feel this disconnect? Or if you do want to go back, what's pulling you?

I left the UK 15 years ago and have no desire to go back. I was 30 when I left, just out of a long term relationship and seized an opportunity.

It's been a bumpy road (divorce etc) but I also feel this 'disconnect', I've consciously uncoupled from the UK and watched it unfold from afar for four years. I actually feel safer and more secure where I live now; my elderly parents would love me to go 'home' but my home is here.

I can’t see myself ever going back, this is my home. The only things I miss about the U.K. are good Indian and Chinese restaurants, ironically.

My American husband would love to but I'm very reticent. A big part of that is our quality of living here in the US is so much better. I look at house prices in the UK and really bog-standard cramped properties cost double what our house here does... and we'd earn less in our respective careers to boot, even factoring in health insurance here.

I miss the NHS, all the history and the British countryside, but the UK seems to be on such a backslide around quality of life right now.

Been gone over twenty years. Wasn’t allowed to vote in the referendum so post-Brexit Britain can fuck off.

I'm still in the UK and don't blame the sentiments expressed. I hope you don't have a serial killer (by neglect) as your leader wherever you are.

No. Have a much better standard of living where I am now.

Nope. I left the country 20 years ago, after about 8 years I knew I’d never go back. Now brexit.,.

I’d love to know where you are all living. I would leave like a shot if I could.

I live in Portugal.

I left 22 years ago straight after uni and have been in Germany ever since. I always thought I would return one day. My DH is from a third country and has always felt a bit unwelcome and sometimes discriminated against here but felt so comfortable in the UK (he had often visited before we met) and I thought maybe one day we would move there together. Brexit and the shit show of the last few years have put paid to that idea and I have no desire to move back now.
I miss my family, especially with the situation now, but we would never have the same standard of life there as we do here.

It seems to me some people can be happy living abroad; good for them! I can’t. I’ve tried, I really have, but I miss Britain on a fundamental level somehow.

Being here in the US doesn’t feel like my “real life”, more like some sort of weird sabbatical and I’m always on the outside looking in.

I wish I could be happy here, everyone’s life would be easier and I wouldn’t be turning my DH & DC’s life upside down by dragging them all back to Britain after 6 years.

On a practical level, my profession here is very limited compared how they work in the UK. I’m itching to start my new job back in the NHS despite the 50% pay cut!

I don’t think so. I left 20 years ago. 10 years ago, I went back to the UK and lived there for a year but could not get the logistics to work as a single mum to two small kids so left again.

We’re very settled where we are now and I have a local DH which sort of seals it! I love visiting the UK though and it will be first port of call once travel opens up (responsibly) as it has been a long time since I saw my aged parents but I know exactly what you mean about feeling distanced. That one year, 10 years ago, I felt like such a stranger.

I've actually lived a third of my life abroad. I have permanent legal residency here (EU) and it can never be taken away from me. I pay into the local healthcare system, national insurance etc and have received state benefits during both lockdowns.

This country is on its knees (we're waiting for the tourists from May!) but the government has actually looked after its citizens quite well.

I've been here 27 years. Not quite half my life. That will be next year.
I'm still tied to Britain in many ways, and I love the couple of months a year I work there (well, up till last year obvs)
I could definitely live there again. I'm happy in both places.

Only if I was thrown out of the country I'm living in now and no other EU country (and quite a few non-EU ones) would let me in.

Interesting to hear I'm not alone in feeling disconnected.

Quality of life is absolutely a big factor for us. We get more living space, better food, cheaper restaurants and cafes, better public spaces, better and MUCH cheaper public transport - all of which means our income goes further.

Especially as a family now. Childcare is so expensive in the U.K. but you can get free or very cheap, quality infant school places where I live now from 3yo. Not only that but kids are welcome everywhere except the fanciest restaurants. I can sit with a glass of wine on a terrace watching my kids leaping around a well maintained playground, metres from my house. In the sunshine. Then have them come running over for a hot chocolate and the waiter slipping them a little cake or treat.

I don't think the U.K. is a family friendly place at all. Which saddens me.

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@nicobean Did you have a thread about making the decision with your husband and children to go back?

I guess the country you move to has a big impact. I've travelled a lot and generally I'm quite open to new moves ... but the US is one place I've never fancied living. I like to visit but I feel way more at home in Europe or even Asia.

@peak2021 I don't ... but I'm curious which country you're alluding to!!

We’ve lived abroad for 3 years now. I don’t think we’d go back to live in UK - although maybe when we are much, much older.

Our children have much more freedom here, are now bilingual and love their lives and schools here.

I can’t see us going back. A combination of Brexit and a mendacious Tory government who only give a fuck about lining their own pockets and so completely out of touch with those they were voted in to serve, but seemingly still able to get those same people to vote them in again by lying so convincingly makes me never want to set foot there again.
I do go to visit my family and friends (normally) twice a year. I love the country itself, it’s beautiful, and the people, mostly, but I hate what’s happened to it.
A friend of mine has just moved back there and that’s unsettled me a bit, but then I watch the news or talk to my friends and I know we’re better off not there. We’re in health care and working conditions and pay are so much better here. University costs are less for our DDs and the jobs they have to support themselves while studying pay well - they’ll be able to get on the housing ladder in the next couple of years!
We may move to Europe at some point in the future, but I doubt we’ll go back to the UK

I've lived abroad for over twenty years now. I'm in Ireland so not too far away at all, but I'm certain I will never go back.

Absolutely not in our plans. However, I have seen lots of people head back to take care of elderly parents so I can never say never.

I would be bloody miserable though. I don't see the point at all beyond family obligations