If you lost your father young...

[Notabove25]

What do you wish you'd asked or talked to him about beforehand?

We're facing the prospect of losing DH within a matter on month's. He's very ill and has no mobility, but he is "himself" FTB. We have DSs 17 & 19yo.

DH is wondering if there are any big (or little) discussions he should have now, that boys might regret later if they don't.

I lost my Dad at 10, but hadn't seen him in a few years.
I wish I knew whether he loved me.
I wish I knew what would have made him proud of me and my life.
I wish I knew some of his childhood and family memories.
I wish I knew what traits of his I carry ... what do I love that he loved? Pickles, art?
I think I want to know that he is present in the golden threads of my life as an adult through those answers.
I dont have those answers though 😢

Family recipes. My dad was from another country and made food from it he'd learned from his grandmother. I really regret not being able to make some of the delicious stuff he used to make for us

Thank you

So sorry you're going through this
I have no direct experience, but a while ago I did come across an app called 'Record Me Now' which I thought I might do for my own kids - it's full of questions that children who have lost parents have said they liked knowing the answers to. Hope it helps.

Mine were 13 and 11 when DH died, now 15 and 12, I think the only thing I wish I had managed to talk to him about doing were cards in special occasions, 18th, 21st, graduation, wedding and made DS a potato cannon as he made one for all my nephews

For me, it would be to know he was proud of me and to hear as many stories as possible, no matter how trivial! I love coming across something random that reminds me of a silly story about my dad.

I'd have hated any of the letters on special days though, I think it would have been quite traumatic for me. Of course I'll think of my dad at those times, but I know reading a letter would make me really feel the loss at what should be a time of celebration.

I'm 51 and Dad died when I was 12. I desperately wish I had more photos of him and film/recordings would be even better. The sound of his voice faded so quickly.