Really struggling today

[bloodywhitecat]

I just want normality but it feels like that is never going to happen. I hate the heavy feeling in my chest and the anxious feeling in my throat, I have been doing quite well recently but I am struggling at the moment. I think the lack of sunlight isn't helping, it is a grey day here again.

Hi @bloodywhitecat I’m probably the wrong person to reply as I’m feeling exactly the same so your not alone.
It’s the loneliness that I’m finding the hardest.

I just want to stay in bed all day but most days iv managed to force myself out even if it’s just a 10min walk round the block and the fresh air and bit of exercise is helping to lift the fog a little. (I normally do multiple exercises each day but I don’t have that in me at the minute)

Would that be something that might help you?

I'm afraid I have nothing to add but didn't want you to feel like nobody is listening. I hope your day improves.

I totally sympathise. I have another thread running about it.
Hang on in there, one day at a time, that is all I can suggest.

You're going through hell bloodywhitecat, so you are perfectly entitled to feel this way. How's your DP?

Same. Our firm is talking about redundancies, and then there's the whether or not or how to return to the office and when discussions going on, along with to pay or not to pay london weighting.... so much possible change on top of already the pains of lockdown is really getting me down today

@bearlyactive

You're going through hell bloodywhitecat, so you are perfectly entitled to feel this way. How's your DP?

It's his chemo day and he has a scan at the weekend which I think is adding to how alone I feel. I am dreading the results, he seems so well and I am dreading hearing those words that have come up at every appointment so far, "I have no good news for you I am afraid...". But at least he has no chemo next week so no bad temperedness from the steroids which has to be a blessing.

Thank you all, I have dragged my sorry arse, the dog and the baby out for a walk and do feel a bit better for it. I am going to crack on with my knitting, oh what an exciting life, as I have been raising money for bile duct cancer by knitting hats for donations.

Life can only get better for all of us hey?

How wonderful that despite everything you're going through, you're still making a difference (for the better) to other people's lives through your knitting. I am in awe of you

Sorry to hear @bloodywhitecat sounds like a very tough time for all involved.

Sending you much love OP xxx

Well, the baby has made my day. We are foster parents and this little one who is 11 months old has had a tough start in life, he has proved difficult to wean, there have been days weeks when I thought I should just put his food directly onto the floor and cut out the middleman but over the last few days a switch has been made. Tonight he's eaten a fish finger, last night he had sweet potato fingers and chicken and the night before he had chicken and a stick of carrot. Spoons are still the work of the devil and anything sticky on his hands makes him cry but at least he no longer gags at sticky things on his hands.