Rude and unnecessary email from work

[Helpmyhair2019]

Hello
I’ve had a horrid email from work today with a very nasty and patronising reponse to something I asked about politely and reasonably and all within my job role. I’ve checked with some good friends who are honest as I can sometimes read things wrong and they have all said that there is no question about, it was a rude response.

I answered again politely but I’m now left with feeling really quite shit that someone could be so rude and nasty. I know everyone has bad days but I’m not having a great day myself yet wouldn’t dream of just taking that frustration out on someone else.

I know in my head I just need to smile, nod, carry on and focus on the other nice emails I’ve got today but why is it so hard to not keep thinking and feeling shit about the one horrid one! Any tips greatfully received as it’s changed my whole day and that’s made me cross as well!!!

I've noticed at my work that people are getting on each others nerves more at the moment and reacting to stuff in a way that they normally wouldn't. I blame extended lockdown- it's really getting to everyone. Feels like caged tigers

Who sent the email - a colleague or your manager? Hard to tell without context, you might have hit a nerve about something going on behind the scenes, inadvertently.

People can be real dicks sometimes.

I love my job, but I hate dealing with the main office as they are really rude. They always make mistakes, but try and pass the blame onto employees. I'm always polite but I sometimes really want to tell them to go fuck themselves.

Sorry, that doesn't help you, but it is shit when people are rude for no good reason and extremely unprofessional. There's no excuse for it.

@Retrogal

I've noticed at my work that people are getting on each others nerves more at the moment and reacting to stuff in a way that they normally wouldn't. I blame extended lockdown- it's really getting to everyone. Feels like caged tigers

I've noticed this too, and from customers and suppliers who are usually very polite, it was terrible before the Christmas break too. 3 months of working with no childcare later and people are frazzled again.

Keyboard warriors and WFH is making it all worse.

Now people don’t have to see colleagues f2f some people use it as an excuse to treat people even more poorly, especially over email.

Thanks All. Can’t go into too much detail but need something done for the welfare of a child that seems tiny to the person I had to email about it but really isn’t. I know what I have asked for it correct and within protocol but clearly the person on the other end was stressed, in a bad mood and has reacted badly and very over the top! I agree - I think many work places are becoming angsty which I guess is to be expected with being in lockdown for so long. It would be nice not to take the angst out on a bystander who just happens to send a perfectly normal email request. I have no intention of complaining/bringing it up any further at work but I’m more annoyed with myself for letting it bother me when I was trying to do the right thing for the child involved (which will cause me a huge amount of extra work but the person i had to email won’t be affected by it at all!) Hey ho! Thanks for the solidarity replies - there are nice people out there but my god has lockdown brought out the twattish behaviour in some!

Is it worth sending a polite response asking why they have responded in these terms to a reasonable request?

I don’t think it is really. It was so unreasonable and I will get what I needed in another way so I don’t want to keep the conversation going really! I can honestly hand on heart say I’ve never sent a blatantly agressive and rude email in my life no matter how shit things are. I may have sent something someone has taken the wrong way but this was flat out rude. As i say, I’m more cross at myself for letting it bother me so much!

Ah, sounds like they were just being a twat then. Remember it next time they want something from you..

My boss's emails sometimes come across as really terse and rude but I know it's because she's mega busy so writes everything at a million miles an hour and clicks send without checking it.

@garlictwist

My boss's emails sometimes come across as really terse and rude but I know it's because she's mega busy so writes everything at a million miles an hour and clicks send without checking it.

Ha! I wince at some of my boss's emails when I'm cc'd in them, and she's sat next to me happy as Larry, it's just her writing style.

I hate to quote a cliche but it says more about them than it does about you.

I was on an informal Teams call last week with a colleague and my boss, and he said something about pulling some spreadsheet data into charts. I jokingly made a "ooh, fancy!" face, meaning to say just that - look at you getting all fancy with your charts!

But he immediately snapped "You do it then!" in an annoyed tone - he thought I was pulling a face to say he'd never get around to doing it, just as he never gets around to anything because he's too busy.

I was crushed that he could misunderstand me so badly and bite my head off, when he knows me very well and I wouldn't dream of undermining him. I didn't know what to say so fell silent, ended the call and stewed about it all weekend.

We've spoken since and he's fine, but I think it was his guilt and frustration coming out before he realised it was just me being jocular, as we always are with each other.

The person who reacted rudely to you is reacting to something going on with THEM, not you.

I had a colleague send me such a rude email once (and they are considerably junior to me) that I responded with I'm going to assume you didn't intend to be quite so rude. Kind regards.

They sent a grovelling message straight back. Would that help?

I don’t think that would help as I just want to move on really. I have a boss who sends very abrupt emails but like above posters she is just busy and likes to get straight to the point. And that’s fine! This one I got was totally different and very rude! Yes it will be something going on in her life I know. I just felt crap that I was the person that got the brunt of it. I would never ever send an email to a colleague like that. Particularly as it was clear it was to help a child in need - not myself! But thank you everyone for your lovely replies - in future I know to avoid this woman!