Can’t eat when stressed, now underweight. Is anyone else like this?

[canteatwhenstressed]

I struggle to eat when I am stressed. Over the last year I have gone from a normal weight (was fairly slim already) to being underweight. My BMI is now 17. I go through good periods where I eat okay and I don’t lose weight. Then I’ll get anxious and struggle to eat and loose more. I’ve lost 13 kilos in the last 10 months and now weigh 50kg (I’m quite tall).

I know I need to eat to gain weight, I look much better a bit heavier and I know it’s unhealthy to eat so little. But sometimes I just cannot eat. This is not related to body image, it’s pure stress. Is anyone else like this and how do I fix it? My GP doesn’t seem concerned but I am aware I am now underweight.

Thanks for any advice

It especially happens to me whenever I feel that someone is angry or cross or disappointed at me.

Luckily that doesn't actually happen that often but I often imagine someone is anyway, so making myself swallow food to keep surviving at those times is genuinely a physical struggle, hence the soft foods. It's hard to explain afterwards.

I'm diagnosed autistic so possibly something neurological is at play here too?

I get like this too. If I'm the slightest bit stressed or emotional my appetite drops through the floor and I just can't eat. I ended up losing over 2 stone without realising and have spent the last year struggling to gain/maintain my weight.

Wish I had some helpful tips to pass on but the only things that have worked for me are stress management and force feeding myself.

I struggle to keep wait on too, OP. It's not really appetite related I think that I just (a) have a fast metabolism and (b) am a real stresspot and that gives me quite a sensitive stomach so I don't seem to absorb the nutrients from food very often but sometimes anxiety does kill my appetite and it all becomes a bit of a chore. My BMI is similar to yours.

I started a thread on here about it ages ago and people had a variety of suggestions e.g. a teaspoon of nut butter whenever I could face it, foods (like lasagne) that is a combo of protein, carbs and fab. I do also eat a fair amount of junk i.e. pringles, digestives. It's probably not ideal and I suspect I'd feel better in other ways if I ate more cleanly and had less sugar / processed carbs but as soon as I take any measures to do that the weight drops off again. And, at 43, it makes me look pretty gaunt.

I'm actually trying to cut down on meat and dairy for ethical / environmental reasons but again I feel if I go too far down that route I'll just get even more scrawny.

weight not wait

@AtleastitsnotMonday salt and vinegar crisps work for me too!

The other challenge in our house is that DH is trying to lose weight and is a real all or nothing type so I'll buy biscuits and he'll scoff the lot and then feel awful about it

I'm like this too. When I'm upset my throat closes up (like PP's aunt) and my stomach's in knots and I'm totally off food. Literally can't stomach it, that's probably where the phrase comes from.

My DP on the other hand needs to eat when upset. I read that it could depend on whether you're an emotional eater or not, whether you use food to help you process your emotions. I don't do that at all, but my DP does.

Thank you all so much, I feel bad for some of you suffering from this but I’m glad I am not alone. Can’t talk about it in real life because people are like, well, I wish I had that problem! It’s not a good place to be in and I worry about the example I set for my children.

@canteatwhenstressed it’s really not nice when people make light of it. When I lost loads of weight over summer everyone was telling me how great I looked, asking how I’d done it. And I ended up telling most of them it was anxiety and depression because I couldn’t be arsed lying. And maybe it made a few folk stop and think before commenting on someone’s weight again. I was so bad I was starting to look into meal replacement drinks, which I’ve never done before, and I was genuinely worried about not having the strength to run after my toddler. I would have gladly accepted an extra two stone on me if it meant not feeling like that.

One thing I keep in mind if it ever gets too bad is CBD because it’s meant to be good for anxiety and stimulating appetite/easing nausea but I haven’t ever tried it. Hope you’re doing ok

I'm exactly the same as you OP. It's as though my throat has closed up when I think about sitting down and eating a meal. I just cannot do it. Even thinking about it makes me feel as though I can't swallow. It is entirely stress related, and not an eating disorder as such. It's just my body running on adrenaline and everything else shuts off.

The only thing that helps me is eating little and often. So I put popcorn in a bowl, because a mouthful of that is easier than a forkful of mashed potato. Or a couple of frozen grapes, instead of a bowl of ice cream. On a really bad day, I can't even handle a plate of toast, so I put crackers on a plate instead, and nibble at them, so I am at least eating something instead of nothing.

I'm severely anaemic & have various vitamin deficiences now, because I didn't eat properly for so long. I'm building my way back up to restoring my health, but my instinctive reaction when stressed is to stop eating, which gets noticed, so when someone comments 'oh! Good to see you eating again!' my stress skyrockets again... it's a vicious circle. It's not something I choose to do, it's something that happens to me. so no, it's not just you.

Little & often, and things like fortified cereal (weetos are excellent) will mean you're not doing long term damage. Take supplements too, so you don't end up too ill to even manage the smallest of meals. It's not an eating disorder, it's just your body reacting to stress.

I am like this, it became very serious once after an incredibly traumatic bereavement. I weighed around 7 stone and size 4 clothes had plenty of space. I ended up drinking fruit smoothies with double cream and ice cream added and little pieces of cheddar cheese. I grazed little amounts of food as often as possible. I couldn’t eat a full size meal for a few months.

I also had home made soups made with lots of different veg and again cream added. I get the throat closing and feeling as if your choking it’s a horrible sensation you have my sympathies.

Moderate stress turns me in to an over eater, but if I am truly about to go off the deep end then I can't eat at all. Last time it happened I had a stressful job with a horrible boss and a renovation that went horribly wrong and it was just awful.

I got through it with lots of high calorie drinks. I also seem to remember eating a lot of carrots and hummus.

I’ve never been like it for long periods, but I don’t eat or drink when stressed. If I’m triggered I can do a few weeks of not eating, and also barely drinking. I even find it hard to swallow water. My mum is the same with stress, she was so skinny when she and my Dad divorced.

You need GP support for stress, either talking therapy and/or medication. As an immediate help though I always find drinking original lucozade seems to perk up my appetite, so that’s my short term crutch to get through the day.

Oh I meant to say Propranolol works well on me, GP prescribed it a few times for me. Low dose, but it suppressed the adrenal response which goes into overdrive and stops me swallowing.

@Megan2018 yeah I tried Propranolol but I’m not sure it made much of a difference. Diazepam works a real treat in terms of allowing me to eat without anxiety, but obviously that isn’t a long term solution and my GP won’t describe it anymore, sadly.

@sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea @AgentCooper I love both your usernames🤩 Sadeyed, does your GP regularly check your bloods? I wonder if I should have mine checked.

I also relate to just being overwhelmed by the thought of a plate of toast😢 I make it for the children in the morning and think “this would be so good for me” and then I just can’t bring myself to eat it.

Have you tried smoothies? I've just got over 600 calories into me with just a drink. They come in really handy for days when eating seems like such hard work

Yes, my GP surgery does blood tests every few months to see how I'm getting on, and if things are improving. Being diagnosed with malnutrition was not much fun! It's probably a good idea to be asked to be checked out, especially if you think you might have symptoms of anaemia, as that can make you too tired to think straight which doesn't help if you're already stressed.

With regard to eating, I quite often deliberately give my two DC slightly bigger portions I know they won't finish, or cut up three pieces of fruit so I can pick at the leftovers. It somehow seems easier to swallow a slice of apple than to take a bite out of a whole one, if you see what I mean? I really do have to remind myself to eat though, because I just don't seem to get hungry these days.

But no, it's definitely not just you! I've always reacted to stress like this, and just been unable to eat until things calm down a bit. But do go to your GP if you can, because there might be things they'll pick up on, like Vitamin D deficiency or low iron levels. Small steps, and little & often

Yes I have this. Anxiety makes me feel like I'm permanently clenching my stomach muscles. I'm also prone to being physically sick (vomiting) when I'm upset. I've even gone to the point of cooking a pizza or something, then just turning the oven off and leaving it there as I cant face it.
I can also emphasise with what you say about being suddenly ravenous and eating high calorie foods too. I didnt eat yesterday, then got to around 4pm today and ate piles of crumpets with inch thick cheese on them.
Its crap because I'm well aware that the less I eat the worse my energy levels get and my mental health falls off a cliff- yet that's not enough to force myself to eat. Not much use here in terms of suggestions, but you have my sympathy