5 year old still struggling to write and hold pencil.

[olyolie]

My ds has just turned 5 and is in reception year at school. He is still finding it difficult to write as his pencil grip is very light. He only uses his thumb and first finger. I show him how to hold it correctly then within seconds he's holding in wrong again.

We have been having live lessons with his class and from what I can see most of the other children are writing very well by now and you can read what they have written. My ds is so far off that.

He tries so hard and is such a clever boy in other ways. I have no concerns with maths and reading for example.

I'm getting worried about him going back to school and not being able to do what the other children can.

Should I talk to the teacher about my concerns before he goes back?

We have really tried during learning at home. I'm hoping once he's back at school the teachers can help him properly.

My dd struggles with the writing too, also in reception, I bought some pencil grips but she didn't get on with those but I got her a pen that is meant to help and that seems to be working. She does still need reminding though. Her writing is very spidery and not neat at all! I'm not too worried though as from what I've read it's very normal for them to all be at very different stages.

Is he doing cursive? What's helped my dd is one of those wipe clean books and going over the letters every day (in return for a bribe!).
And she's a terrible rusher so trying to remember to take her time is key!

You can get pencil grips that put their fingers in the right place but some children get very upset by this. Have a look at the different devices shown on this link video.

www.understood.org/en/learning-thinking-differences/child-learning-disabilities/writing-issues/pencil-grips-occupational-therapy

Ds2 hated them all and has the worst handwriting. I worry about his GCSEs being marked as he isn't even consistent with his letter size or even writing on the line and he is 15.

I wish we had been more strict and that school had been too.

I don't think he would like the pencil grips. Maybe I should try them and see.
He tried writing his name today and got really frustrated as the pencil kept falling out of his grip.

I did look up some easy to hold pencils. I'm wondering now if the school will let him use his own pencil if he can get on ok with them.

Children need to build up their arm muscles to write properly. If he's struggling it may help to do some work on this. Things like doing monkey walks (putting weight on the arms) and painting walls with water help with this. Hand strengthening exercises can help too.

Hopefully someone with actual expertise will be along soon.... but I know my 3yo does lots of activities at nursery designed to strengthen his hand muscles. It's all fun stuff, like cutting with scissors, etc. But if you think he is not physically ready, maybe Google for ideas like that.

occupationaltherapy.com.au/improving-your-childs-pencil-grip/

There’s some different hand exercises here that might help improve his strength/stamina and grip. I’d give the pencil grip a go and see how he gets on. Not quite so easy at home but inclining the surface or using a vertical surface to write on can also help.

Do you have a chalkboard or painting easel at home?

Following because my ds is exactly the same. He has never really enjoyed drawing or craft activities, and he is left handed which may not help (those wipe clean books are useless for left handed children!).

He does enjoy playing with Lego and I encourage that because I think it is probably good for his fine motor skills.

Please keep going with anything that promotes fine motor skills. My DS was like this and at 11 still has the most appalling writing that is really not legible most of the time. I wish I had been much more pro active and pushed it more when he was younger and less likely to push back.

Both my boys were like this and I remember a teacher telling me that the muscles in boys hands develop later than girls. I left it to the school with my eldest (busy at work, he didn't particularly enjoy writing or drawing so why not?) however his handwriting is still shocking and it makes everything he writes look like he hasnt taken any effort or pride over it, which isnt the case at all.
With my youngest he's in Year 1 and I spent a lot of time throughout lockdown helping him improve his hand strength and with his letter formation and it's really helped. I would reccommend having a drawing and writing area set up in your house with lots of coloured pens and pencils, and sit down together regularly to draw/ write and have fun making pictures for each other, cards for Granny, writing stories, notes, shopping lists etc, anything really that gets him writing and drawing every day.