What was your 3 year olds social skills like??

[Queenie6655]

Hello all

Just wondering what your 3 year olds social skills were like?

My daughter will speak to children she has known for a year
With strangers she will run
Some people she will hide behind me

Younger children she tends to ignore
Someone said she could be asd
Her eye contact and pretend play skills are very good though

Checked online and she falls into 2 categories out of 18 for potential asd
I'm confused to be honest
She is my only child and we fled extreme DV so I do wonder at times the impact that had

Should have mentioned the DV was before the age of one
So not sure what impact this may have

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My son has a lot of delay in communication, speech as well as social skills. He will interact with children of all ages, but this has only happened recently he does socialise with adults a lot better.
He doesn’t realise emotions if someone’s sad ect, his speech is very unclear too which I’m sure has a lot of impact with his social skills.
My son tends to ignore strangers too and just stares, this could be a neighbour who he’s seen before and not had a lot of contact with, or people on the school run.
My son was also suspected for autism this time last year.
Has she had her hearing or eyesight tested?

Without seeing her in these situations it's difficult to really say but most of that sounds perfectly normal behaviour for a 3 year old. At 3 they are still very little and are only beginning to develop their social skills. Most 3 year olds will at the stage of liking solo play & will tolerate parallel play (others playing alongside them) but are not yet at the stage of starting interactions with their peers - this is stuff they need to learn.
It's also not unreasonable to be shy, quiet or a bit disconcerted around people (particularly adults) they don't know.

Also meant to say - as a result of the DV are you sometimes anxious around unfamiliar people as she may pick up on that which is perfectly normal for both of you. Does she attend nursery? It might be worth having a chat with them if you are concerned to see if they have any concerns.

Ds had been in nursery part time since he was 9 months and the rest of the time he was not with me he would be with my mum and her old lady friends , so he was quite confident and waffled on like a pensioner!
Myself and his dad are outgoing also so that makes sense .
Hes 7 now and will chat to strangers adult or child quite easily. It's got to the point where I'm encouraging him to tone it down or he will start to look precocious

4 kids and at 3 they had virtually no social skills!

They were comfortable with family but they could change their mind at any point. People they adored suddenly became people they were shy around. They would suddenly engage with a random stranger on the bus but in the same day avoid their auntie they had known scince birth.

I have always viewed it as they were waying people up for themselves instead of been led by me. Yes you say I must like my auntie but do I really??? This stranger seems nice you say no but do you really know???

I wouldnt look at this as a sign of a future problem. I saw it as natural development in trusting your instincts not as a negative.

I want to say , being shy of strangers is absolutely not a bad thing . I worry so much about ds and how trusting and friendly he is with strangers

My DD was an extremely shy toddler. She took absolutely ages to warm up to new people and often never did! She's 5 now and a little social butterfly! Granted we've not seen many people for a while but she's so much different with her grandparents and thriving at school.

My DS has always been very outgoing, they are complete opposites!

I wouldn't worry OP, if she's fine with you and immediate family then hopefully she will come round.

Does she go to nursery?

Gosh these are so so helpful

It was someone else saying ASD to me got me worried

She has many strengths
Lock down, only child and no play dates is another factor
She does show some interest so that's a good sign

Thanks all

And yes to being hesitant with strangers!! Def not a bad thing xxxx

She is back to pre school next week she has done 6 months and they said she is happy but quiet there