Upset my friend and I feel bad.

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

She stays here sometimes - single person kind of 'bubbled' with us and we work together.

She only really comes here because she has nowhere to hang out. I like my space and she lacks boundaries.

She's also hard work. Everything is about her. Everything.

I'm feeling unwell. And I'm having a bad mental health day. Mentioned it this morning hoping she"d go home. She hung around. I just couldn't cope. Usually I'd get on with it but today was hard.

She's loud, she's untidy (my house resembled a squat while she was here) and everything has to be her way.

She's the kind of person who helps herself to a tin of pineaplle, eats one chunk and then puts the rest of the tin in the fridge to fester there for eternity. Also has her phone making noise ALL of the time. Stuff like that.

At 5pm I have her a tenner for a taxi home. I felt like death, when my house is a mess my anxiety and up and I just wanted some quiet.

She stormed out.

Now I feel guilty as well as all of the above.

She doesn't really have anyone else, but I just couldn't handle it any more.

I'm just venting, BTW, not expecting a solution.

Don't feel guilty. You have just taken the first step in putting in boundaries for this person. That is a good thing.

Just because she doesn't have anyone else, it doesn't mean you have to destroy yourself for her.

Your friend is clearly upsetting you but I doubt she feels bad/guilty about it for a nanosecond. This may be the reason she doesn't have anyone else.

The solution is that tell her that you need some time to yourself.

She's a bad friend and you have done nothing wrong. You are allowed to prioritise yourself and don't always have to put others first you know. I need space too and hate mess so I get completely how you feel.

That sounds like £10 well spent. Enjoy your peace and quiet.

Let her stew if she wants to.

Look after you.

I think she is the one who should be feeling bad. Enjoy your space and don’t give her another thought. Don’t let her spoil your peace of mind when she isn’t even there.

Think about it the other way, would you stay at your friend's if you knew it took a toll on her? Do you enjoy something about the friendship at least? It's nice that you care about others' needs but you have needs too and you have a right to look out for them.

Just because you're bubbled doesn't mean she has to live with you near enough. You're well entitled to tell her once or twice a week is more than enough! I'm like you OP and need my space and that'd drive me insane.

I'm bubbled with someone. I see them once a week for a few hours.

She seems to be spending most of her time with you. That's not what bubbling is for. Well done for getting her a taxi. Next time she comes (if she does) you're only available until (insert time of your choice). And it's no more than, say, four hours. And you're not available more than twice a week.

You mention "us". So blame the other person if you have to. They're entitled to their space, so you don't have to lie. I'd be infuriated if a partner or flatmate inflicted someone like your friend on me every day.

She sounds utterly inconsiderate and is taking advantage of your hospitality. She clearly hasn’t thought about what impact her behaviour has on you.