Would you accept this offer?

[GirlofInkandStars]

We need to do some work in our house. It’s all planned - including remortgaging to pay for it. Now however PILs have offered to pay for the works. We have accepted their help before when our financial situation was a bit shaky, but we are both now in secure jobs and had no trouble arranging a mortage, however we had not actually returned the mortgage confirmation form before FIL made his offer.

I get on very well with PIL and they have never been controlling or funny about their previous help. They can easily afford it. However I just feel that maybe it is time for DH and I to actually be a bit more independent. Is this a silly reason to turn down their offer? DH is very happy to accept.

Wrong board - but I loved The Mercies and bought Girl of Ink and Stars to read to my kids, who weren't keen. I'll get to it in my own time.

Yes I would gratefully accept, but obviously make it clear we don’t want them getting into financial difficulty themselves. It’s nice to do kind things for others.

If your PIL can afford it, I see no reason not to accept. There's no virtue or benefit to getting yourself into debt (remortgaging, where you will pay interest) when you have relatives that are willing and happy to help you.

It sounds like DH has a closer family with greater norms of assistance than the family you come from.

I don't know what the connection with feminism is here, but anyway. If the relationship with the in-laws is good, I'd accept, but there is one thing you haven't mentioned. Has the husband got siblings who haven't had generous gifts? I'd worry about jealousy between them if there's a question of favouritism.

oops - just realised what board this is in. I’ll ask for it to be moved to chat!

I would accept because I think I t's their way of gifting you some inheritance in advance and they probably "approve" of it being spent on your house rather than being "frittered" away.