My uni age son says he has ADD

[FloraPoster]

My son is in his first year at uni. He under performed with his A levels. He is now really struggling to keep up with what I suspect is not that heavy a workload at uni. He's told me that he thinks he has ADD and the meds would help him focus. He's kind of broached this with us before, but got freaked out by the thought of getting professionals involved. Part of me feels that he probably does have some sort of borderline ADD condition, though whether it actually qualifies for medication I wouldn't know. He is a really clever person who has under-performed his whole school career. His twin brother was diagnosed with ADD at school and took medication for a short while, then dropped out of education straight after GCSEs. They have a high performing older sibling whose incredible work ethic has made him feel bad about himself for a long time. I'm not sure how to approach exploring ADD in an older teen. We could afford to get private help. If anyone has any recommendations or advice please let me know. This is my first time posting here in about ten years, hope I'm doing it right.

My husband was assessed in his 30s. He's very high performing and has been all his life. I think in many ways the ADHD has benefited him (our son also has it - and I can see the benefits there too. The medication make him able to focus on one thing - previously he was doing everything, successfully, but exhausting himself! He was assessed privately.

Do you think student support at his Uni could be a starting point?

Mine was discovered when my DC were diagnosed via the background check - I saw myself as generally lacking in 'good' qualities. I was about 45 years old.

ok, this might be totally off, but just wanted to put this out there... its very common for uni students to self medicate with ritalin to help them concentrate. this is the med given for add/adhd. do you think he might have put 2 and 2 together and come up with 5? either he wants access to the meds, or hes premepting you finding some in his stuff... or hes tried them and they have helped therefore he thinks he has add?

if you/he genuinly think he does then of course see the gp, but its very rare for it not to have been picked up earlier at school. asd is more likely to have gone unnoticed. again sorry if ive got it wrong.

Ds1 was diagnosed at 17 with mainly inattentive adhd by a private consultant psychiatrist as we didn't have 2 years to wait for nhs referral (he was in year 13 doing a levels). We chose a consultant who also does nhs adult adhd services- not sure whether that's available in your area but there are useful links in this link:

www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/problems-disorders/adhd-in-adults

Its worth investigating - ds1 redid year 13 and is now first year uni coping well on meds. He's also much happier with himself and less frustrated.

shorter queues through psychiatry-uk who have an nhs contract and can do everything via phone and zoom

bit of paperwork, and needs a gp to refer, but my dd is being diagnosed through their service now. Waiting list is a couple of months rather than years. If diagnosed, they handle finding the right meds and dosage too before handing off to GP

psychiatry-uk.com/right-to-choose/

If he feels he has significant issues with attention, is seen as clever but has a history of underperforming, and has a sibling with ADD - I would suggest it is definitely worth him getting assessed. It is not rare for it to have not been picked up in school, especially if his is particularly clever.

If you can go private then it's probably worth it as NHS waiting lists are generally incredibly long. Be aware that there then can sometimes be difficulties getting NHS GP to take over prescribing of medications with private assessment, but this is dependent on your area.

DD has ADD and is her first year at uni. She has been medicated since she was 14. The medication does help her focus but that is less of an issue now she is studying a subject she loves, A Levels were the same. The medication does help her focus on things that are necessary but don’t interest her (she would not have passed maths GCSE) without but the biggest benefit we see that is that she is altogether a calmer person, less prone to going off at tangents, and hugely reducing impulsive behaviour, which was a real issue!

Thanks to everyone who posted above. It's actually so helpful just to have some input and a range of views. My partner feels that laziness is the main factor in our son's under performance and thinks he's looking for excuses for his lack of work. Given that our other son was diagnosed and treated, I feel that we must at least explore that possibility with this son. All I know for sure is that he is deeply unmotivated about almost everything. @TAmumto3 - I did hope that the fact he was studying his 'favourite subject' would help him to focus, but it doesn't seem to have done. @FunTimes2020 he won't investigate student support. @memememe Could be he thinks the medication would make his life easier. But he does know from his twin's experience that it's not a straightforward solution.

Ds recently diagnosed at 25, meds have helped hugely and he has stopped panicking about his Masters.

This is an interesting thread. My ds has dyspraxia and gets DSA support - his DSA tutor has questioned ADD. He really struggles to concentrate on anything which makes remote learning a challenge. this is a long-term problem. He never made or used notes at school and revised at GCSE and A level by using apps and watching videos. He is also struggling with sleep. His brother has ASD and ADHD. I think I might suggest accessing the service linked above for him.

Its not clear whether he has the idea of meds through his brother or as PP said I also wondered if he had tried self medicating with ritalin.

Ultimately if he pursues a diagnosis it goes on your record (you might want to check if you go private) but there is no obligation to disclose it to employers. It may be required to disclose it for some jobs e.g. police armed forces, driving HGV but it doesn't mean you can't do these jobs. Pretty sure lots of Police with adhd and it is a very good career if you have it! Also, if you apply for life insurance in future you may have to disclose that you have seen a private psychiatrist and this can mean some policies are not available to you.

What he should think about is what he hopes to get from a diagnosis and make a decision from there. Benefits of a diagnosis would also be student support.

Also there is Access to Work which provide coaching on getting into work, recommendations for reasonable adjustments for employers e.g. dictation software, individual coaching sessions and most of this is free through a government grant.

Although you say its the high performing older siblings work ethic that has made him feel bad about himself, I would say that this won't be the only factor in self esteem. Even if he didnt have a high performing older sibling, its likely that his adhd in itself has presented enough challenges to make him feel low about his abilities.

Russell Berkleys Essentials of Adhd for parents on You Tube gives a good overview of motivation and adhd.

There is a very helpful Facebook group called Adult ADHD UK which I'd recommend. Not everyone is formally diagnosed but there is lots of support.

@memememe

ok, this might be totally off, but just wanted to put this out there... its very common for uni students to self medicate with ritalin to help them concentrate. this is the med given for add/adhd. do you think he might have put 2 and 2 together and come up with 5? either he wants access to the meds, or hes premepting you finding some in his stuff... or hes tried them and they have helped therefore he thinks he has add?

if you/he genuinly think he does then of course see the gp, but its very rare for it not to have been picked up earlier at school. asd is more likely to have gone unnoticed. again sorry if ive got it wrong.

It's not rare at all for it to not be picked my in childhood. Many many people are increasingly being diagnosed as adults. If you are inattentive type (ie minimal hyperactive/impulsive traits) then it's very easy to miss.

A common "story" is massively underperforming compared to intellect and getting through GCSEs but failing/underperforming at A level and above.

If you are very bright you can coast GCSEs. Not possible with A levels.

I have ADHD. Diagnosed at 47!

ADHD is one of the most heritable disorders out there. I can't remember the percentages on twins but it's very high.

I think if he has a twin with ADHD it's highly likely he has it too.