Anxiety from neighbours

[Wineandcakequeen]

Can any one suggest things I can try to help me with severe anxiety caused by noisy neighbours please?
I cannot block the noise out whatever I try and I already wear ear plugs a lot. My only hope is to avoid letting them effect me somehow but I have heart palpitations when the noise begins I shake and feel sick too. I don’t want to go onto medication as I am planning to ttc soon. Complaining didn’t work as they refused to help me and it made the noise worse in retaliation. I am desperately trying to move but until that happens I need to find another option.
If there is anything else that worked for you I would appreciate hearing from you. I am so stressed and unhappy.

Oh you poor thing. There is nothing worse and it causes so much anxiety.

I tried everything but the constant noise and anti social behaviour took over my every waking thought. I used to stay overnight with a friend at least once a week to have a break but sometimes that was worse because I would drive home in tears.

Please do try to move as soon as you can. My health still hasn't recovered from it.

That sounds very difficult for you. What sort of noise do they make, has it ever been reported..do you own or rent your property.

Thank you both it is loud music and tv volume, plus slamming doors, arguing, 3 dogs barking all night and diy during the evenings. They are aware it affects us but they do it more on purpose. I am renting and so are they but when I have complained to environmental health and the landlords nothing can be done. Every time I hear them I get palpitations and stomach pain I just don’t want to be negatively affected by it anymore because it is making me so unwell but I can’t wear ear plugs all day as I have children and they also give me ear infections.

If your landlord cannot help you can you move elsewhere. You are entitled to live in peace.

I suffered through the same and it affects every part of your life. I never found a way of dealing with it although I went through a short period of less anxiety from knowing I was selling up and would be out of there soon. Unfortunately it took us a year to sell up and move and in that time their behaviour got worse.
Make sure you do your research on where you move to. Our first night in our new house had music pounding through the walls which just brought back the fear we'd felt in the old house. It's not a bad as it's not all day but we now also have to put up with all our neighbours burning garden waste day after day.
Don't jump into moving to any old house just to get away from the neighbours as you could be jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

You are right catfeet I am being unrealistic by considering any home and area just to leave here because I feel anywhere is better, but I know there is the risk of worse neighbours elsewhere. I am taking kalms pills to see if they will relax me enough to block it out but I find myself listening out for it because I know it is coming at any moment. I am scared of making the tiniest sound as they then bang on the wall and tell neighbours we are loud and wake them up which is a lie. No one wants to move because of COVID so I don’t think I will have any luck moving any time soon and summer is much worse when all the doors and windows are open.

We couldn't do another summer there, my mental health wouldn't have coped so I know how you'll be fearing the better weather with the extra noise.
Both me and my DP were so affected that even when we were away from the house, any noise similar to that made by our neighbours put us on edge, as if we had forgotten we weren't even at home. It shows how it takes over your life and ruins every day.
I really hope you can find somewhere else before it gets any worse for you.
We even considered moving into my mum's spare bedroom with our baby it got that bad - and there's no way I'd normally consider living with my mum and her 12 dogs even in an emergency.

Thank you and sorry to hear you had to go through the same, some people are unbelievably nasty. Whenever I go out the palpitations begin when it’s time to go home and I’m often shaking by the time I pull into my road dreading what’s to come. The frustrating thing is that their neighbour the other side doesn’t mind the noise and has reassured them of this so they are continuing on purpose because it only affects us. They have convinced other neighbours I am making it up and telling them what to do in their own house. I couldn’t imagine being the sort of person who willingly chooses to upset a family! I’m glad you go out, it gives me hope that I will eventually get away and be free. It’s so hard to stay positive though.

What used to really irritate me was when people said 'just ignore it' - as if that's even possible when it affects your life so much.
I used to avoid coming home, wandering around the supermarket for long periods of time or being incredibly slow at tasks outside the house just so I didn't have to go home. We used to spend a lot of time just driving around looking at houses we were interested in. I used to have palpitations too just at the thought of going home.
They came out hurling abuse at us the day we moved which made me so glad to be getting out.
Do you need to stay in the area? Could you move further afield for a better chance at another rental?

I feel the same about being told to ignore it and other words of wisdom. It doesn’t help because no body else has to listen to it or understand how it feels to let it grind you down daily. I am usually a strong person who sticks up for myself but in this situation you can’t because you’re trapped living next to them 24/7.
Before lockdown I would sit in my car for an hour waiting for my children to finish school rather than go home after work to have time to myself just because I knew I wouldn’t get any peace anyway. I’d spent my days off in shopping centres or begging friends to meet me, it’s a really miserable existence. I’m happy to move slightly further out but I need to be within 30 minutes max for my children’s schools and work. I’ve accepted I need to sacrifice our lovely home to avoid them but I would be very upset and bitter if I needed to take my children out of their schools they love.
They sound like awful people I am glad you managed to get away. People like that end up messing with the wrong person eventually! I am always daydreaming of my last day and how happy I will feel driving away.

When do they sleep? I'd have my tv volume on at full blast and have moved my tv right up against their bedroom wall and I'd keep doing it until they realise the way they get some peace is to give you some.

They don’t actually sleep they sit up all night drinking alcohol and blaring their music so unfortunately I can’t try any pay back ideas during the night myself. If we make any noise in the afternoon when I assume they’re asleep then they bang on the walls for hours and then the bass is stronger that night as punishment. I can’t win whatever I do.

They sound so much like my old neighbours! We used to have music pounding until 6am often. If my baby so much as sneezed they'd be banging on the walls - her first year was ruined by them as we couldn't enjoy her. We were permanently stressed and tired. Ditto with the 'punishment' noise too.
I took 3yrs of noise, music, banging, shouting, arguing, drunken behaviour, police coming to arrest them for fighting etc. It drove me out of a house I loved for 15yrs but we moved a couple of weeks ago and I'll never regret it. I just hope she annoys the wrong person one day and gets what she deserves.

You might have to move to a less lovely home but it will be worth it. Unfortunately people tend not to tell the truth when you ask what the neighbours are like but it's very unlikely you'd encounter anyone as awful as your current neighbours. It would be worth moving further away to ensure you don't bump into them.

I understand that you dont want to move just incase it's worse but you would have to be so very unlucky for that to happen.

I'm looking at buying somewhere and I'm only considering detached even if I compromise on size.

Some people get off on it I'm sure of it. I always thought with my awful neighbours their lives must have been so small that they enjoyed upsetting everyone. The issue is that no one is on the side of the victim.