How do I offer family jewellery as potential engagement ring

[rubiesanddiamonds]

NC for this...

I have inherited several potential engagement rings and would very much like my future daughter in laws to have them but only if they want them. If they want new that's fine.. I'd never want them foisted off (they will have them one day anyway) and would want them to have the engagement ring of their choice.

However there are some lovely stones that could be re set, and I'd like my sons to know they are available should they be wanted.

Two of my sons are in long term relationships and a proposal wouldn't surprise anyone. How do I tell them they are there if they want them, without sounding pushy, or expecting anything?

Just as you've described above.

Make your sons aware that the rings are available and you're also happy for the stones to be re-set if they/their partners like the gems but not the style.

Explain there's no pressure/expectation rather it's an opportunity should they wish to take you up on it when the time comes. If they/their partners want a new ring then that's fine and no offence taken.

You say you have these rings, which are available as they are, or for the stones to be reset, should they fancy using them? While making it very plain you’ll take no offence if they’re not wanted. For instance, I would absolutely not have wanted a ring that was anything to do with DH’s family. I like them, but I’m not clan-minded, and would have felt uncomfortable with the implicit familial claim.

No advice as such, but just to say you sound like a lovely future MIL

I have my mums engagement ring and would like DP to use that if ever he decides to propose formally, as it is meaningful to me.

I’m sad to say, a ring from his side of the family probably wouldn’t have the same meaning to me, and while I’d be delighted to be given it in future (if it was a style I liked), for an engagement ring I’d be more likely to use the stone and have it made into something of my choosing.

However, definitely worth asking them - I’d be inclined to run it past your sons first but also make sure that if either of them take you up on the offer, that their GFs are happy with it. It would be awful if the message didn’t get through via the boys and their GFs felt obliged in some way, rather than taking your generous offer as intended.