Changing mindset around booze

[Diddledumpling22]

I wouldn't say I'm a big drinker but I do enjoy a drink at the weekend. However I'm finding that once I open a bottle of wine it tends to all get drank even when I've only planned to have a few glasses - no pearl clutching at drinking a whole bottle in one sitting please, it's only 3 large glasses over several hours.

The problem is I then tend to stay up late, sleep badly and then be written off the next day. At the moment I am trying to exercise and walk more at the weekends but if I've had a skinful the night before it just never happens and I eat badly too.

But despite doing this time and time again I just can't get out of that 'ooooh it's Friday time to open a bottle of wine because I deserve it' mindset. It's probably habit more than anything.

Does this resonate with anyone and how can I get out of this bad habit? It's much nicer to wake up feeling fresh and have a energetic day outdoors but yet I keep doing the same thing over and over.

Bump

I get this...
I started buying a couple of cans of ready mixed gin and tonic and then I can only drink that... only open a bottle if I've got company or DP is sharing. Obviously some weekends I end up drinking more but definitely keeps me from 'just one more glass' on the nights it's unnecessary!

Honestly one way is to schedule something else for a Friday night. Sometimes DH and I do a workout together on a Friday evening and then have something lovely like salmon on the bbq after. Easy not to drink that way.

Sounds fucking boring doesn’t it but is actually quite nice and sets you up for a fresh feeling Saturday morning

I'm much the same as you OP. I found a way around it was to buy the half bottles, then progress onto the mini bottles! You soon get used to it.

I'm also trying to find a way to give up completely!! But I don't like the idea of giving up forever. Not having it in the house at all is really helpful. Or like I said before buy smaller quantities.

Finally you could do it like smaller quantities, then have a week off, then the following week a small quantity. Working down to less and less frequently. So you've still got a 'treat" but it's much rarer and smaller.

can you buy those small bottles instead?
put thd execuse in your calendar?

I buy boxed wine for this reason. There are some lovely varieties, and it doesn't matter if you just want one small glass or two, or just a splash to go in some cooking. tbh if I really fancy a bit more to drink I'll just open a (slightly nicer) bottle anyway.

If you've a problem with drinking a whole bottle though, surely a box would be even more dangerous? For me it would be lethal! Once I have a couple of glasses, I just want more and more....

I used to be like that but my tolerance just nose dived when I hit peri menopause. I'd feel bloody dreadful after a large glass. So I've knocked it on the head. I just couldn't face feeling hungover.
It's about breaking the habit. In my case it really didn't take long ( a month maybe 🤷🏻‍♀️) now it never enters my head to have one.
If you knew me in my 30's/early 40's you'd never believe me!

Yeah I don't think I could be trusted with a box, id definitely lose track of how much I was guzzling!

No matter how much I like to wake up hangover free on a weekend I suppose I also really like kicking back with a glass/bottle of wine too. I am going to try and totally avoid it for the next few weeks and then maybe introduce lower quantities as people have suggested. The hangovers, tiredness and wasted days just aren't worth it...

For me, it helped to realise that I wasn't a victim of the situation. The alcohol wasn't a separate identity, overwhelming me every time I had it in the house. It had no more power than the bottle of shampoo in the bathroom to get into my mouth.

I spent my whole life trying to win the war against alcohol. Having it in the house meant drinking all of it, every time. Then suddenly I realised that there was no war: my opponent had no weapons, no strategy, no power. Now I just feel stupid if I think about overdoing it. I've had a couple of slip ups, but by misjudging it rather than feeling compelled to drink it all. I've poured a glass and chucked half of it in the sink. I finally understand the meaning of 'one too many' rather than '10 too many'.

It's about realising that you are in charge.

Sounds great but how did you switch into that mindset though @Eckhart? Did it take time? Or was it a sudden thing? did you slowly work up to it?

Does this resonate with anyone and how can I get out of this bad habit? It's much nicer to wake up feeling fresh and have a energetic day outdoors but yet I keep doing the same thing over and over.

It resonates with me and what I did was buy a bottle of sparkling mineral water to make spritzers.

That way I could still have 3 glasses of 'wine' and enjoy them just as much, but in reality it was half the bottle rather than a whole bottle.

It tasted odd at first (but you can start by making them stronger) and now I honestly don't like the taste of wine without the fizzy water - it's odd tasting and too strong.

Best of both worlds as you get your weekend wine and wake up feeling fresh headed.

@fabulousspider

It's the truth. I just recognised it. In the same way you notice that a shelf is wonky, and then you can't unnotice.

We buy boxed wine. It means we don't feel like we have to share a whole bottle. It really worked for us. Measure the amount you're drinking - I know exactly where to pour up to in the glass for 125ml!
Plus do the Drinkaware app and note down every drink as you have it. I was a slave to the app for 2 years and religiously started within the 14 units every well. This lockdown I've ditched it, but I'm not drinking much more.

I know exactly what you mean. I also self sabotage with alcohol. Questioning now whether that treat is really a treat or doing me harm!

I couldn’t imagine giving up entirely either but I am looking to have a number of committed booze free days each week.

Bizarrely I find the box / bagged wine trick can work - unless you are in extreme self sabotage mode. Yes - it’s easy to drink more but I will also genuinely have 2 large glasses and leave it at that. There’s something psychological about knowing there’s one large glass left in a bottle and being able to see it, whereas that’s not the case with a box/bag. M&S and Sainsbury’s both do some half decent ones.

The only other way I manage to successfully cut back is by thinking about the calories and having gin and slim instead. I genuinely don’t love that as much as wine so find I drink it more slowly and only have a couple but still gives that buzz / release.

lockdown has been odd I’ve had points where I’ve drunk every night, but the last few weeks I’ve been buying a bag which has lasted 3 weekends and I’ve shared a bit too.

things that have helped have been having main meal at lunch time, it’s too early to drink and I won’t if I have work in th afternoon then it is odd having wine with sandwiches for tea.

Buying small bottles so I’ll just have one
Making a conscious decision to not drink during the week.

Menopause, some nights I just don’t like it, others I make up for it.
DH making me feel guilty cos he’s just having water.

Also read an interesting article on the effects of alcohol on the covid vaccine. It said you should avoid it two days before and two weeks afterwards as it inhibits the body building up the maximum immunity.

I didn’t show my dps they’d never manage it.

www.diabetes.co.uk/news/2020/jan/people-who-receive-covid-19-vaccine-should-avoid-alcohol-before-and-after.html

Here’s the link, as with anything covid related though for every article saying one thing, there’s another saying the opposite.

I think a period of abstinence is a good way forward as you'll lower your tolerance. I would be sick if I drank a whole bottle of wine - that is not a judgement in anyway, but I'm just demonstrating where my tolerance now is (there have been times in my life where a whole bottle would have been no problem).

I'm now a 1 glass = lovely warm drunk feeling, 2nd glass - last one which will tip me over into silliness and I know that if I reach for a 3rd I will feel rough as hell the next day. This is with 175ml measures.

However, I don't think I could have cut down to that level without a couple of months of holding off entirely.

Your trial as you suggest is good. Perhaps donate the savings to a charity, it has a purpose other than your health then.

I read the alcohol experiment. DH & I both did & we haven't had a drink this year (& were easily drinking much more than you have said)

I turned my thinking around by trying a couple of books and signing up to the Annie Grace 30 day alcohol free challenge.
Things like, 3 glasses of wine isnt a bit deal. But doesn’t change the fact that it is a whole bottle 🤷🏻‍♀️ I would accept that - I did as I was similar (but with gin).
Alcohol is an addictive poison and the more you drink, The more your body wants.
The relief/relaxation you feel after that first drink is just your body and brain getting its “fix” - it doesn’t try relax you.

I started by reading Alan Carr easy way. Then read another book called Alcohol Explained.

Cutting down never has worked - I’ve tried so many times and always end up back where I was, or even worse!

I’ve not had a drink since mid January which is the longest I’ve had booze free since I was pregnant/breastfeeding. Pretty sad when I consider the kids are 9 and 11.

I feel so much better for it. Not sure how I’ll deal with when lockdown is lifted and all the social cues and temptations are back

I love wine, 2 bottles spaced over the weekend was always the norm for me, I'd have 3/4 of a bottle Fri & Sat & the half a bottle that was left I'd have on Sunday. Then I got to the stage where I could drink a whole bottle in a night so I'd have to buy a 3rd bottle for Sunday. Or if I started drinking on a Thursday night I could end up drinking 4 bottles that weekend. I'd always feel crap for drinking the whole bottle & I'd promise myself I'd cut down. I hated seeing the bottles building up in the recycling. I never wanted to give it up but I definitely felt that I was drinking too much. I wasn't addicted, I just liked the habit of relaxing with wine at the weekend. I tried Dry January once & only lasted a week, not because I physically need to drink but because I wanted to. I'm very healthy in every other way, I eat healthy most of the time & exercise every day but I carry an extra stone which I struggle to get rid of & also suffer with chronic constipation which I've tried everything for but nothing works.

In January I had to have two different dental surgeries 2 weeks apart so for 4 weeks I was on strong painkillers & recovering so I couldn't drink. I was looking forward to the month off & lowering my tolerance for when I could drink again. After a week of not drinking I noticed my face looked much better, It wasn't as red as usual & I didn't realise that it had been so puffy before & all that was gone. I also noticed my sleep was much better. I had always tossed & turned & had to get up at least once during the night to go to the toilet but I was sleeping the whole night & my I could see on my Fitbit that my REM sleep percentage went from 15% a night to 25%! I also started being able to go to the toilet normally after years of suffering with constipation. My poor body must have been so dehydrated! I usually get really bad PMT but that seems to have disappeared. I've also lost half a stone. My stomach was so bloated & now it's gone right down. I didn't think that the alcohol was effecting me at all physically until I had this break from it.

So because I feel so good I don't want to drink now & ruin it. I can't even believe I'm saying that. I recovered 2 weeks ago from my surgeries so I could have had a drink but now I don't want to. It's really weird because it's like something I loved before now seems like poison to me. I also haven't eaten crisps or takeaways since I stopped drinking. I hadn't realised that they'd gone hand in hand. I've definitely started eating more chocolate though 😜 I've saved a lot of money which I've spent on skincare products & I really don't want to go bs k to Aldi serum now! So I've sort of accidentally given up alcohol. I'm not saying I've given it up forever but for now It's just not appealing to me at all.