Help needed with motivation

[Graphista]

Posted here for traffic, I've tried Googling but articles focus on long term goals that apply to "normal" people and I am finding it hard to relate to them.

I suffer from mental illness, recently had a "boost" which led to increased productivity for a while but I think I maybe overdid it and now I've hit a slump/funk that I'm finding it REALLY hard to get out of.

Posted here as I say for traffic but also as even though I do have the factor of mental illness I think it's something a lot of people experience and so I'm hoping that anyone who's had this feeling and been able to get themselves out of it and be able to do more generally.

Its doing stuff that's "normal" for other people that I'm struggling to do/keep on top of -

Chores mainly, some self care stuff, I don't think the details of the activities are important except that there isn't a "goal" I can really set because this is stuff I need to get in a rhythm of and do consistently for life - which feels really overwhelming.

It's the mindset aspect I need to tackle/solve.

I've tried :

Reminders on calendar on phone
Alarms on phone
To do lists

I kinda feel like if I were able to put some kind of reward system in place for myself or a way of tracking that I am doing stuff that may work?

Any ideas ?

Daft/fun ideas totally welcome, the usual structure/berating myself for not doing stuff isn't working

If you've been successful in creating and maintaining a good routine for yourself with anything how did you do it? Mindset speaking?

Feel so frustrated with myself

Desperately hopeful bump I really need help with this.

Once I get going I'm fine - it's the getting going I find so hard!

I like to do lists, breaking things down in to tiny chunks and ticking off really easy things too, like 'have a cup of coffee' tick .
You said you'd tried it though, hmm when I am really struggling I listen to music a lot, it really helps my mood. Could you get your tasks done while listening to music at the same time?

Yes I tend to do better if I put upbeat music on. At the moment I just stick radio on but I'm thinking I might make a motivational playlist on Spotify and play that when I need a kick up the arse!

I've ocd and love a list but maybe too much? I have lists for everything and I think it's made me kinda immune to their power.

I almost feel like I need a drill sergeant here making me get on with stuff (I know that's not a thing and actually suspect if it was I'd rebel anyway!)

So so hard. I just feel overwhelmed even at the mere thought of doing the smallest tasks.

What are you doing instead of the activities you want to do? For me it's scrolling on my phone. I lose hours to it and if I want to be productive I have to put my phone away in another room - out of sight, out of mind.
What are your distractions that you lose time to?

I lose time on the phone yes, watching tv/film too.

Lose hours doing that.

Basically the recent change is I finally seem to have cracked a long period of insomnia that basically meant I had the opposite body clock to everyone else so was awake all night and would sleep in the day (but not proper sleep, hour or 2 at a time and then too knackered the rest of the day time to do anything!) so I was most awake between hours of about 3-7 am when I couldn't do anything due to not disturbing others.

I'm now finally awake in the day (though I'm knackered as body is not totally adjusted yet) and wanting to not waste the opportunity.

I genuinely panic if my phone is out of sight. It's my only link to the outside world to my supporters. It's a weird relationship.

I've coped for many years by flooding my brain with electronic distractions to prevent panic attacks

I recommend taking magnesium for insomnia. Also Epsom salt baths or footbaths. Lavender oil on the pillow too.
Although you feel attached to your phone, it is liberating when you put it in a drawer and instead put on some music and get on with chores. The fact that we find it so hard to do that should be a wake up call to us.

I understand your advice is meant kindly but believe me none of that sort of advice did or would help with serious insomnia attached to severe mh issues of many decades duration

My insomnia goes back to feeling unsafe in bed as a child I've had tons of therapy and treatments

It's been a battle to correct that

At the moment I am having and trying to maintain a normal sleep pattern.

But I'm not managing to get stuff done, I feel literally physically "heavy" when I try and go and do things I don't want to do but need doing

Well done for sorting out your sleeping pattern. I become nocturnal when left to my own devices so sympathise.

Would setting small targets work? When I’m not feeling motivated I use ad breaks to set a challenge to eg put a wash on; moisturise or menu plan.

Maybe start with self care, everyday till it becomes a routine then add something new.

Also I think you’re being too harsh on yourself. Prioritising your sleep pattern is a good thing to do.

I found myself spiralling downwards a couple of months ago so I promised myself to keep up with The Organised Mum Method of cleaning (TOMM). Have a google and see if it would appeal to you. It means I can get all of my chores out of the way in just 45 mins per day Monday - Friday. Knowing there is a time limit and a checklist to follow makes it easier. It just makes it feel like I’m on top of things when the house is organised.

I'm fascinated with by this thread and I have some tasks to do that I really can't face and I have also been wondering how to do them (lists are good but too easy to ignore).

In the past I've had some luck with setting myself a Busy Hour. You are supposed to choose an hour when you naturally feel energetic. Then, at the appointed start time you basically race through as many tasks as you can, literally go at the run if you can. I plan my busy hour during breakfast, thinking of all the things I want / need to get done and the most efficient order to do them in. On my list, I give myself a target - if I get these tasks done then I will reward myself with (something specific), if I get these bonus tasks done I'll give myself a treat ( eg watch a film later).

For housework, I'll often give myself have a Crazy 45 minutes before I shower in the morning, in which I go crazy trying to do as much housework as I can possibly do in 45 mins, then when my timer buzzes that's it, and I hop in the shower to wash off the grime.

Having a deadline really motivates me, basically. It's when there's loads of time and nothing matters, that's hard to get yourself up and running.

berating myself for not doing stuff isn't working
Is this the real issue? How can you change your mindset so you don't feel guilty if you don't get it done? Are you setting yourself too much to do so whatever happens you can breathe yourself?

I think maybe lists of small jobs. Clean the shower, clean the mirror etc rather than clean the bathroom. Give yourself 30 minutes to get as much as possible done. Then a cup of tea. Maybe another 30 minutes depending on your commitments.

The point is to get as much as possible done in that time. Some days you will get more done because the tasks are smaller/easier or because you're super motivated. Some times you will get less done because you feel like crap or one job took 30 minutes. It doesn't matter. Drop the guilt. You did your best in that 30 minutes. Don't discuss it with yourself any more.

Can you get one of those sport's arm bands for your phone? Then you can wear it, you know you have it, can listen to music whilst you're doing whatever.

Hi @Graphista , I'm glad you're slowly winning your battle with insomnia! I have found that a combination of "to do" lists and setting time limits works for me. If it's a bad day I break tasks down into smaller tasks so doing the washing becomes do washing, dry, fold, put away etc. Then I set a timer on my phone for 30 minutes and do whatever I can manage, at my own pace, in that time. I tick off what I have achieved and have a timed break, usually 15 minutes (occasionally 30!) then I do another 30 minutes of tasks... I know we're all different but you might find it helpful to try this way, just adjust the "work " time to an achievable level for how you feel at the time 👍🏼 Once I've got a few little things done I usually feel a bit better and more motivated to do another task or two. Good luck and keep posting, I'm sure others will suggest systems that work for them that you can try to 💐

Too not to!!!

Clean the shower while you’re in it. Just a quick wipe down. I keep a sponge in the shower for this purpose. And just use shower gel. As flylady says ‘soap is soap’
Don’t worry about getting it all done at once. Eventually it will all be clean.

The ocd means I cannot break many chores down into constituent parts as I have to do them a certain way. This means they take a long time and are exhausting. Also because I have to "decontaminate" after doing certain jobs and that itself is disheartening and exhausting but I am not able to not do this at the moment

Eg I would NEVER clean the shower while in it as I would feel contaminated by the dirt I'd cleaned off, I'd have to shower x amount of times after and would probably still feel extremely anxious

My current "plan" is to aim to do one large/time consuming chore a day, my challenge is getting going on that one chore, the impetus to do it when I know it's going to make me

Anxious
Sore
Knackered

But I also know that having done it makes me feel

Proud
Satisfied
Less anxious as I no longer feel guilty for not doing it!

It's the drudgery aspect that gets to me too, the never ending aspect of it all, yea I'm caught up on this weeks laundry but next week I've got it all to do again! And I see it building up and that stresses me too

I know that's reality of life but I hate it and haven't yet found a way to make my peace with it or to cope with that cycle mentally ie no point worrying about it until it's time to do it again

Setting myself a particular time to do chores works to some extent

Great that you’ve thought of a potential strategy
Would you do one task and only that task till it’s done?
Would writing down how you felt after completing it help as a reminder when you need motivation/ impetus?
A gift to your future self if you like.

Would you do one task and only that task till it’s done?

Yes, and I have to have a detailed plan for it too in order to prevent "contamination"

Would writing down how you felt after completing it help as a reminder when you need motivation/ impetus?

That's a good idea - but where? Somewhere I could see it or where it could be a prompt for doing the task again would be good.

I've also made myself a motivational playlist - any suggestions for this gratefully received I've tried searching mn archives as I'm sure there are several threads with such songs but I'm clearly not remembering the thread titles well as not getting good results

It’s up to you where you’d write
I used to have something similar up on my kitchen so I’d always see it.
If you felt like that would lose impact over time then perhaps in a lovely notebook?

Play to your strengths
You like detail plans
Allow yourself that time
Mark off what you’ve completed
See the progress
Feel the progress
Write down how you feel at the end.
In detail.

Do you like rewards at the end of a task? Praise? From yourself or others? Can you make that part of the plan?